18 weeks with questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
18 weeks with questions
6
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 3:06pm

Hello,


I'm a bit of a lurker.

Liz- Mom to Jacob, born 2/4/11. IF and Miscarriage survivor. Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Sat, 09-04-2010 - 10:01am

Hi. For myself those 'nagging worries' last for a long time...even until I hold that baby in my arms. My first pg ended in early m/c. It was hard but I wasn't too crazed when I got pg with my son until I spotted. I worried until he was in my arms. When we tried for #2 we had 3 m/c along the way. By the time I was pg with our 2nd son, I didn't enjoy the pg till the end and kind of regret not enjoying it. This pg felt different from the beginning, but I still worry. I was actually good until a couple days ago when I had some belly aches and got upset thinking something was wrong. As a PAL, I don't think you can ever be carefree and fully relaxed when pg...it is so hard.

When I was pg with my 2nd son I refused to get anything for him till I was about 30 wks...that's how fearful I was. A friend bought something for baby at 12wks but I didn't open it till I was over 20wks..and shook opening it. With this pg I am a little more at ease. BBrU has their trade in deal now so we took advantage by trading in something so we get 25% off a double stroller we will need. It was difficult to buy a big item right now, but we just had to for the deal....and surprisingly I am really okay with it. I really enjoyed looking at the strollers and making that purchase. We haven't opened it but I stop and look at the pictures of it on the box whenever I walk past it in our basement...it makes me smile. We are going to have to look for furniture ourselves for our little guy to go into so the baby can have the crib eventually. I was told by someone in my docs office who has been my rock there, to enjoy each and every day you have with this new little one and think positively this time. It is working for the most part, but I do have my worrysome moments. I try to take things day by day and enjoy growing and looking forward to each doctor appt.

Only you will know when it is the right time to buy furniture. Start slowly by going out to look at what they have available. You may have that feeling to start buying or you may just want to think about it a little bit. Easier said than done, I know, but try to think positively and enjoy every day and look forward to each doctor appointment and milestone of the pg. That is what I find myself saying everyday to myself.

Jaime

Mom of 2 boys (5 and 1)
with 4 angels up above



having a baby

BabyFruit Ticker
Jaime

Mom of 2 boys (5 and 1)
with 4 angels up above



pregnancy calendar

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2009
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 9:37pm

Hi Liz,

Welcome to PAL! Well, unfortunately I don't think those nagging doubts ever really go away. They haven't for me at least. It does get better as time goes on, but there's always a pesky little voice in the back of the PAL mind reminding us that nothing is for certain. I think that's just part of the curse of being a PAL. As for nursery furniture, I would start looking now - some special order items can take 10-12 weeks to ship, so you may need to order them around 20-22 weeks. I think you're safe to start now though. :) Glad you decided to come out of lurking!

Melissa - 38

DH - 38

DD - Almost 2!



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2010
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 9:30pm

First off, welcome Liz! So glad you came out of lurkdom to join us! I also waited quite a while to announce my pregnancy IRL just out of fear. Like Kara, I ended up buying a doppler that really helped to ease my mind until I started feeling my little guy moving. Now that I can feel him swimming regularly, I don't use my doppler much. That said, I still have those "what if" moments, and like the PPs said, I think that's just a normal part of being PAL.

However crazy our brains may get though, just realize that you ARE in the 2T...a pretty darn safe place to be! Worrying does nothing for our little ones and our pregnancies are pretty much on auto-pilot right now. Just keep looking forward and decorate away! It will be a GREAT thing for you to focus on and get excited about! And be sure to keep us posted on your nursery and your little one!

Jen--


Pregnant after Valentine's Day loss

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wedding ticker

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Jen--


Pregnant after Valentine's Day loss

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2005
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 6:40pm

Umm...it doesn't go away??? Sorry, that's not helpful or constructive ;)

I went through the whole fertility treatment thing and all the stress associated with it, only to lose ours 3 days before Christmas last year. But now here we are 21+ weeks along with twins. Honestly, what kept me sane until about a week ago was the doppler I rented. Every time I had those freak outs, I'd pull it out and listen to their hearts beating away strong. Now, I'm starting to feel them which is helping a lot (I sent the doppler back, it was time). Honestly, for me, it came down to thinking about what I wanted out of this pregnancy. I made a decision at some point that I couldn't live in the "what ifs" because I didn't want to look back in 9 months and think "wow, I worried away my entire pregnancy and never enjoyed it". So, I sometimes have to remind myself, but the fact is, I can't change the outcome, statistics are well in my (our) favor at this point, and these babies (baby) deserve to have me excited and happy.

So go get started on that nursery :)

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Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2010
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 5:29pm

Hey Liz,
I'm glad you've come out of lurkdom and decided to post. :) I'm just a couple days behind you and I still get freaked out a lot of the time. Like every time I go in for an u/s. It's horrible. I have our anatomy scan tomorrow and once again, my mind is jumping to the worst possible scenario. So, I'm totally with you. I hope that both of us can start letting go soon and actually get excited and not feel scared to tell people anymore.

As for the nursery stuff, I say do whatever makes you feel good! Decorate away!

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BabyFruit Ticker




iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2010
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 3:27pm
I'm sorry to say that the 'nagging feeling' probably won't go away until that baby is in your arms, but it will decrease as time goes on. If you think that working on the nursery will make you feel better, then go for it. There are quite a few ladies on this board who set up their nursery early and I think it helped them be excited rather than just scared all the time. (I hope they'll speak up if I'm wrong). You sound as if you're on a roll already. I just started buying things last week. It was really hard for me to do, but I'm glad that I did it. I probably won't set up the nursery until December (my EDD is Dec 25), but that's just me. Good luck and post pics as you get the nursery going. We like to see those.