New, scared, and a little guilty

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
New, scared, and a little guilty
6
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 7:11pm
Hello everyone. I'm new to this board.

Last month I had a m/c at about 5w. I have been spotting ever since. Last week I started feeling like I was pregnant again. The doctor confirmed that yes I am. I can't believe it. I was supposed to use contraception, but I got married on March 21 and it didn't seem right to wear protection on our wedding night. Part of me thought I couldn't get pregnant while I was still spotting. But, now I am.

They don't know exactly how far along I am, but it seems to me it would be about 4 weeks. I am scared to death that either I will m/c again or develop a molar pregnancy. I am still spotting. Can anyone give me any positive words?

Felicia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 9:01pm
((((Felicia)))) I don't have any advice but wanted to send hugs and positive thoughts your way!

Nancy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 8:10am
Thanks Nancy. Hugs help.

Felicia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 9:41am
Felicia:

Don't feel guilty!! Scared is unavoidable, but holy cow, don't burden yourself with guilt right now: you have enough to think about!!!

Here's my two cents. (Others may disagree......) I had a m/c in November 2002 and didn't want to wait AT ALL before trying to get pg, so I had many conversations with many people about how long I was "supposed" to wait. What I decided, after comparing all the responses I got, was that, while we all get told that it's "better" to wait a few months, there's no scientific basis for that advice. It seems to come down to this general belief that its emotionally easier if a woman gives herself time to heal......but it always seemed to me that this should really be up to the individual.

My mw was checking my hcg levels and it took them about six weeks to get back to zero, and we started trying immediately after that and were successful the second cycle. (I miscarried later into the pg than you: at 11 weeks.) I think there are a LOT of women out there who got pg right after an early m/c who had or are having totally healthy pregnancies.

Anyway, I don't know if this helped, but here's a {{HUG}} and some calming vibes. I know about the being scared thing: I'm coming up on my 12 week appt (which is when we got bad news last time) and I'm a MESS!!! But do try to remain calm anyway.

-Penny

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 11:46am
Oh (((Penny))), thank you, thank you so much! It is so easy to feel like I'm the only one. I was hoping there was someone out there with a similar situation to mine. Thank you for your response. I feel a little bit better. I'm still worried though. I don't know when I'll start to feel more confident. They are seeing me every week for HCG levels and u/s until they feel confident things are progressing well. Maybe then I'll start to be excited about having my first child.

My prayers are with you for your 12 week exam. I can't wait 'til you write back that it's over and your baby is still healthy!

Thanks again,

Felicia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 11:52am
Welcome Felicia, and congrats on your pregnancy!

Don't feel guilty, sweetie... I know you're scared, but you've really got to focus on the positives. You have a much better chance of having a healthy full-term pregnancy than not, right? I get worried, too... I know all of us on this board do, and it's natural... but pls don't beat yourself up. That's your kid's mom you're talking about - remember to take care of her, too. :)

Hugs and belly rubs...

-- Laura & Peanut, 5w6d

Avatar for belwah87
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 8:26pm
Hi Felicia!

Welcome to PAL and congratulations on both your pregnancy and your marriage!!

I'm so sorry that you're spotting, I know how much than can make you worry. Just remember that a lot of women spot and still go on to have healthy pregnancies (I spotted a bit earlier this week, and that's what the doctor keeps telling me....it's hard to take that to heart, but it is true.) I find that it's helping me to just take things one day at a time.

Lots of gentle and reassuring hugs,

Pam (and P'nut due around 12/8)