Cautiously here

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
Cautiously here
13
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:36pm

Hi everyone!

I knew I wouldn't last long on the TTC board, because C isn't ever the problem. I have a 3 1/2 year old son, and two miscarriages since Aug. 07. The last one was on Mar 25, and all happened naturally, so the midwife called it a reset and said we didn't have to wait.

Well, we didn't prevent, but honestly didn't try a whole lot either (since I had no idea when O would be). But I POAS yesterday, having seen no signs of AF, and it had 2 lines, I was so shocked.

They made me come get hCG levels and the first was 59. So I go again tomorrow. Bah. So I won't know anything until Thursday. Anyone else in scary first hCG land? I'm in unfamiliar territory right now.

The worst, worst thing is I can't tell any of my family because DH won't let me this time. So I have to vent here.

Best to all-


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:42pm

Welcome to the board, this is a great place for support and to tell people when you can't tell anyone else.


Like you I never had a problem conceiving just sticking and after 4 losses here I am at 5.5 weeks.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:07am

Congratulations on your pg Meredith and welcome to the board!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:26am

Welcome hon!


I had my beta's done last week, and even though they were fine, being a PAL means I am still worried. But at least I have a group of ppl to be worried

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:28am

Welcome and congratulations (cautiously:)!


You've found a great place for support. I also had 2 losses, and the first few weeks were incredibly difficult and anxiety-filled. I'm afraid I don't know anything about numbers, other than they're supposed to go up...so I'm not much help. But I wish you the best as you wait and hope. And we're here for you, so lean on us!


Molly

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2004
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:47am

CONGRATS on your pregnancy!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 10:16am
Congrats on you BFP and I am wishing you a super H&H 9 months. I look foward to getting to know you!!! KUP on your next lab!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 1:35pm
Welcome!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2008
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 2:03pm

Welcome Meregdith! Congrats. I think we're all pretty cautious here at first. Dh & I have yet to tell a soul either & won't until we see the HB at our 1st u/s. I'm dying to share this news but after what we went through last time with our loss I can see the value in waiting.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 2:43pm

Hi Meredith =]

I am in the same numbers game you are in right now. I poas and got 2 lines on the 19th; my dr tested my hCG on the 25th and 27th. My levels were 450, and then 950(ish); they found no sac or sign of implantation on the u/s. She says she believes I'm only about 5 days pg! O_o I asked how that could be, since I had a bfp hpt more than 5 days ago...she kinda shrugged.

It really sucks, not knowing what's going on, having to wait, wait, wait. It makes me feel like I am setting myself up, like some crazy type of self-torture. I must plan, behave, and think like I am pg, even though I know I may not be pg . I actually get a little resentful when dh comments that I am pg, because I sometimes feel it's insensitive of him to get my hopes up like that, lol....that sounds so crazy, but I'm so nervous, I almost don't want to be reminded that I'm "kinda pregnant" until I know for sure that it's gonna stick.

And about not being able to tell anyone, I certainly know how tough that is. Dh and I decided together not to tell anyone this time, until I ended up in the hospital, and the dr said I had a m/c. He had to leave work, I had to leave work, so we had to tell certain people what had happened. It seems now that EVERYONE knows I had a m/c, even though my 2nd opinion dr has established that I did not have a m/c! So, yeah. It's tough not being able to talk to anyone about it, but it's also really tough to have everyone sending me condolences, and acting strange and sad around me, because they all think we lost the baby. I feel like such a liar all the time =X

I think it's important to have at least ONE person you can trust, and lean on, aside from dh. It can put a LOT of strain and stress on you and your marriage if your dh is your only support, and that stuff isn't good for pg! Also, I found when I thought I had a m/c, I was MISERABLE; dh had to work, and I just sat on the sofa and cried for two days...ALONE. It was awful, and depressing, and I came to blame myself a lot of the time. There wasn't anyone around to remind me that it wasn't my fault. When I was pg the last time, I felt awful when dh begged his best friend's wife (whom I barely knew) to befriend me, because all I ever talked about is babies, babies, babies, and it was driving him up the wall...Even when I was pg, it was stressing him out that he was the only one I counted on for pg support.

LOL...sorry, this got kinda long. I'm really absentminded and scatter-brained from quitting smoking a week ago! I hth, though, and I hope you find the support you're looking for here =]




















Kyla Nicole


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2008
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 2:55pm

Hi Meredith!

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