This is a hard month for me

I have been thinking a lot lately about my losses. Both my chemical pregnancy and my miscarriage had EDD in October, meaning I got pregnant in January. And here I am due in January, worrying that January is an unlucky month. I didn't miscarry in January, but it still seems unlucky to me. I am so thankful I have my son, and not only that but I am with the most amazing man in the world. Last night he took me out. He always consults me on if we can afford to, but lately he has loved taking me out for surprise dates and he is just amazing. I don't think I will ever stop worrying about losing more babies, but at least now I have a man who will stand by me and support me through it. So today I light my candle to the lives that could have been, and for my son. May his brothers and sisters watch over us and keep us safe through the rest of this pregnancy and beyond.