Accidents and the Pill

Avatar for catz_play
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Accidents and the Pill
5
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 10:12am
Well, met a guy and we have been dating for not to terribly long time, but the subject of sex has come up and how it won't happen until we are exclusive - That we agree on...HOWEVER..

He seems to believe that because I am on the pill, we shouldn't have to use condoms. We are both "clean" and everything thing checks out - but because I don't want kids and I really only got on the pill for med reasons, I insist on that little extra "insurace" by using a secondry method.

He says he has rarely ever used him and if I am on the pill, we are safe..*Translation - Birch control is my responsibility and he shouldn't have to do anything HOWEVER...if that should fail he seems to believe that I can't have an abortion if I wnted to - "i have no right to do that and if I didn't want it - he wouls raise it...

Silly me, my body, my right...that being said, i would hope not to ever face that...

So....any suggestions on how to get through this - if that is even possible...i should mention we have fooled around some, but nothing got close to worry about an accident

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 10:37am
I believe a favored phrase is "no glove, no love!"

That said, I understand his not wanting to use them - they suck! We both hated them, way back when we used them. The pill is considered 99.9% effective if you use them perfectly, for many of us that is considered good enough, but it IS your body & if you are not comfortable relying on your pills, don't.

Birth control should be the concern of BOTH of you. So should the possibilities of a termination be should it ever come to that. If he's not willing to be responsible, don't have sex with him yet. This is too big of an issue to compromise on, if the two of you can't agree, I have doubts that you're ready for an intimate relationship.

Good Luck, hope you can work it our together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 10:41am
I agree,if you aren't comfy relying on the PILL as your only form of birth control,don't--IT'S YOUR CHOICE!!But if they are taken correctly w/o missing any pills they are pretty effective....You could always use spermicide (I used this in combo).....good luck!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 11:13am
Hi catz play, welcome!

It is YOUR body and it’s YOUR choice! You should be using a contraceptive method, or methods, that will be effective and that you are confident will protect you. There is nothing more mood shattering than worrying about the possibility of pregnancy. Oral contraceptives are very effective if taken correctly, but if they aren’t enough to put your mind at ease, you could use an additional method such as the sponge or a diaphragm or cervical cap all of which can be inserted well before IC so they won’t interrupt the spontaneity of the moment. If you really want to use condoms then the female condom might be an option. In my experience, “no glove, no love” is usually effective in changing the male mind.



Good luck

      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 12:24pm
when i was on the pill, i didn't use condoms and it was my choice, not my boyfriend's. i just didn't like them. and we're both clean, so it was nothing to worry about. i was on the pill for 7 years and have never become pregnant. success rate of the pill is very high- 99% i believe.

however, if you still want to use condoms, i say go for it. it's not necessary but if you ever miss a pill, or 2, it's a back-up you'll need.

hope that helps!

erin

Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 7:35pm
What a risk this guy has been taking - in this day and age he has rarely used condoms? Wow.

Bottom line, if you don't want to rely solely on BCPs, then don't. Insist that you use condoms as well. If this man gives you grief about it, then you have learned something about his character. Actually, from what you said, I think his perspective on this is already pretty clear. Is this the kind of guy you want to spend time with?