Time for birth control! :) Sorry, long!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Time for birth control! :) Sorry, long!
18
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 4:41pm
Ok I'm trying to be happy about it at least, despite the guilt :) I had my first time earlier this week. Well, a sorry attempt at a first time :) We both got scared in the middle and stopped.

So, I've been charting. He's a doctor and keeps an eye on it too. But if there is anyone here who uses NFP I'd love to chat about how you handle the pre-ovulation rules. While I feel pretty confident, this happened pre-ovulation which always makes it just a bit more risky. I'd love to hear from someone who uses the pre-ovulation rules successfully! This all happened Monday, and today is the first day I am noticing signs of fertility. Its just scary since this is the first time!

Also I'd like to at least consider other forms of BC while we aren't married. The pill is not a possibility right now because I need blood tests, but for my future education I would really like info on whether it is possible to use fertility awareness with the pill. My feeling is that using the pill would disguise the signs of ovulation, and I don't want to use the pill unless I can be 100% sure I'm not ovulating. Anyone know where to get info on this?

I've never even seen a condom before. No idea how to use one. And honestly the failure rate seems pretty high! But I think I'd be willing to do that + fertility awareness. What is the best kind? I think I want to avoid N-9 because I have sensitive skin in general so I'm guessing it'd be the same down there?? :)

Any other suggestions? I'm definitely not comfortable inserting things.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 5:38pm
Just read something else...

If I'm going to continue using fertility awareness than spermicidal creams really aren't an option because you can't check cm as reliably.

So thats one less option!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 5:43pm
I believe you can still watch for fertility signs while on BCP, but there shoudn't BE any fertilty signs!!! It isn't that the pill is "disguising the signs of ovulation" it is that the pill is supressing ovulation, so there will be no signs. Just as a side note, I've never tracked my fertility signs, but this is what I believe to be true!

Condoms are easy to use. If I remember correctly, there are directions on the box. One big point is to remember to squeeze all the air out of the tip & leave that reservoir room, this is the pocket to catch the ejaculate & you want it to be completely empty (no air) before you start. The other thing is that he must hold the base & pull out right after ejaculation, before he starts to lose his erection, so that no semen spills into you. We hated condoms & wouldn't use them now on a bet, but some people don't seem to mind them! N9 CAN be a problem, but you won't know if it is for you unless you try.

Good Luck, whatever you decide!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 5:46pm
You're right. I didn't word that very well.

But on the off chance I were to ovulate on the pill, it would be very important for me to know it for moral reasons. So I'm wondering if I'd still see egg white cm and all that good stuff.

Thanks for the info! Are condoms just really uncomfortable? They sound uncomfortable...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 6:35pm
"Are condoms just really uncomfortable? They sound uncomfortable..."

They were for my husband. They were REALLY tight, to the point that they cut off blood flow. It is challenging to maintain an erection without bloodflow....! They also decrease sensation because you aren't skin-to-skin.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 11:57pm
Hi iposh,

Sweetie, if your BF is a doctor you need to have a long, long talk with him about birth control! If you don’t know anything about condoms he certainly should!

There is a difference between Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) and Natural Family Planning (NFP). Both use fertility signs: basal body temperature, cervical position and cervical mucus to determine when you are fertile. With FAM you use barriers for protection during your fertile times. Using NFP you abstain during your fertile times.

If you are interested in FAM/NFP and you haven’t read ‘Taking Charge of Your Fertility’ by Toni Weschler then you certainly should. It is an excellent treatment of the subject. Also, if your religious beliefs dictate the use of NFP then you might want to take an NFP class through the Catholic Church. Your Local Catholic Services organization should be able help you there. Learning FAM/NFP on your own can be very tricky. If all the rules are followed all the time FAM/NFP can be very effective but it is unforgiving of mistakes. Take a look at the iVillage NFP site at http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppnfp They have a lot of good information there.

If you want to use FAM (barriers during your fertile times) you might want to consider a diaphragm or a cervical cap. I know you mentioned not being comfortable inserting things but if you give them a try you might find a diaphragm or cap to be as effective and allow far more spontaneity and sensitivity. A cap works well for me. Just a thought.

If you begin taking oral contraceptives then as other posters have said you shouldn’t be ovulating. You could establish a cover-line of temperature readings and watch for an upward spike. CL-Judie Rae did that for several weeks when she started NuvaRing to become comfortable that it was preventing ovulation.

Good luck

      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2003
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 8:48am
Hi iposh!

I stopped using the pill several months ago. We are currently using condoms. My husband recently had a vasectomy, but we will not have the final post vasectomy sperm test till June. I also use FAM to keep track of things. It is hard in the pre-ovulation time frame. We try to do "other things" during the time of possible ovulation. My husband doesnt mind condoms so much- he says its better than doing nothing! I agree with Jill. If your SO is a doctor, he can point you in the direction you both should go!

~Josie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 11:26am
Hi iposh!

I am on bcp and I do check for fertility signs. As everyone else has said, being on the pill I shouldn't have any . . .and I don't! It just gives me an extra feeling of security to really know my body, to understand how it works, AND to take comfort that the pill is doing it's job. Before I was on the pill, it was very clear to me when I was ovulating - I had slight cramping and the egg white mucuous. Now, I don't experience either. Reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" (as was referred to) really helped me do this. I also take my temperature every morning and check my cervix. It takes really no time at all and I like the extra security (and feeling of empowerment!) I get from being in tune with my body. Sounds a little philosophical, I know, but it's true! Anyway, I write all this to say that what has worked best for me is a combination of bcp and having a better understanding of my body and how it works. Who better than me, right?

Good luck!

Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 12:40pm
Thanks everyone for all of your advice!! I really appreciate it.

Now I think I have a good idea of our options so I can have a talk with him. The important thing is that we have to find something we are both comfortable with because this is the last time I'm going to be the only one feeling uncomfortable :)

Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 4:25pm
My BF and I used condoms for 10 years, no problem. However, we did try several different types to get the best fit for him. I don't think the sensation was dramatically less, but it does make you take a time out before entry. Which wasn't a problem for me since the goal is to not get prego!!!

Make sure you look at all of your options, there are plenty of them!

Good luck.
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 6:06pm
I used condoms for years and they were fine. They are made of very thin material, and although there is some decrease in sensation (mostly on the man's side), it's not a big decrease. Definitely try different types until you find the one that you guys like best. Sufficient lubrication is key to successful condom use.

If you are uncomfortable with the failure rate of condoms, then you should use a back up method - diaphragm or whatever you choose.

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