Pulling Out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Pulling Out?
6
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 10:19am
I recently got married, and before we were married we always used a condom, even though I'm on the pill. After we got married we started having sex without a condom. I love it, it's better for me, I feel closer to him, I just love having real, unprotected sex with him. He's really nervous that by cuming inside me it increases the possibility of me becoming pregnant so he usually ends up pulling out at the last minute. While I agree that by not using a condom it probably does increase the possibility of becoming pregnant I'm not conviced that pulling out helps that much simply because of pre-cum - isn't it just as potent? Am I right or wrong? I just love my new husband & I feel like since we are married we shouldn't have to worry about condoms anymore. Any thoughts? Suggestions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2004
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 10:48am
I know that it is scary especially if you don't want children right now. My husband and I are not planning on having children. It took my husband about 6 months after I went on the pill to feel comfortable with it. The point of taking the pill is so you don't have to worry about getting preg. As long as you take the pill correctly there shouldn't be any problems. It's been seven years now and only one scare here and that's because the dr told me to go off the pill for a few months. The only time we use condoms is when I am on antibotics. Or right now because I am off the pill. Good Luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 8:08am
So long as you're taking the pill correctly, it's 99% effective--that means on time, no conflicting prescription meds or herbal remedies, no missed pills, etc. So long as you're doing that, you are as well or better protected than if you were using condoms!

Pre-ejaculate does have sperm in it, different amounts for different men, though not as much as actual ejaculate--remind your husband that all it would take would be one sperm, regardless of where it came from, and that your pills are effective at preventing pregnancy.

I've been on hormonal contraceptives for seven years, and I just had to throw out a box of spermicide because it expired before I used it all! My condoms only have about six months left....my point is that they're not being used because they're not needed, I keep them around for when I have to take antibiotics or in case there's some mishap with the ring.

Good luck! Congratulations on being a newlywed!

Judie

Judie Cl for Birth Control 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2003
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 8:34am
Technically, it takes alot of sperm! Ask anyone who is having trouble conceiving(including me 10 years ago)! They all work to break down the outer part of the ovum; one sperm doesnt have enough in him to do it alone. But when that job is done, just one is needed to fertilize. They need help, but only one gets the grand prize!

But whose to know how much is in any mans pre-ejaculate at any given time! You DONT want to assume anything there!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 12:08pm
It sounds like you are still on the pill. Honestly, he really should not worry. If you are taking the pill within the same time frame (+/- 2 hours) each day you have nothing to worry about.

you are correct about the pulling out thing - the pre-cum contains sperm as well and that could get you pregnant... but again - YOU ARE ON THE PILL!!! It prevents you from even ovulating. Maybe telling your husband how the pill works specifically would help. Tell him it prevents ovulation and prevents an egg from implanting (not that there is one there anyways). and it also thickens the cervical mucus to prevent sperm from getting thru as easily.

Maybe that will help him. He will probably enjoy finishing in you as well in due time. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 7:31pm
Yeah, sitting down and talking about how the pill works 3 ways to prevent pregnancy (stopping ovulation, reducing the opening of the cervix and preventing implantation of a fertilized egg) might help ease his anxiety.

when i first went on the pill my boyfriend at the time was under the impression that the pill worked solely to prevent implantation. it took a lot of convincing and showing him articles on the topic to convince him that there's more to it than that and that my chances of getting pregnant were practically nil. for the record, i've been on the pill for about 5 and a half years and the only thing even close to a pregnancy scare was when my period came 12 hours late.

if you're a little nervous, too, you might want to consider getting fitted for a cervical cap or diaphragm, or using something like the vaginal contraceptive film (it's a spermicide). you still get the natural feeling, but both of you can be sure you're protected like you should be. i'm contemplating getting fitted for a cervical cap since I really don't want to be pregnant. i take my pills on time and never miss them, but i tend to be a worry wart. since i've recently switched brands that anxiety has been turned up a notch, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 8:56pm
Thank you everyone for all you suggestions! I really appreciate it. I'll tell my husband about all of this & hopefully he'll calm down a little bit. I do take my pill very regularly, and he even sees me take it every morning, so he even has "proof" :)

Thanks again!