Restarting BC

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Restarting BC
5
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:31pm
I was supposed to get my depo shot in February and decided against it because there was no need for it without a relationship. Since then I have developed a romance with someone I've been close to for 1 1/2 yrs and his job just transfered him 2,000 miles away from me. So our personal time together is going to be limited, at least for a while. My question is when going back on the shot how important is it to stay strictly to the 5 day window. When I get to my appointment it will actually be 8 days after the start of my period. But I am going to see him in a couple of weeks and want to make sure we are protected. Neither of us are big fans of condoms, but will use them as a last resort since we are even less fans of an unplanned pregnancy. If there are other forms that I can get started on, I would consider switching to something different. My cycles are just now started to regulate, and I also don't want to confuse my body even more and end up on a period when I go see him. Any suggestions??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: bigdogrnr
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 8:01am
Well, my personal preference for a long-distance relationship where you don't see somebody for weeks at a time is for something as minimally invasive as possible. My fiance and I have been LDR a couple of times in our relationship, though I stayed on the pill both for protection and because I hated my off-pill periods.

The five-day window, I think, is to make sure that you get your shot early enough in your cycle to prevent ovulation, otherwise it's a little iffy if you'll be protected right away. As far as whether those three days make a difference, I think I'd ask my doctor.

But if you're interested in something not as disruptive to your system as Depo, which can have irregular bleeding as a side effect, the pill, the patch, or the ring are other hormonal options that are very effective and will allow you to have regular bleeding intervals (not periods because you're not ovulating). As always, whenever you start a method of hormonal contraception, it is possible that you'll have irregular bleeding in the first month (or two or three, depending on how you do).

There is always the option of a diaphragm or cervical cap, but the success of those methods require a good fitting by a physician who knows what s/he's doing and how good you are at using them. They can be as effective as condoms and they don't affect your menstrual cycles at all, but you have to be diligent about using them properly. The upside to a cap or diaphragm is that you only are using birth control when you actually need it, it's not something that you have to worry about every day like the pill (though the patch is once a week and the ring is once a month).

And I hate to throw this out there as one more thing you have to think about, but if you both haven't been tested for STD's, you really do need to keep using condoms until you both come back with clean tests. It's the only form of birth control that will help protect you from STD's, I'm afraid, and not too many people like them! But sometimes they're a necessity.

So you still have a bunch of options that are open to your personal preference! My DF and I don't schedule sex around periods, it's something we deal with and hasn't ever been an issue--dark towels and candlelight can help with a lot of the ick factor, and there's always the option to get romantic in the shower!

Good luck, if you've got other questions please just ask!

Judie
Co-cl for Birth Control
Judie Cl for Birth Control 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
In reply to: bigdogrnr
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 11:07am
Doesn't the effectiveness of a diaphram or cap reduce drasticly after having children? I've used diaphrams before and didn't have a problem with the use of it. But then several years later used condoms along with spemicide and developed an allergic reaction to the spermacide. Maybe I used too much? Not sure. I have a couple of weeks before I see my BF, so I can practice inserting the diaphram to be sure there's not a reaction. But I want to be sure it's as effective as possible.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: bigdogrnr
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 1:42pm
They're not --drastically-- less effective, but following a vaginal delivery, a woman wishing to use a diaphragm or cap absolutely needs to be refitted to see if her size has changed. Particularly with a cap, if the cervix has been damaged, there may not be a good seal, so the fitter will need to be experienced at fitting women who have had children, and that might be where the effectiveness drops (inexperienced fitter).

There are also spermicides that work that do not contain nonoxynol-9, which is what the typical allergen in spermicide is. For more information on these, you might e-mail cl-dancer31, she has a lot of experience in this area and I've learned a lot from her!

You can use a diaphragm as flow control during your period (the Instead softcup is similar and intended for feminine hygiene rather than contraception), which may help keep sex clean if you wanted to start the pill and ended up with some unexpected bleeding. The other thing is that you should practice having sex with your diaphragm while using another form of birth control so that you can get the bugs worked out without the swimmers working in. I know it sounds like a pain in the neck, but at least there are options out there and you're not down to the wire yet!

Judie
Co-cl for Birth Control
Judie Cl for Birth Control 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
In reply to: bigdogrnr
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:33am
Thanks for all the great info and encouragement. I went yesterday for my annual and got fitted for the diaphram. They all looked at me like I was crazy. Although they didn't discourage me, they didn't have anything possitive for me either. But with a long distance relationship, I just do see the purpose right now in subjecting my body to synthetic hormones just to be lucky enough to see my BF once or twice a month. I know for a fact I cannot be sure I would take a pill every single day at the same time each day. So in the past I have gotten the shot. But I'd like to give my body some time to be "normal" for a while. I've already had one incident in the past where I went off my shot to try to conceive and 6 months later did only to miscarry within days of finding out. Then my second child was after being on the shot again and after numerous trips to the hospital to stop labor, she was finally born 5 weeks premature. With a 95% rate and only seeing my BF once a month, if one of those little guys were lucky enough to get past, I'd like to at least know my body is capable of handling it to full term. I talked to my BF last night and he agrees that this is the best decision for us right now. And that is all that matters.

So thanks so much for everything! Without you and this website, I'd be walking around with very little info or encouragement, questioning if I made the right decision.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
In reply to: bigdogrnr
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:48am
Congratulations on getting your diaphragm! Good for you! I love my Milex diaphragm.

Let us know how you like it, ok?

      Jill