Overcoming Fear
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Overcoming Fear
| Tue, 06-01-2004 - 12:35pm |
My fiance & I have just given birth (7 weeks ago) to a beautiful baby girl. We had some difficulties during the pregnancy with varicose veins & blood clots. It was highly suggested by several doctors & nurses that we not have any more children because of her condition, plus given the fact that between us we have 4 children & are 36 & 35 respectively. We briefly discussed a tubal ligation but not enough to have made the decision when we had our child. I also believe she may have hoped to hear enough contradictory advice to try to have another. But now I think we have realized we should be thankful for the children we have been blessed with & move on. Now, after the fact, we are looking at aspects of birth control. She has high blood pressure so she is on medication for that & on the lower dose of the pill. This is not a long term soloution we want & are looking at what may be the best course of action to take next. She doesn't seem as inclined to go back & have a tubal ligation & I volounteered to have a vasectomy... So this is where I would like to have some advice & comfort I suppose... I want to the right thing by my family & her, I'm just nervous about this. Any help & advice will be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Stephen

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The procedure was done a year ago in March (we've been hormone free & loving it for nearly a year now). He is one of the very small percentage with lasting pain after the procedure, but he still agrees it was worth the outcome. I also asked him the other day & he realized it hasn't hurt recently, so hopefully things are looking up!!!
The procedure truly was quick, we were at the doctor's for less than a 1/2 hour, consultation & procedure.
I don't think any sane person can blame a guy for not wanting a doctor to prod & cut them *there*, but it is commendable when a man is willing to do so for the good of him & his partner & their relationship.
Yes, she had clotting issues too, had them but not as bad with her 2 previous pregnancies. This last one her vein behind her knee was about half to 3/4 the size of a dime & filled with clot. The Vascular surgeon was VERY VERY VERY impersonal & arrogant & didn't know why we were sent to him as he assured us it would not move. Well... a few days later a piece broke off & was only discovered because she was at her weekly visit & it was in her chart to be followed up on. Turns out that it was sticking about a half inch into the Femoral artery, she had emergency surgery that evening. They safely removed the clot & ligated the vein as it was so clotted the vein was useless. The surgery was done by this clown's partner who thankfully was his opposite, very caring & understanding. It was priceless when we saw the "clown" at the hospital & Mary told him "surprise". So... this has been an extremely weighin factor. The doctors & nurses were all with a few exceptions very good at Piedmont. One particular mid wife who was checking up on us told her in a very nice motherly way, that we were very lucky/blessed in what we have & to not push that luck, too take what we have be thankful & not have anoter child & take a more certain risk that something would happen. My feelings for Mary go very deep, she is my high school sweetheart, we were lost to each other for 17 years, I could not bear the thought that something untoward would happen to her like this, especially if I can do something to help. That's why I think it's in my realm of responsibility to do this.
Stephen
Love to all of you & May God bless & keep you & your families.
Stephen
But if you are worried, go to your doctor and get a referral...
Stephen
Climbinggirl
Josie
It's only human to be nervous about any operation but I'm sure you will do fine. We definitely would like you to tell us how the procedure went and how you’re doing.
Hugs,
Jill
Stephen
Congratulations, and thanks for the update! I'm glad it went well for you. What did your doctor say about post operative intercourse and when will you have your sperm tests? Let us know how you're doing, ok?
Good luck,
Jill
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