I'm losing my mind!
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| Mon, 06-28-2004 - 1:07pm |
While this soothed my mind I still felt tense about the whole thing. So I just finished my period for this month (June) and really want to have sex again but I am so scared that my pills are going to fail or something (yes, I could use condoms too but I never had such a good sexual experience as the one time we didn't use a condom). I take my pills at the same time everyday (I even set an alarm clock so I don't forget) but how do you know that they are working? I posted something on this board about 5 months ago and I think that is where my anxiety was born. (Sorry if this is TMI) They said that while on the pill you shouldn't ovulate. Well how do you know if you are ovulating or not? I still get a discharge...does this mean I am ovulating and my pills aren't working? My Gyno said that you actually discharge more when you are on the pill. But how can you tell if your discharge is ovulation discharge or just normal discharge???
So I have had myself all tense the past month that it has thrown my whole system off (i.e. cramps, constipation, diareeha, my stomach make noises when I eat anything) and I still don't feel 100% like myself (granted I feel better now then I did 2 months ago) but I can't convince myself that my pills work. And I am getting frustrated with myself for being silly. My Gyno told me that your body can change and react differently to the pills even if you have been on them for a while. But why aren't any of these thoughts soothing my mind? All I can think about is the stories of women getting pregnant while on the pill and women who got their periods and didn't know that they were pregnant. I have friends who had pregnancy scares because they used no protection and yet as soon as they get their period they feel so much better. Why can't I feel better?
Any advice would be appriciated!
~Katie

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You are being safe and taking all the proper precautions. And I, like you, like to be super safe. Not only do I use BC, I insist on a condom, and on top of that, my BF likes to pull out!! But recently we had a condom slip off and didn't realize til after it was all said and done, and as fate would have it, it was the ONE time i asked him NOT to pull out!!
i freaked, called the gyno, wanted EC- but was talked down realizing that the POINT of BC is to prevent this- and most people only use BC and don't get pregnant.
Having had late periods, and one unplanned pregnancy before, I understand how consuming this stress is- and I would contend that perhaps this consuming stress is causing more of your physical sympoms than anything else.
But perhaps to settle your nerves, have you discussed this concern with your gyno? is a change of BC in order?
I feel the exact some way as you do. I had sex on may 22 and 27th with a condom and he pulled out, then on may 22nd he went in me a little bite and he didnt have a condom on, he was in me for a few seconds not long. i was not on birth control yet. I got my period on june 7th and it was normal, Normal cramping and even Clots Sorry if TMI. I was still worried that i might be preganant so i took a pregnancy test on the night of june 14th and it came out negative. That somewhat made me feel better. i started birth control 2 weeks ago and now im on my third week my breast are tender which is a side effect of the pill and i have been getting headaches. i have been told that this are side effects of the pill and that im not pregnant becasue i got my normal period. Im starting to realize that i dont have to worry. since i had that little scare i have decided not to have sex with my b/f right now, not until i feel comfortable again. I just wanted to tell you that your not the only who has feelings like this. it has happened to me. Dont worry im sure your fine. I hope everything works out for you. if you want to talk feel free im here if you need someone.
Missy
I have been on the pill for almost 5 years! And yet this is the first time I have really had any side effects of the pill (my Fiance thinks the side effects are all in my head). So I guess that my body is changing as I get older. It's funny because the pill is supposed to free women from the worry of getting pregnant and yet I am the complete opposite. All I can think about are the stories you hear about women who get pregnant who weren't expecting it and it makes me think...how? With all the BC methods there are today how does that happen? That's what freaks me out the most: the idea that I am so careful in what I do and yet having something happen even when you are careful. Am I making any sense?
Oh, sweetie, people can drown in bathtubs but that very, very rarely happens! If you are taking your pills correctly then you are very safe. Taken correctly oral contraceptives are 98-99% effective so you really don’t have anything to be concerned about. Most of the women you read or hear about getting pg on the pill were ‘typical use’ cases where they forgot their pill(s) or threw it up or were taking meds that interfered with the effectiveness of their pills.
If you are unable to get the thought of accidental pregnancy out of your mind then something you might want to consider is using a barrier method in addition to your pills, just for peace of mind. A contraceptive sponge (really a spermicide delivery device rather than a true barrier) a diaphragm or cervical cap might be just the thing to relieve your mind and allow you to enjoy the intimacy of latex free intercourse. If you are interested in knowing more about diaphragms or caps take a look at the info. about them in the FAQs on the Board webpage at http://pages.ivillage.com/cl-judie_rae/id1.html Let us know what you decide, ok?
Good luck,
Jill
The mind can defintly play tricks on you and i understand that its not fun, but just think of it has a game that you want to win... Dont let your mind take over the game.
If that makes any sense. That is what i have had to do with myself and im starting to feel much better. Trust me everything will work out and you will be fine.
Also one more thing that has really started to help is i have been bringing my problems to god. im not sure if your religious but if you are you might want to try to talk to him.
I hope this helps Write me back!
Missy
Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a wonderful book. Chart your temperature for a few cycles to reassure yourself that you aren't ovulating.
Good luck,
Jill
I can think of a few things that might help you deal with it.
First, a pill change may be in order, sometimes a pill can increase anxiety problems. if your body is showing other signs of change related to your hormones, the anxiety may be part of that.
don't just dismiss this, or let anyone else dismiss this, as being "all in your head." everything we experience is experienced in our minds as much as the rest of our bodies, and your anxiety is causing very real physical symptoms. and just because you're worrying about "nothing" doesn't mean it's somehow not a valid problem. you made it sound like your SO isn't being 100% supportive and reassuring, but maybe you didn't mean it to come across that way. if he isn't being sensitive or supportive enough, tell him. that's the only way he'll know.
And, you mentioned that you "didn't know" what you'd do if you got pregnant. I think that might be part of the problem. Panicking about "what if" gets worse if you haven't made any plans for the worst case scenario. Why not write down some of your options, should you get pregnant, and then think about each of them. Write down your feelings about each of those options. Then talk about them with your SO. Planning for the worst makes it a lot less scary. It doesn't mean that, heaven forbid you should get pregnant, it'll be easy, but writing everything down, talking about it with your partner, helps get it off your mind.
And, I agree strongly with Jill that an alternative barrier method might be right up your alley in terms of BC backup. Pills alone don't seem to be "physical" enough for you, they have very little proof that they're working if you're not used to your body's signals throughout the cycle. A diaphragm, cap, sponge, or maybe even just some spermicidal film might reassure you and give you back some much-needed confidence.
Lastly, you *never* need to have sex if you're uncomfortable with the potential consequences. I realize it's hard not to give in when faced with a man you love and are attracted to, but if the possibility of being pregnant is too much for you right now, take a break from sex. Please each other in other ways. Oral sex is a great thing, and I'm sure he wouldn't complain. You can't get pregnant, and taking a break from IC will give you time to reduce your anxiety.
I really hope this all gets better for you. Oh yeah, and, a lot of health insurance providers cover therapy sessions, usually 50/year, with a reasonable copay. If you find that you can't control this worry, you might want to consider talking to a professional therapist. They can help you sort all this out and get to the bottom of your problems, then help you solve them.
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