quick question about timing

Avatar for mistressskywalker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
quick question about timing
4
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 6:46pm
Hi all...I am on the third week of my pack, I am on Desogen. Not this past Sunday, but the Sunday before that I went to take my pill and realized that somehow I was only on Saturday's pill. I KNOW I took a pill Friday night and I KNOW I took a pill Saturday night, so I was really confused as to when I missed one. I didn't really know what to do so I just took Saturday and Sunday's pill both at the same time. After that I was very careful to take my pill on time the rest of the week.

Well, this past Saturday I was having sex and even though I TOLD my guy to put on a condom before he came anywhere near me, he just pretended to put one on (my room was pitch black and I'm blind without my contacts) and entered me anyway. He didn't finish inside me, but he was in there for awhile. Now I'm paranoid that something might have happened! I did have seven active pills in a row on time before this encounter, but would the one that I somehow forgot to take have tripped me up? Please help!

Also, I'd like to get some advice on how to get my guy to wear a condom. Whenever I ask him to wear one he always whines and complains so much you'd think I'm asking him to castrate himself. What happened Saturday night really pissed me off because he knows I am totally paranoid about this sort of thing. The other night he actually said, "Oh, you think you're going to get pregnant from just looking at a pregnant woman!" He just doesn't get it. What can I say to him to get him to wear one?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 8:03pm
Hi mistressskywalker, welcome back!

If you had taken your pills correctly for 7 days before he entered you unsheathed then you should be quite safe. I'm sorry your BF so disrespects you that he lied and said he was wearing a condom when he wasn't. If that had happened to me I would have serious issues of trust between us!

"What can I say to him to get him to wear one?"

How about "No glove, no love" and stick to it! If he wants sex he wears a condom, period! It might mean that you have to keep the lights on or at least feel him through the condom before penetration. I think it was one of our Ex-Presidents who said, "Trust but Verify." Let us know how you're doing, ok?

Hugs,

      Jill

    

Avatar for mistressskywalker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 11:53pm
Thanks so much for the reply, it made me feel a lot better. Yeah, I know that was a jerky thing to do...I think in his mind he's convinced that since I'm on the pill and it's 99% effective then we don't need condoms, but he doesn't understand how much more peace of mind it gives me. From now on I am going to make SURE he wears one!

Thanks again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 7:58am
I agree with Jill--if he won't wear a condom, then he can take care of himself! It'd be his responsibility too if you got pregnant, it's not just to be nice, he's LEGALLY responsible and proving paternity isn't too hard if you're only with one guy (which means you have a legal right to child support). Ask him if he wants to be a dad RIGHT NOW.

This kind of thing makes me nuts... My fiance gives me a lot of guff when I want him to wear a condom (so when I'm using antibiotics we just don't have sex), and since we're not fully in agreement on how to handle an unexpected pregnancy...

I don't think men realize just how much of their own future they're putting in the hands of someone else when they abandon their bc decisions to their girlfriends/fiancees/wives. It's very easy to forget to take pills. It's very easy to make a slip up. A guy's ONLY protection for _himself_ is a condom, and I don't get why the momentary pleasure of sex without a condom is even worth that risk.

Hang in there MSW, you're not the only one! And with seven days in a row of active pills on time, you should be good...

Judie
Co-cl for Birth Control
Judie Cl for Birth Control 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 11:09am
I'm SURE your fine since you'd only missed one and did have a full week of proper usage of the pills before this encounter!

As for your man and his condom-aversion- well, either tell him the lights can't be turned out til you see it go on, or quickly slide your hand down there to be sure it's on before he enters you!

But like Judie inferred- perhaps a quick chat about how to handle an unexpected pregnancy just to be sure you're both on the same page is a GREAT idea- that way, should it come up, you'll have a pre-agreed plan of action.

But most importantly, be CERTAIN he understands that while the chances of pregnancy are SLIM, they still do in fact exist!! and respecting your body and his is essential to be in a mutually satisfied, comfortable, healthy and mature relationship. One pregnancy scare and he'll never leave the house wihtout a rubber suit i'm sure, but why go through that!!

GOOD LUCK!


Edited 7/1/2004 11:16 am ET ET by kcbelle

Baby Names - BabyNamey.com Name Badge Ticker