quick question about timing
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| Wed, 06-30-2004 - 6:46pm |
Well, this past Saturday I was having sex and even though I TOLD my guy to put on a condom before he came anywhere near me, he just pretended to put one on (my room was pitch black and I'm blind without my contacts) and entered me anyway. He didn't finish inside me, but he was in there for awhile. Now I'm paranoid that something might have happened! I did have seven active pills in a row on time before this encounter, but would the one that I somehow forgot to take have tripped me up? Please help!
Also, I'd like to get some advice on how to get my guy to wear a condom. Whenever I ask him to wear one he always whines and complains so much you'd think I'm asking him to castrate himself. What happened Saturday night really pissed me off because he knows I am totally paranoid about this sort of thing. The other night he actually said, "Oh, you think you're going to get pregnant from just looking at a pregnant woman!" He just doesn't get it. What can I say to him to get him to wear one?

If you had taken your pills correctly for 7 days before he entered you unsheathed then you should be quite safe. I'm sorry your BF so disrespects you that he lied and said he was wearing a condom when he wasn't. If that had happened to me I would have serious issues of trust between us!
"What can I say to him to get him to wear one?"
How about "No glove, no love" and stick to it! If he wants sex he wears a condom, period! It might mean that you have to keep the lights on or at least feel him through the condom before penetration. I think it was one of our Ex-Presidents who said, "Trust but Verify." Let us know how you're doing, ok?
Hugs,
Jill
Thanks again!
This kind of thing makes me nuts... My fiance gives me a lot of guff when I want him to wear a condom (so when I'm using antibiotics we just don't have sex), and since we're not fully in agreement on how to handle an unexpected pregnancy...
I don't think men realize just how much of their own future they're putting in the hands of someone else when they abandon their bc decisions to their girlfriends/fiancees/wives. It's very easy to forget to take pills. It's very easy to make a slip up. A guy's ONLY protection for _himself_ is a condom, and I don't get why the momentary pleasure of sex without a condom is even worth that risk.
Hang in there MSW, you're not the only one! And with seven days in a row of active pills on time, you should be good...
Co-cl for Birth Control
As for your man and his condom-aversion- well, either tell him the lights can't be turned out til you see it go on, or quickly slide your hand down there to be sure it's on before he enters you!
But like Judie inferred- perhaps a quick chat about how to handle an unexpected pregnancy just to be sure you're both on the same page is a GREAT idea- that way, should it come up, you'll have a pre-agreed plan of action.
But most importantly, be CERTAIN he understands that while the chances of pregnancy are SLIM, they still do in fact exist!! and respecting your body and his is essential to be in a mutually satisfied, comfortable, healthy and mature relationship. One pregnancy scare and he'll never leave the house wihtout a rubber suit i'm sure, but why go through that!!
GOOD LUCK!
Edited 7/1/2004 11:16 am ET ET by kcbelle