Asking Mom about the Pill?
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| Sat, 07-24-2004 - 1:06am |
I wanted to get on the Pill for two reasons: 1. in case anything should ever happen, that way I protected from pregnancy, and 2. my periods are somewhat regular for a few months, and then become sporadical to where I can’t tell when they should start, but after a couple of months, get regular again, then crazy, etc. I also had an ovarian cyst about a year and a half ago, and then another one a few months ago, and I recently read that they help prevent those from happening.
The problem is, I am scared that my mother will think that I am trying to get them in order to have sex. I had planned on going to a Planned Parenthood Clinic locally, but now I am scared if she were to ever find the pills, that she would be more worried/upset/angry with me than if I had talked to her about it before, but I’m not sure if that would really be the case.
My question is, should I talk to her about it myself and explain to her my reasons, or should I just do it alone, for my protection, while running the risk of getting “caught”?
Thanks for your help!
-L
Edited 7/24/2004 1:08 am ET ET by babe0206

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My doctors have been trying to put me on the pill for a long time now for medical reasons.
CL for Acne
You and I are in similar boats. I'm heading into my sophomore year of college, which is about an hour and a half away from my house. In April of my freshmen year (which was just a few months ago...) I went on birth control because my boyfriend and I became sexually active and I wasn't going to risk anything with just condoms. In any case...
I went a few months without telling my mom - mainly because I knew she would freak out (mainly for religious reasons)- even though I thought about telling her many times, just in case she needed to know in case of a medical emergency or whatnot. I finally ended up telling her when I had, in combination, a UTI plus bad side effects from my birth control and I was really worried. So I told her, and things were definitely rough for a while (IE she didn't talk to me for days), but eventually we got back to normal because she realized that it was better for me to have told her than not.
My advice is to tell your mom, but make sure she understands your main reasons for doing it - it's not because you are going to have sex with random guys or whatnot - but for the medical reasons. Be sure to point out that you could have NOT told her and just done it on your own - I think this is one of the factors that really hit my mom. I'd also suggest going to an actual gynocologist; while Planned Parenthood does have doctors, I'm not quite sure how reputable they are. Plus, it's always better to have a regular doctor who knows you and your case history, etc. If your Mom trusts you and you trust her, this should strengthen your relationship instead of hurting it.
Good luck, let me know how it goes!
Goodluck to you, but i feel it is best to tell your mom. I am sooo glad i can talk to her about taking it. (although i know more about the pill than she does... and she still doesn't know i take it because i am sexual active, well i think she has a clue but we've never talked about it) but i can take it without her freaking out. So i think it is best to tell her.
Let us know how it goes!
I almost got up the guts for it today, but I felt sort of bad from a yeast infection I am getting over right now. Tomorrow she and I are going out, so I just hope I can get up the nerve to talk to her about something that I think is pretty serious.
Thanks for all of your advice and help!
-L
Your mom may be upset at first. Explain to her the medical benefits of being on the pill to control your periods. She's a woman, she probably understands what it is like to have crazy periods! You know, she might also be glad that you are being responsible too. I mean, if you are thinking about becoming sexually active, even if it's not for awhile, it's a good idea to protect yourself as best as you can.
Take her with you to the doctor. She doesn't have to come in during the actual exam. Talk to the doctor about everything when you are alone with him/her - including your concern of telling your mom - and you and your doc can discuss it with her together. The doctor will be able to explain all of the medical benefits and probably address a lot of her concern.
Good Luck!
On a side note -- I would advise you to look a little closer at BCP. Search iVillage, and you'll notice many, many complaints about them, and the effects of all those hormones on your body. Personally, I had an awful experience w/ OTC which caused me to gain almost 15 pounds, in addition to an emotional roller coaster and zero sex drive. Everyone is different, and there are some success stories from women who use and love their BC. I just wanted to warn you, and make you aware of some of the potential side effects. Good luck!
My advice is to see your gynocologist - even if you aren't sexually active, at age 20 you should be having a yearly check up anyway. Take to your doctor about the cysts and BC pills. The medication you take is between you and your doctor. Your mom doesn't have to be involved at all.
But above all, you have to do what is right for you. I don't have a close relationship with my mom, and don't desire one. Let us know how it goes..
Melissa
Melissa
<3cari
When I mentioned all of this to her the other day, she warned me of the possible side effects of taking BC. Just as I've read on iVillage and other places, some people have really bad side effects, whereas others love that they have such control over their periods, as well as for the protection from pregnancy.
I just felt as though she would flip out if I even brought it up, that she would instantly think "my daughter has lowered herself to having sex with her boyfriend!" just because that is the way that her brain works. I just feel sometimes as though I am this little girl trapped in the body of a 20-year-old woman who should make my own decisions, and I do. Last week I had already called PP and made an appt that was supposed to be today, my boyfriend was going to go with me in case I was scared, but then she told me to "go see our Dr" not knowing that I had already made an appt at PP, which I cancelled. I just felt as though it was better for us to talk about it that way she wouldn't assume what would be in her idea, "the worst."
My boyfriend also mentions to me all the time about my mother, how she doesn't seem to realize that I AM AN ADULT. She isn't completely naive, but sometimes I think she lives in a fantasy world. I, too, think that if I am responsible enough to want to get contraception, that it should make her proud to know that I'm being smart about things, but, I don't think that is how it would turn out.
Thanks for all of your advice! I'm a little scared about going to the Gyn for the first time, but I keep telling myself that 1. I should have gone 2 years ago, so I'm a baby for not having already gone, and 2. this is for me--this is what I need to do not only for my health but also for my own personal protection. Thanks again to all of you for your awesome help!
-L
If you want to read about another of my mother's crazy antics, go here:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rllongdistan/messages?msg=14967.1
It goes to show that she just wants to know everything about my personal life, even though I don't feel that she should sincce I'm an adult now.
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