Amy's story

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2008
Amy's story
9
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 5:24pm

I'm so glad to be finally posting my arrival story. Boy, what a journey it was to get here. Here is my story...

Last week I was literally shaking in my boots waiting to get my amnio over with. The procedure itself was extremely creepy but really not that painful- just a quick sting. The harder part was waiting 6 hrs for the results. I got the call at 4PM that his lungs were mature and that we were "on" for the scheduled c section the next morning at 0800. You couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I felt like the battle was half over. Naturally I didn't sleep well at all that night. It was a good thing we had to check in at 0530. I couldn't lay in bed any longer. So we get to L&D and the nurses immediately take blood and get me prepped. The IV really hurt. It took 2 tries...I cried partly because of the pain but mostly because the tears have been ready to pop out for a couple of days. My family was there with us and I couldn't hold back the emotions. I just kept thinking "could I really handle coming home without a baby, God for bid it happens again?" 20 minutes before show time I got the dreaded news that we'd have to wait another 1.5 hours because of an emergency c section that just came in. That was brutal having to wait but I kept reminding myself that the poor person who bumped me was probably so scared about her situation (just like me last year). Once it was time to go into the OR the shaking kicked in full blast. The room was freezing and I was terrified. Getting an epidural when you don't have contractions is tough. I clung to the nurse for dear life. Finally when my DH was able to join me I relaxed. The moment became surreal...the pushing & tugging on my mid section and doctors chit chatting about who won the election made me want to go to sleep. Finally we heard the beautiful cry. And lucky for us he cried and cried. WOW, I wish that moment on every one of you pregnant ladies! Once I got to the recovery room my family was there and had already gotten a peak at our baby. This is when I saw my doctor and learned that my uterus had ruptured. The bag of water was the only thing separating me and our baby from disaster. Had we waited another week the outcome could have been fetal. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. When I was contracting at 29 weeks my incision from my prior c section became painful. I asked if this pain was normal. But at the time I wasn't bleeding so there was no way of knowing if I had ruptured. Now I know. How lucky were we that things ended so well? My angel must have been looking out for us. I spent 4 nights in the hospital. I didn't mind the stay at all. I savored the moments when it was just me and my precious baby alone in the room. I could stare at him forever. You spend so much time praying for that moment and here it was. I also love breastfeeding him. The bonding is out of this world. I'm without a doubt in baby heaven.
The day I was discharged was the first time I was hit with grief for my angel son. I was being wheeled past the gift shop on the way out. There was a display of angels in the window. It reminded me of one year ago being wheeled out of the same hospital with my suitcase and a box containing my sons tiny hat, gown, plaster molding of his feet and other things meant to make me feel better. I sat there with red eyes holding that sad box waiting for my DH to pull the car around. Now here I was holding my precious baby and it all became too much. The poor nurse pushing the wheelchair had no idea why I was sobbing. I tried to talk but it was hopeless. I needed to get that out. I hope I always remember my angel...it's because of him that I'm forever changed for the better.
I'm so glad to have found this message board. I felt so alone before and talking about my loss here has been the best healing I could ask for. Thank you for listening and sharing. I wish all of you the best and can't wait to read more arrival stories.
~Amy
Mom to baby Joseph born healthy on 11/05/08 at 37 weeks

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker
Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 5:54pm

Yay Amy!!!


he is so precious! Thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry to hear that your uterus rupted - that is soooo scary! But it ended all well, phew ... Will be the recovery harder now, because of that?


Anyway, enjoy your little blessing and big (((hugs))) and big YAY! :-)


Veronika

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 8:06pm

Joseph is so beautiful!

Mommy to Jackson 9/12/06, Austin 11/26/08, and my beautiful angel Andy 12/29/2007

 

Thank you beccam

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2006
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 8:35pm

Amy,

What a beautiful story! I'm sorry to hear about the ruptured Uterus, but I'm glad you had a good experience otherwise. I completely could have written your story when it came to my daughter. I had her last year (in a different Hospital in a different county) but I also had a c-section and your right.. the anticipation, the room, the CRY! Its so overwhelming. I also cried for my Noah, while in the hospital..thinking about him while my daughter ended up in the nicu. Though she is fine now she had some heart complications and until they could figure it out she was in the nicu for a week. I stayed for a week rooming in, and that whole time it was the same as you "can this happen again" and "can I handle this"? Different circumstances but same emotions, same feelings.

I am beyond thrilled for you, Joseph is handsome as ever! I will be naming my son Liam Joseph (my dh name is Joe)

What a precious little man you have, and he will teach you so much and help you to heal so much when it comes to your angel. I know my daughter has. Its amazing the way it fills part of that hole, though your child is never a replacement.. the mending of your heart begins with a child that breathes and cries and lives after a loss. I still cry for my Noah, but I also am very grateful to my son, because without his loss, I would never have aubrey. They will forever be connected. Its a very special bond you and your angel and Joseph will have forever!

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Photobucket Mama to Gabriel 6 years o
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 8:59pm

Oh Amy, he is just beautiful! I'm so sorry to hear about your uterus though, but wow, what a miracle that you both came through it fine. Huuuge congratulations on your sweet boy, he is just adorable :)


*hugs*


wren

Mama to *Elliott*, born still on May 15, 2007 at 39 weeks


Pregnant with a second boy, *Judah*,

Mama to *Elliott*, born still on May 15, 2007 at 39 weeks

and

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 10:19pm
congratulations amy! what a road we have been down! I an glad we were able to share our pregnancies together. i hope all is well. see you on the parenting boards!
-erica




pregnancy week by week

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2005
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 8:12am
Hi,
Hooray! What a wonderful birth story! I am glad things turned out as wonderful as they did. I don't even want to think about what could have happened!! Enjoy every minute with your little guy!


Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker
Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 9:18am

Oh Amy..

What a beautiful story.. your son is just adorable! How scary about your ruptured uterus.. I'm glad to hear that you got in soon enough. Welcome to the world little one, and many congrats mama ~:)

Lots of Love,

~Jess



new baby

~Jess 
 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 6:24pm

Amy,


your little man is adorable!

Melanie, mom to Alex (b/d 3-9-2008) who she misses with every breath, and Max (b 2-10-2009), whose every breath brings me joy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 9:16pm

What a little cutie and look at all of that hair. I am so happy to hear that Joseph is here safe and sound. I definitely think you two were being watched closely from above.


Your story brought tears to my eyes, because I am remember all too well that same feeling when I brought Sophie home. It almost doesn't seem real or possible to be bringing a baby home instead of a box of memories. The grief for your angel can be overwhelming during the first month, but just remember you have a right to be a happy mommy and that is exactly what our angels want for us. I personally believe they picked out our new blessings especially for us.


Take care and a huge congrats.

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