Update one me and the family
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|Mon, 01-19-2009 - 3:15pm|
Since Wren came to the Parenting after Stillbirth board and asked for updates, and I like Wren so much, here I am LOL.
Probably most of you here don't really "know" me, as I graduated before most of you came here. I lurk all the time though, and I'm sure you've noticed that I sometimes respond to things, though I try to butt out for the most part LOL. It's been 4.5 months since my newest living baby was born, and as scary and sanity-consuming as it was, a part of me wants to be here again soooo bad! Though of course, it's not in our plans. I have to try to convince DH to have another one at all LOL. Hopefully he will be ready in 5 years or so, when I am done with school and am ready myself to try again.
Anyway, so here's my story. I'm 23, gonna be 24 at the end of the month. My first was born screaming in 2/05, after my water prematurely broke and I was induced (I was 34 weeks along.) We were planning to wait a long time before having another baby, but we found ourselves surprised a year later with another pregnancy, which was another boy. That was my son Braedan. That was the most "normal" pregnancy I had, except for the end, though we were extra cautious about my water breaking and having premature contractions, etc. As some of you know, once you have one preemie, you are at a higher risk of having more. We passed by the 34 week mark and all was good. Then I had my 36 week appointment, 11/01/06, baby's heartbeat was good, everything looked "great" according to the doctor, and she told me that if I were to go into labor, they wouldn't try to stop it then. I was ready to go... ready to have the baby. And since my first had been born so much earlier, I felt like I was overdue. Every single day, since I was 34 weeks, I was expecting my water to break or for me to start going into full-blown labor at any time. I'd had lots of painful contractions, but nothing that stayed consistent. Anyway, so the next day I was over at my grandma's house, and she asked me if the baby had been moving alot. I realized then that I hadn't felt him move for awhile, but I didn't freak out because I have a tendency to freak out about alot of things and I made myself stay calm. Plus everyone said, they move less at the end because there isn't as much room, and sometimes they get really "quiet" when you're about to go into labor. I went to bed that night, and still felt nothing. Again, I thought, stay calm. I was sure I would go to sleep and by the time I woke up in the morning, I would have felt some reassuring movements. Morning came, and still nothing. So I call the doctor and they say to go to L&D immediately. We get there, and well, you all know how it goes. Searching for the heartbeat, more franticly searching for the heartbeat, trying a different machine, trying a different nurse, and finally the ultrasound. The "I'm sorry", followed by the cruel extra ultrasound by someone else