Tubal vs. Vasectomy question
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| Sun, 11-21-2004 - 7:31pm |
Hi everyone! I was wondering if you could all help me with something. DH and I have a 3 y.o. DS, and we have lost two other babies. We aren't willing to try again and so our DS will be an only. Our situation (or really MY situation right now) is whether to have one of us get something permanently done. I have read a few websites about the pros and cons of both procedures, and I'm feeling like DH should do it because I've been through enough already! I don't want to go on the pill because I was on it when we first got married and it caused me to get very painful ovarian cysts. I hate condoms and I don't trust IUD's and other forms of BC. So really since we're not planning to have more kids, a permanent thing seems the best thing. I just don't know anyone who has had either procedure done so I'm sort of clueless. I have read that vasectomies can actually reverse themselves, which doesn't make me real happy! Any information anyone can give me would be most appreciated. Thanks,
Nancy

You should look into Essure (www.essure.com). It's a non surgical form of permanent bc. It's fairly new, but most of what i heard about it is good. Anyways, Good Luck!
Allison
You mention that you're feeling like your husband should be the one to go through getting sterilized since you've been through a lot already. How does he feel about the idea? If he's not enthusiastic about getting one, there's a much higher chance he could end up regretting it later, especially if he's one of the unlucky ones who ends up with post vasectomy pain syndrome. He needs to be positive that he never wants another child no matter what happens in his life in the future.
The Essure method of sterilization for women is non-surgical, and that might be a good option since you don't mention anything about his willingness to get a vasectomy. Since it's non-surgical, it doesn't have the extra risks involved in a tubal ligation, and it's also more effective than a tubal.
The Mirena IUD might also be a good choice. It has the very same effectiveness as a vasectomy, 99.9%, and makes periods much lighter. I have this myself, and can't recommend it highly enough.
Going with that might also be better since you sound like the only reason you want a sterilization is that you're looking for something you would trust. Saying you're not planning on more children isn't the same thing as saying that you're both absolutely positive that you would never ever want to try again under any circumstances. Reversal of sterilization if you change your mind later is expensive and not guaranteed to work.
I probably should have been more specific then...we don't want to get pregnant again! We always thought we'd have more kids but it didn't work out and we are too afraid to try again. Besides the risk factors we have due to the losses, I have a higher risk for m/c as well. It may sound like a mixed message, but the bottom line is that we do not want to risk pregnancy under any circumstances. I have never heard of Essure, I will check it out. Thanks for the info...DH really hasn't said one way or the other about a vas, but it doesn't seem 100% foolproof so it probably wouldn't be the best option for us. Thanks again,
Nancy
To be honest, neither tubal nor vas are foolproof. There are women who have tubals that "grow back together" just like there are men who do, too. Your best bet for either would be to get someone to do it that has done quite a few and has a really good idea of what`s going on. And it never hurts to get your surgeries checked up every once in a while, to see if there is an re-growth that could lead to pregnancy.
Just to illustrate my point, the parents of my friend, after having a houseful of kids, decided that they didn`t want anymore. The wife had a tubal after their last child...was pregnant within a year. So the husband got a vasectomy. They ended up pregnant again after the tubal baby was born and stopped nursing. So, even with a tubal and a vasectomy, they still got pregnant. Now I`m not trying to scare you because this is an extremely rare happening for these poor guys. Well, they love their quite expanded household but I believe are going to get their surgeries re-done by people with more experience in the field.
I know BC isn't foolproof but WOW!!!!!! That is quite a story! My OBGYN has been practicing for a long time and I totally trust her...so I would feel confident going to her. But your story definitely makes me think. Yikes!
Nancy