Age to Consider Vasectomy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2001
Age to Consider Vasectomy
8
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 6:18pm

I was wondering at what age a man should consider vasectomy?

When I was 20, I *SO* wanted a vasectomy. I was positive that parenting was not for me. But I was afraid to approach my father for help...I could not have paid for it.

I finally had it done in my late 30's. After I had two kids.

I've been asking myself this question for some time now...what will I do if one of my two kids grows up and asks, "Dad...I'm positive I never wants kids...can you help be get a tubal/vasectomy?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 8:54pm

If your child was so young that they would have to ask you for assistance, then they're probably too young to even get a doctor to perform a sterilization on them.

There are some people who know at a young age that they don't want children and never change their mind, but enough do change their minds later that it might be wise to suggest they use more than one reliable method of birth control in the meantime and then make sure they have adequate time to consider their decision. You yourself wanted a vasectomy at the age of 20 and then later went on to change your mind and have children. If you'd had a vasectomy and then years later wanted children, it's not always so easy to reverse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 10:37pm

I'm 22, and really wish people would be more understanding about the issue. I've been asking for some form of permanent birth control since my first ob/gyn visit at 16. I knew they wouldn't do it that early, but I felt I should go ahead and start my track record, lol. I would not need my mother's financial support to have a procedure.

For men I can imagine it's espcially frustrating since birth control options are very limited, and men can not veto a women's decision in terms of keeping a child.

I think the age is different for everyone, and it's frustrating living in a society that tells you you can't have a procedure because you are essentially not capable of making your own decisions. But considering it would be an elective procedure, I can not imagine asking my mother for financial support, and I doubt she would offer it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 2:34pm

I don't think there is one right age for everyone in making a permanent decision like this.

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2006
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 10:44am
I first want to say that you are a real man! And a responsible one too. I think that if a person is sure they don't want kids, they should get fixed, man or woman. I feel it's responsible and will spare many people from unplanned pregnancy. I get frustrated with people have sex and wonder how they got pregnant. Before my hubby had his vasectomy-I always knew that even with birth control that there was always that posibility.I read an article that stated that coupls will get pregnant at least once in thir lifetime while using birth control properly. That is why when we decided to not have anymore kids he had his vasectomy. I would,ve had my tubes tied if I would've had a c-section. It just would've made sense. I say there is nothing wrong with a man having a vasectomy if he doesn't want kids.
To a good Dad,
Amy
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 6:14pm
I'd tell the kid to wait awhile before making any permanent decisions and to use good birth control in the mean time. By then, the pill for men should be availible, so both men and women will have effective birth control methods at their disposal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 7:07pm

I'm curious, what changed your mind about wanting kids? And at your age now, what made you think you didn't want kids back then? Was it the fact that you wanted to play around (have sex) without worrying about getting someone pregnant? (I know for me, that was a reason).


I didn't want kids since I was young, but since everyone said just wait, you'll wnat them, I did. And now that I'm 31, I still dont want kids. I had a TL about two years ago.


If my kid (or neice/nephew) said they didn't want any kids, I'd tell them, "I will help you pay for contraception until you can afford to pay for it yourself. That way, it's 100% your own decision, w/o feeling obligated/pressure/etc from me, the moneyholder"


And if they change their mind, they can adopt. If they REALLY want their own kid, but can't (reversal doesn't work), well, that's life, welcome to making decisions when you're young. If they never change their mind. Great.


So, at 29, was I too young? Even though I've known I've NEVER wanted kids since I was 13? Maybe younger?




iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2005
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 7:53pm

Of course, the irony is that many people in their 20's decide to *have* children, which is actually a much more permanent decision. If you have a vas or TL, you can always adopt or attempt a reversal. If you have kids, you can't really give them away. (Well, you could, but you'd be a social pariah!)

Permanent steralization should only be undertaken after serious consideration, but it should be available for anyone over 18, male or female, who chooses it.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 4:10pm
The other consideration is finding a doctor that would perform it. I had a friend in high school, her and her boyfriend got pregnant their senior year. They got married, had the child, and when she delivered their son she told the doctor she wanted a tubal because they had discussed it and they did not ever want anymore children. The doctor refused to do it and said that 18 was too young to decide something like that. Fast forward 8 years later when she was 26 and she had her tubal done. They are still very happily married, do not have any other kids, and do not want anymore. They knew what they wanted, they make the decision and more than one doctor turned them down saying they were too young to make that decision. I think its honestly is another example of our rights being taken away that even after we turn 18, we cannot decide for ourselves what to do without bodies. If we are old enough to vote, smoke cigerretes, go off to war, and at 21 drink, why can't we decide to have the procedures done?
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