please help!!!
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please help!!!
| Tue, 08-15-2006 - 2:15am |
ok... i have just recelty started the pill... 8 days after i started the pill i had sex will my boyfriend.. and he cam innside of me and yea whatever... well we have had sex everyday since then.. and i was just wondering if there is a chance that i could be pregnate... like as if when we had sex.. and the pill haden't kickerd in yet.. should i take a pregnacey test..? if i do take one will it come up positive just because i just started the pill and since its rticking my body and tellin it im pregnate..? or if i take it and it comes up positive am i pregnate? lol iam all confused and kinda scared that i am pregnate! please help!!

Hey there,
I can tell by your writing, that you're obviously a nervous wreck!
Now, I am on ortho-tricyclen, and according to my package insert, if you started the pill (white active pill) the first 24 hours of your period, then you should be protected. BUT if you took it on the "Sunday Start" option (which means you took the 1st pill the Sunday after your period started), then you were supposed to use a backup method of birth control, although you said you started having sex on the 8th day, which is beyond/past the time you were supposed to use a backup method (but that IS cutting it close, so I honestly don't know what your chances are).
There is always a chance of pregnancy, and it goes up if you (a) start having sex the 1st week and started your pill-taking on the Sunday after your period started, (b) you don't take your pill on time, or (c) miss a pill outright/altogether. Taking antibiotics can decrease your pill's effectiveness, too.
So, which pill are you on? Read your insert carefully, and think back to the method you chose: The 1st Day Method or the Sunday Method (if that applies to your pill)?
Either way, I'd wait for your next period, and if it doesn't come, then purchase a pregnancy test. Taking it too soon might provide a false negative, so that won't help you.
Regardless, try to get your man to use condoms. I know a lot of people don't, but he should take some responsibility for preventing pregnancy; afterall, BOTH of you are involved in the sexual act, so both should be involved in protection! This will save you the scares you might come across in the future, if you forget your pill, etc., which commonly occurs with women over time of usage.
Another resort is Emergency Contraceptive. Taken within 72 hours (up to five days, actually, but the first 72 hours it is most effective), it can prevent pregnancy (not 100%, but it sure raises your chances of NOT becoming pregnant). If you're that scared, then run to Planned Parenthood and purchase some. It's quick, easy and will put your mind at ease. I know it has for me in the past. After 15 years of being on the pill, I've had my slip-ups (naturally, being human), so take advantage of the options out there...but do also take advantage of your power as a woman to enforce your man to do his end of it all in the future. Might save you a pregnancy one day (or STD). Remember, you have the power, girl, so put your foot down with your man. If you get pregnant, you're the one that has to deal with all the BS--not HIM. So, utilize your power.
Good Luck and let us know what happens!
Edited 8/15/2006 2:59 am ET by shadowsofamn
Hi again Andrea,
Ok, let's sort this out. How long ago did all this occur? You may have written that in your first post, but I don't recall...Obviously, EC is out of the question, then. The fact that your were taking antibiotics IS a major factor in all this. It can reduce your pill's effectiveness around 50%, I believe.
But don't panic. Your weight gain, first of all, can easily be due to your starting the pill. I know I gained some weight being on it. Remember that the pill causes your body to result in a pseudo-pregnancy, in the sense that it "thinks" it's pregnant, so gaining weight comes naturally for a lot of women.
I would wait to at least see if your period comes the following month. Then, if it does not, and you start to feel odd (tender breasts, tiredness, etc.), then for sure get a pregnancy test. I've been in that predicament a few times, and I would always make sure to buy the "dual pack." It's always good to keep an extra on hand, just in case.
If it comes out negative, but you still don't get your period after another week, then try the 2nd test. But keeping taking your pill regularly. If you stop it, your period will become MORE screwed up, hence relying on it to see if you're pregnant will become ineffective and unreliable.
As for how to tell your parents...Well, let's take things one step at a time, hun. I know you're panicking, and I don't blame you. But if God gets you to it, He'll bring you THROUGH it. I've been in your situation, although not at that age, but scared no differently.
In my opinion, it's natural to tell the mother first, not only because, in your case, you're closer to your mom, but also because she is the same sex parent, so your tie-in with her is much greater. She will have the biggest affect and support, on/for you. Plus, her being a mom, she knows what it's like to be pregnant. I don't care who's been pregnant, it is scary. My mom was scared out of her mind, even though she waited until she was married to get pregnant! So, remember that your mom might be mad and hurt and scared for you, but she will, in the end, BE THERE FOR YOU. You are her daughter, afterall. My God, her love will be unconditional. I don't judge you one bit, and I don't even know you...so imagine your mom's position! You're her flesh and blood, girl!
As for your dad, I don't know your connection with him and how well you get along with him. I personally didn't have a close relationship with my father. I think it's best to have your mom talk to your dad, because your mom can deal with him on that adult level, and she has the experience and know-how to know what to say/do to keep him in a rational standing on it.
Can your boyfriend get in trouble? Yes. But it also depends on your parents, and if they chose to press charges. It also depends on your state's laws. Each state is different. I do know of a lot of people who have gotten pregnant with someone a few years older (and, let's face it, a few years in age difference IS typical for couples), and because that older person was "technically" an adult (although I feel 18 can be argued as to whether people are considered an adult or not), the "adult" got in trouble. But I also know of many who never get in trouble. I personally think it's a greay area, and I am not on this site to argue such a controversial thing. I personally don't judge the situation, and see a few years' age difference as healthy and normal and typical.
But dealing with a guy who is just a few years older, BUT during the teen years, IS a big deal, in the eyes of many, and the eyes of the law. The reason for that is because humans grow up at an accelerated rate their teen years. And, worse, men are VERY hormonal in their late teens. You couple that fact with the fact that teen girls are dying to be accepted and are curious, well, you end up with lots of unwanted pregnancies and absent fathers. This is why the laws were made, to supposedly protect you from being in the position you're in, because the law thinks and is convinced that you are too young to make rational decisions about such adult issues, and someone at a horny age (i.e., your boyfriend) is technically an adult, and needs to prove such through making rational decisions, such as avoiding sex with someone he knows isn't mature enough to know better, especially sexually.
ANYWAY, that said (and I was just being the messenger, so don't shoot me--lol), I can't answer whether your beau will get busted or not. Your father will probably be angry, naturally, but do you blame him? Keep an open mind, and don't argue with him. In other words, don't treat him as if he has no right to freak out, protect you, and feel some disappointment. Remember that disappointment is actually a compliment in disguise; it means he expects high standards from you because he thinks you're a great person with a good head on her shoulders. So, in a way, someone who is disappointed is someone who loves you and admires you and thinks highly of you, so it's surprising to that person to see a mistake of that magnitude occur.
But, in your defense, you're human, and you're a teen who was curious and has the normal, understandable need to explore.
Let us focus, for now, on whether you're even pregnant or not, first. THEN we'll take it from there, ok? You can privately email me at this point, if you'd like. I was going to do that with this response, but wanted to make sure anyone else in this situation, would get my opinion/advice, too.
You're going to be OK, and, just so you know, you have options if you are pregnant. But let's find out first if you even are.
Keep me posted, hun.
First I wanted to respond to your question about the pregnancy test. Even though your body "thinks" it's pregnant from the pill, a pregnancy test only tests for a hormone that is released when you are actually pregnant (it's a placental hormone, so it is not even created when you are taking the pill).
Also, I understand that you don't want to make your boyfriend use a condom -- and trust me, most girls have been there because condoms are a pain in the ass. But they are very effective when paired with oral contraceptives, and I'm sorry your boyfriend doesn't like using them, but maybe then you should stop having sex until you get your period. Would you rather him have a couple of orgasms and get you pregnant, or hold of a little bit until you resolve all of this? Unfortunately, I don't think it's an excuse at all for you to say you want to be fair to him. Even if he sticks with you, you're the one who is going to have the really unfair situation if you get pregnant. Let him take a little responsibility for the moment -- so far you've taken all the responsibility by going on the pill.
Another option to consider using is spermicide (in film or foam, etc) as a back up method -- especially if you are still having sex right now. Keep in mind, though, that spermicides are not as effective as condoms (and personally, I would use both, as I did before I started the pill).
The first thing I would do if I were you, is call my doctor, or go to planned parenthood (basically whereever you got the prescription for the pills), and ask them their opinion. When you started the antibiotics, did your doctor ask you if you were on birth control? Or, if you started the pill after the antibiotics, did your doctor make a note of what you were on? Most antibiotics do inhibit the effectiveness of birth control, so you may just want to call a doctor and tell them the pill you're on, and the name of the antibiotic, and ask about the drug interaction. Sometimes, there is nothing to worry about, and it might just put your mind at ease.
If you are worried that talking to your doctor is going to somehow get back to your parents, don't worry. They are not allowed to tell your parents if you don't want to (the only way a parent might find out is if the bcp shows up on the insurance...). If you're really uncomfortable talking to a doctor, google the name of the antibiotic. Do something like, "penicillin and birth control effectiveness" or something...
Good luck. I hope this all works out for you.
some links to look at:
http://www.gpnotebook.co.uk/cache/1483407432.htm
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/birthcontrolandcontraception/207400.html
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0630.html