I'm scared to let him finish!
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I'm scared to let him finish!
| Sat, 09-02-2006 - 12:13pm |
I have been with my boyfriend over 6 years, we are monogomous, STD free, and I have been on yasmin for 7 months. I take it regularly within an hour or so nightly. We do not use another method of BC. We have always pulled out, but he wants to ejaculate inside me.
I am so scared to do this because we have never done it before. He keeps pressuring me because he says that is what BC pills are for, to prevent pregnancy. But I have several friends who are also on the pill and have gotten pregnant.
What should I say, or should I just let him finish inside me???
When should I definately not let him go inside me, and is any other time going to be okay?
I am so scared to do this because we have never done it before. He keeps pressuring me because he says that is what BC pills are for, to prevent pregnancy. But I have several friends who are also on the pill and have gotten pregnant.
What should I say, or should I just let him finish inside me???
When should I definately not let him go inside me, and is any other time going to be okay?

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If you take your pills properly, i.e., on time, use back up with antibiotics and after vomiting and diarrhoea, don't miss any pills) you will be very well protected.
I've been on birth control for almost 10 years (all with the same man) and we haven't ever felt a need for withdrawal.
Hi,
Delurking to put in my $0.02 worth. I guess I probably differ from the others. I largely agree with what they're saying . . . the whole point of you being on the Pill is so the two of you can experience that special moment of togetherness that happens when he releases inside you. And of course it feels especially good for him if you allow him to stay inside as he reaches orgasm, not only physically but mentally--when he pulls out he's fighting evolution, which is telling him to be as deeply inside you as he can be when he ejaculates (precisely because that's how he'll make you pregnant).
BUT, having said that, whenever I hear that a guy is pressuring a woman to do something, especially in the sex department, it bothers me. Even if the guy is somebody you love and have been with a long time. If you're uncomfortable with him releasing inside you, then his pushing you, even if he's polite/respectful about it, is unfair to you, and it isn't going to make you feel any better. It may even make you enjoy sex less if you're worried about pregnancy, and all the logic in the world won't change that. It ain't going to be a "special moment of togethernes" if you're thinking "Oh my God, this might make me pregnant!" just as he's blissfully releasing inside you. And even if you use the Pill perfectly, it still isn't a guarantee. Highly reliable yes; 100% no. So my advice is if the idea makes you uncomfortable, for whatever reason, then go with your instinct and don't let him.
delurking here, because i had to say 1) i agree that if he's pressuring you, that's not cool. you have to be comfortable, first and foremost...and if you're worried and nervous, sex is going to be a whole lot less fun, which kind of defeats the purpose.
but 2) the point of birth control is to keep you from getting pregnant. now, no, it's not 100% effective, but if you're as concerned with getting pregnant as you seem to be, i'm guessing you're pretty religious about taking your pills responsibly and on time. and, as other posters have pointed out, usually (and no, not always, but usually) when birth control doesn't work is when women don't a) take it responsibly or b) do something to negatively influence its effectiveness (i.e. take antibiotics). but, if you've been on the pill for a while, and it's effectively regulating your periods, I would say it's pretty safe to say it's effectively controlling your ovulation and doing what it's supposed to and you will probably be just fine.
and, don't forget, there's a reason we don't all use withdrawl as means of birth control -- it usually doesn't work. pre-cum and all of that. so, if you're having sex at all, and you're not using a condom, well, you're taking a risk. even if you *are* using a condom. there's always a chance. but birth control pills are usually pretty effective...and if you haven't gotten pregnant yet, i would say they're working. like i said, withdrawl is not known to be a particularly reliable or effective means of birth control.
and just one more thought, if you're constantly worrying about him pulling out, well, that right there can be a distraction that can detract from the fun of sex. you're taking birth control for a reason, and really there's nothing quite so nice as that moment when he coming inside you and you know he wants to be as deep as he can get and that's exactly where you want him. just that thought has made me orgasm at that moment more than once.
I'm thinking if you're going to be on hormones, you need to be able to count on them. Are there other issues here??
Would you feel better using a spermicide at the same time?
Will hormonal b c there isn't a "good time" because you shouldn't ever be ovulating.
Also, talk to your doctor.
Hello!
I have a little concern for myself and reading through this thread sort of helped but now I have a little more curiosity..you said:
"but if you are constantly changing your time on a daily basis, i.e. one day take is an hour or so earlier than normal, then the next day an hour or so later, then over time you *may* not be quite as well protected."
This concerns me now because I've missed a pill once a few months ago, and like last night I took my pill about 3 minutes early, I've never taken it an hour early before, and tonight I took it 45 minutes early. I know that's still within the time frame but should I still worry? I should still be fully protected right? I usually *always* take my pill at 9 pm every night, and when I'm supposed to be on my period it doesn't come until about the 3rd to 4th day on my placebos and only lasts about 4 days, so I take it as my body is reacting to the pill well and is staying protected if it takes that long for my body to realize I'm not taking the active pills that weak.
As you are really good at taking your pills on time normally, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Taking your pill 3 minutes early won't have done anything (the difference is so small as to be completely negligible, and 45 minutes early the next day shouldn't have any effect, as you are within the two hour window of your normal time.
The reason I said what I did was because you are considered "on time" within two hours either side of your normal time. So say you took your pill two hours earlier than normal one day, and then two hours later than normal the next, that's actually a time difference of 28 hours between the two days, as opposed to 24 hours. That would be like taking your pill on time one day, and then the next day forgetting to take it until four hours later than normal - see what I'm trying to say?
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