first time birth control

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
first time birth control
7
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 6:57pm
hi everyone-
my boyfriend of a year and a half and i have been discussing the idea of sex between the two of us. nothing is imminent, but our primary concern and what's been holding us back is pregnancy...if we do decide to have sex, we would definitely use a condom, but i also want another method of birth control. does anyone know of good options for a virgin to use besides hormonal methods like the pill/patch/shot, etc? though i know they can be very effective, but i have heard varying reports on their side effects and don't want to subject my body to that at this point, espescially since i don't know how often i might have intercourse. does anyone have experience with using the sponge or a diaphragm, or might that be too difficult for a virgin to insert correctly? im 18 by the way, if body type/age might influence any choices...thank you for your help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 10:21pm

If you're not sure how things are going to go, the easiest thing to do is use a condom and spermicide. Besides getting any escapees if the condom breaks, the spermicide also helps to act as a lubricant and reduces the likelihood of condom breakage. You can buy spermicides in the same part of the drugstore that you buy condoms, whether you use film, foam, or gel is up to you. I've used only gels, specifically Conceptrol gel in prefilled applicators, and I find it to be really easy to use. Insert an applicator before sex (like using a tampon, the gel stays in reasonably well) and that's all there is to it. The film can be hard to use, as it dissolves with moisture and you have to place it directly over the end of your cervix.

Spermicide is only about 85% effective when used alone, so I'd recommend always using a condom with it. The sponge is a more expensive version of the spermicides I mentioned above and it isn't any more effective.

Another thing, about condoms--make sure you're buying good quality condoms from name brands. Store them in a cool dark place and keep them away from heat and light. Be very careful when you open the package not to tear the condom. Also check the expiration date to make sure they're not expired--latex deteriorates over time and with exposure to heat and light. To help prevent breakage, also make sure that you leave enough room in the end of the condom for him to ejaculate. My husband pinches the end between the thumb and first finger on his left hand as he's rolling it down with his right so he's got a good 1/2" gap at the end.

Latex also deteriorates when exposed to oily substances, so make sure that anything coming in contact with the condom is water-based. No using baby oil or vegetable oil or petroleum jelly for lubricants, and be very cautious with yeast infection treatments--those creams are in an oil base. If you find that you need a lubricant (there's no shame in it!), water-based lubricants specifically for sexual use are also found with the condoms and spermicides. Astroglide and KY Liquid (plain, no warming or flavoring) are pretty commonly available and they work well, I've used both.

Good luck! I didn't start on birth control until after I'd been having sex for about five years. If you're not ready, don't worry about it. Condoms are very effective when used properly, and with spermicide the effectiveness of the two together is almost as good as the pill used perfectly.

Judie
Co-cl for Birth Control
Judie Cl for Birth Control 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 11:41am

Hey Judie,

I have a couple of quick questions about spermicides, so I thought I'd ask since you mentioned them.

1) My boyfriend and I are long distance; we'll be together again for the summer. However, this summer I'll be away from home and it will be very difficult for me to get medical care if I need it. My first question is whether or not there is a way for me to test whether or not I am allergic to spermicide before I am with him this summer; while I'm here at school, I could go to the student health center if I have an allergic reaction and I would know that I shouldn't use it.

2)I have heard/read some things about women contracting UTI's from using spermicides. Is this a common side effect? If so, are there factors that increase a woman's liklihood of getting them? And finally, would there be things I could do to cut down on my risk of gettng one from using spermicide?

I appreciate any thoughts you can offer. Thanks!

~Elizabeth

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 5:14pm

Hi fsb567, welcome back!


      Jill

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 5:51pm

We have just gone over birth control options in my college sexual health class. While some woman may not be "allergic" to spermicide, they can be sensitive to it cause symptoms similar to a UTI. That happened to me with just a spermicide condom. Also, in some woman, spermicide can cause microscopic tears that can increase risk of STDs. So while it works great for some woman, it is not best for all, and there should be a degree of trust that your partner does not have an STD.

I will probably repost this to the original poster with some more info, but I just wanted to throw this info over to you also. Spermicide can work great, just be aware that there is a higher risk of infection from them in some woman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 5:57pm

I have been hearing good things about the ring, but that is hormonal. If I was able to have estrogen, I would give it a try. It seems very convienant, and is a low level of hormones.

I did fine for years on just condoms, and then had some not great experiences trying hormonal BC options. With the type of migranes i get, they are just not appropriate for me, so don't be scared off of them. The pill is a great option if you can find one that works for you, plus there can be some added benefits and it can be extremely cost effective. There are many different pills, and it really is all about finding the one that is right for you.

I would stay away from the patch, and I have had terrible experiences with depo, and since there is the bone loss debate, it is grouped in with the patch as not the best option to start with group.

Condoms have once again become the main form of BC for me, and with 5 years of sexual experience, so far no pregancys. Condoms can be extrememly effective if use them correctly. Also latex condoms are good at protecting you from STDs. Manby common STDs may have no symptoms in men despite being effective, so you can't always tell, and you want to be safe.

We have just gone over birth control options in my college sexual health class. While some woman may not be "allergic" to spermicide, they can be sensitive to it cause symptoms similar to a UTI. That happened to me with just a spermicide condom. Also, in some woman, spermicide can cause microscopic tears that can increase risk of STDs. So while it works great for some woman, it is not best for all, and there should be a degree of trust that your partner does not have an STD.

Good luck on your search!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 9:15pm

Hey Jill,

I just wanted to take a minute to thank you (and all other posters) and Judie for all of your help. I love my mother, and have a good (yet rather complicated) relationship with her; it would be very difficult for me to ask her about these things. This board is among one of my best and most helpful resources for my questions. (Of course, before making any dramatic change, I would contact my doctor first.) But the point is, I truly appreciate having a support system of women who can impart their knowledge and experiences about these important issues.

Thank you so much!

~Elizabeth

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 9:43pm

Hi Elizabeth,


      Jill