I have been shuuuunnnnned!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
I have been shuuuunnnnned!!!
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 6:28pm

Ok, so I started a Facebook page at the request of some of my friends and things were fun for a while, until that goofy "25 random things about me" note started going around. I have 2 friends in particular who tagged me in a note and they were going on and on about how they are good Christians and they go to church and they volunteer for this and that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 8:09pm

I have been shunned before.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2006
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 8:15pm

That is a great response.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 8:51pm
I love that response. Although, I may never get a chance to use it
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 9:16pm

eugh, i cannot believe that people would say that about someone dealing with a horrible illness.

I thought the whole deal with christianity in particular was forgiveness!

there are some people in my past that i never want to see/speak to/hear about etc again, but not for one second would I wish something so horrible on them!

I'd be shunning them!




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2007
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 2:55am
I wonder if they thought that would work. Like they really expected you, in the middle of that meeting, to jump up and say, "WOW! You guys are SO much happier than I am. Help me be JUST LIKE YOU! Tell me more about this Jesus guy and how he can make my life better!"
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2008
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 8:34am

Many years ago I had two acquaintances. One guy, one girl, neither were what I would call friends to me, but they were inseparably close together since like kindergarten.

On day during the guy's senior year of high school it got out he was gay. He went to his best friends house crying his eyes out and she pretty much told him he was going to hell and she wanted nothing more to do with him because they couldn't be friends in the afterlife. Years later, she sent him a letter which basically said she hopes he is doing well, repenting for his sins, praying to Jesus and turning away from the gay lifestyle.

He told me nobody ever hurt him so much in his life.

The strange thing is, this girl was a Preacher's Kid and not totally innocent. I smoked pot with her once. Apparently that isn't a sin though. I didn't keep in contact with her, but I heard she became extremely fundamentalist after high school (even more son than she was then).

My advice is to forget these friends. They aren't 'true' friends if they can shun you so easily. Why be friends with people who don't respect you or your beliefs?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 8:49am

I am sorry for your situation but they really are not true friends are they?
My question would have been, what about the babies and small children who face terrible events and illness in their young lives. What evil think did they do that they had to pay the price for?

How I hate judgmental people, Shouldn't they be judged for that?


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 4:29pm
You are all so right!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2006
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 5:29pm

Aw Geez. It's hard.
I, too, have been in the place (several times) where spending time with friends left me feeling awful inside. Hurt, angry, shaken, confused. And you think and think and think about ways to preserve those friendships, not realizing that those friends are already gone some how. They have already left you. In fact, they are not the person they once were. They went the direction that they needed to go. Leaving more than just me behind...
I've been there. I'm sorry for the tough decision.
I can honestly say, in my case, I have never regretted letting go of those hurtful friendships. Just regretting the need to do it. Kind of regretting how life really moves on! Then again...YAY! Life moves on!
We have THIS life. THIS one in which to make our choices and live with them. I say we take good care of ourselves and our loved ones when we need to!

HUGS to you and to all people who are faced with these toughies.


P.S. I still care about those friendships that I left, and that they left, behind. You can maintain your love for a person without having to beat your head against the wall.

Edited 2/19/2009 5:31 pm ET by imshooshy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2008
Sun, 02-22-2009 - 8:44pm

I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I've left my share of friends behind, though none for religious differences; we just grew apart. It's a part of life.

It's pretty much like you've come to realize: if they can't accept you for who you are, they aren't your friends. Your life is more peaceful without their preaching, trust me.

Thanks to Lisa (wrangler_angel) for the awesome Siggy!

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