HELP! Ex-MIL wants dd to go to church!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
HELP! Ex-MIL wants dd to go to church!
Mon, 02-23-2009 - 9:35am

My 11 y.o. dd told me that her grandmother is pressuring her to go to church. She really doesn't want to go but she doesn't know how to handle it and neither do I. My ex(we have a VERY estranged relationship) is also an atheist but he would probably make my dd go just to despite me, kwim? I have absolutely NO contact with his mother so I cannot discuss it with her. And unfortunately when my dd is with her dad I don't have any say as far as what she can do? Any advice?


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
Mon, 02-23-2009 - 11:42am

Wow, that's a tough situation. Bottom line is your DD doesn't want to go. I think you should tell your DD that it's OK for her to tell ex-MIL she doesn't want to and it's her choice.

However, I think you should pick your battles. If this is a battle you want to fight, then fight it! But, maybe DD can pacify ex-MIL and go every once in a while. I suck it up and go with my MIL every once in a while, but I also make it quite clear what my beliefs are.

Good luck!

I Make Milk
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2006
Mon, 02-23-2009 - 9:09pm

GRRRR...I get so angry when adults put that kind of pressure on kids! It's an unfair power play.

As for advice, trust her. Your daughter, I mean.
Ask her how she wants to handle it, in a perfect world where you and she could say anything that you/she felt. What would she WANT to say. How would she WANT to handle it?

Then do that.

If she, somehow, gets forced to go, she will be learning ALOT about religious-fervor behavior. A good lesson, unintended by her grandmother.

Also, a good conversation starter!

But, I'm with you, I hope you can keep her OUT of those places!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2006
Mon, 02-23-2009 - 11:16pm

I agree that your DD should be the one to tell he grandmother she doesn't want to go.

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