That's a tough one. They truly feel your potential child will go to hell if not "saved" or have belief. I can imagine how scary and sad that feels to them.
I think, when you and your DH come to a decision on having a baby, you should sit them down and lay out the rules. Or heck, do that even before you decide. Let them know where you stand and how you expect them to handle the situation.
If you're comfortable with it, tell them when the child is old enough to choose you'll let him/her attend their church - along with other religions. Maybe it will help them feel better about it and thus not go behind your back and try to instill some belief.
Good luck TTC when the time comes!
Oh, and just a thought on the population and where will the world be idea, I agree with you to a point. I worry about where we're heading and what my children will have to deal with and how much of our crap they'll have to clean up. but I that's why I had kids, so I can teach them better and they'll be ready to clean up our mess and begin creating a world we would be proud of. :)
Yeah, I can totally understand. I'm sorry she said that to you. She shouldn't have said that outloud. :/ Have you read "Parenting Beyond Belief"? I've just started it and don't know if that's what would work, but it's worth a check into. It's a compilation of essays from famous and infamous people, from Richard Dawkins to religious figures. good luck!
It seems to me that, considering the closeness between you, it will have to be an ongoing dialogue. An ongoing life lesson.
And, "Ouch". That hurt. And I'm sure she really meant it at the time. It just goes to show you how much she has to learn about what real love is and how beautiful it is in a child!
Kind and thinking parents are the best kind, you know!
Here's hoping your decision to grow your family turns out lovely!
Hi, I'm also new to this board. I have two girls (4,2) and we are constantly dealing with our christian family. Before we had children we sat our parents down and explained that we would be raising our children in an agnostic home and asked that they respect our beliefs and not to intefer. At the time they recieved it well but of course once we had children that changed.... I've found that it's so hard for our christian family to respect our wishes and they feel obligated to save our childrens souls. My mother in law is the worst, she is always buying religious books for the girls and teaching them prayers and songs. Though it's been hard we've had to stand our ground for what we believe is right in raising our girls. We are selective with the books and music given to them by their grandparents but of course we can't always be there and I'm not sure what we'll have to end up doing about the prayers their being taught.
Hi! Welcome to the board!
That's a tough one. They truly feel your potential child will go to hell if not "saved" or have belief. I can imagine how scary and sad that feels to them.
I think, when you and your DH come to a decision on having a baby, you should sit them down and lay out the rules. Or heck, do that even before you decide. Let them know where you stand and how you expect them to handle the situation.
If you're comfortable with it, tell them when the child is old enough to choose you'll let him/her attend their church - along with other religions. Maybe it will help them feel better about it and thus not go behind your back and try to instill some belief.
Good luck TTC when the time comes!
Oh, and just a thought on the population and where will the world be idea, I agree with you to a point. I worry about where we're heading and what my children will have to deal with and how much of our crap they'll have to clean up. but I that's why I had kids, so I can teach them better and they'll be ready to clean up our mess and begin creating a world we would be proud of. :)
Thanks for your reply.
Welcome to the board! I agree with setting ground rules before the child even arrives.
Welcome!
It seems to me that, considering the closeness between you, it will have to be an ongoing dialogue. An ongoing life lesson.
And, "Ouch". That hurt. And I'm sure she really meant it at the time. It just goes to show you how much she has to learn about what real love is and how beautiful it is in a child!
Kind and thinking parents are the best kind, you know!
Here's hoping your decision to grow your family turns out lovely!
Peace, Karen
Hi, I'm also new to this board. I have two girls (4,2) and we are constantly dealing with our christian family. Before we had children we sat our parents down and explained that we would be raising our children in an agnostic home and asked that they respect our beliefs and not to intefer. At the time they recieved it well but of course once we had children that changed.... I've found that it's so hard for our christian family to respect our wishes and they feel obligated to save our childrens souls. My mother in law is the worst, she is always buying religious books for the girls and teaching them prayers and songs. Though it's been hard we've had to stand our ground for what we believe is right in raising our girls. We are selective with the books and music given to them by their grandparents but of course we can't always be there and I'm not sure what we'll have to end up doing about the prayers their being taught.