babywearing spoils the baby?!? what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2004
babywearing spoils the baby?!? what?
6
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 10:10pm
My neighbor's daughter is pregnant with her third child. This means that in September, she will have a 3 yo, 1 yo, and a newborn. Her mother recommended she use a sling with the newborn b/c Rebekkah LIVES in her slings. Rebekkah doesn't cry much b/c I'm always there to help her. Well, the girl says she doesn't want to SPOIL her newborn by carrying it too much. WHAT????? I'm going to print some articles about babywearing for her. If anything, babywearing does NOT spoil a child. It is so healthy for them... I even think about how newborns are so much fun to carry in the sling, all scrunched up. Rebekkah can't lay in the cradle position and I miss that sometimes. :)
Colleen
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 11:25pm
I know what you mean---I miss the cradle carry so much! It is so much easier to carry a newborn around in a sling than to listen to the baby cry :( I still carry my *15* month old around much of the time, I wonder what she would say about me :(

Sara
Momma to Nicholas 4-7-01 and Katherine 3-9-05



Sara
WAH Momma to Nicholas 4-7-01 and Katherine 3-9-05

Baby Slings




Community Leader
Registered: 04-18-2003
Wed, 05-31-2006 - 12:11pm

I honestly think because of the closeness he experienced as a baby, DS is now a laid back traveller on the bus.

Gail

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Wed, 05-31-2006 - 1:53pm

I carried my son in a carrier since he was three month old. As a highneeds, hypersensitive baby he needed a lot of care and love.

He is now 16 month old and does not need the carrier so much anymore. If he sees my nephew is in the carriage he requests to be with him too.

He is slowly moving away from being on me instead of me shoving him away!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 3:28pm

I think I'd stress to her the convenience of it even more than the "better for baby" aspect! I mean, everyone knows that breastfeeding is better for the baby's health, but many people who can breastfeed choose not to anyway. Goodness, if she's going to have three kids three and under, the woman is going to need her arms! So that's how I'd go at it--talk to her about how much easier it is to grocery-shop, or mall-walk, or get your kids out of the car...imagine trying to corral the 3-year-old and 1-year-old AND carry the giant heavy carseat? What a nightmare! So much easier if the tiny one is in the sling and she can grab the hands of the other two. And the baby cries so much less--it will be very difficult to hear three crying, which will probably happen on some days...if she can cut down on that, that would be a tremendous improvement in quality of life, I'd think. Plus, you might point out your presumably-not-spoiled child to her! Good luck converting...

Annie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 3:35pm

Hi, I'm sort of a newbie, and this post is almost a year old, but I wanted to respond.

That is such a prevalent philosophy that by being too "motherly" you will somehow spoil your child. I know you all are real proponents of AP and I'm probably preaching to the choir, but in actuality the opposite is true. Dr. Sears makes the statement in his discipline book that "A child who feels right, acts right." I think this extends way back to infancy as well. A child who is nurtured and responded to will usually grow up to be a lot more flexible, easy, and independent. They grow up feeling that the world is a safe place and that they can trust their mommy (and thus people in general). This is key for a child's healthy emotional development and I think impacts their emotional healthiness into adulthood. I mean, who would advocate holding back on hugs and kisses and touches for fear of spoiling their child? A majority of behavioral problems in kids are due to the child crying out so desperately for attention, any kind of attention, even if it's negative. I don't believe you can spoil your child with too much love or closeness or positive attention. My almost-3 year old daughter is such a loving, mature, easy, happy baby and even the "terrible twos" were very noneventful. I believe that this has a lot to do with her being raised in an attached way.

Good luck mommies, in all that you do for your babies.

Heidi, mommy to Paige 5/24/04 and another EDD 11/13/07

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Heidi, mommy to Paige 5/24/04 and Charlotte 11/12/07
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 8:10pm
Yes I would give her a book on babywearing. My daughter was stuck to me like glue from day 1 and now that she is 5 years old I often wish I could still carry her around-hehe. She never did go thru "terrible two's" and is far from spoiled. She has a good sense of herself, independent, friendly, outgoing, confident, and just an overall wellrounded and happy child. I always hate hearing the myths and how people truly believe in them. Silly. Trish :)