hi new here

Avatar for irishlassie2003
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
hi new here
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 4:36pm
hi everyone,

i just decided to look for an online support group and found you guys today. I am 34 years ols and a mom of 3. I have suffered bouts of depression for years, since i was a teenager. i finally told my family doctor about it a year and a half ago. She put me on zoloft 50mg. That worked very well until august 2002. i went back to the doc and she upped the zoloft to 100mg. I started seeing a therapist, and was evaluated by a pyschiatrist. He diagnosed me as having major recurrent depression. I stopped seeing that therapist bcs. i didn't think we clicked. I just found another who i really like. Here is my problem, in early february I really fell into a sinkhole of depression. This is the worst bout i've had, with the exception of august when my med. was increased. So now i am going on 2 mos of feeling extreme fatigue, no joy, lonely in a crowded room etc. My eating habits are about the same, but i am sleeping a lot. I fing myself very disengaged from day to day life. Taking care of the house, kids and work is too overwhelming right now. I hate this bcs. i am someone who can have oodles of energy when i feel good. WHen its time to do the kid's homework, make dinner, pack lunches I just can't bring myself to do it. Thank god I have my husband, he has been covering my butt big time. My question is should i ask my doc for a medicine change? I can't go on like this for much longer. For the first time about 2 weeks ago, i actually had thoughts about how the kids would be better off without me. They would be happier with no mom than a mom who is a mess. i feel like i am more the helpless child than they are. I am on the highest dose of zoloft so upping it is not an option. I would really be grateful to hear any and all your feedback, stories, etc. thank you for reading this- i hope it wasn't too long. IRISH

Kim mommy to:

Baby Norah 12/31/03, Kate 5/92, Patrick 2/94, Kevin 7/96

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 5:24pm
Hi irish!

Welcome to the boards and the family! Glad you found us! When I first read your post I almost thought I had written it LOL. I have also suffered from bouts of depression since I was a teenager. I am 43 and have one son. I went to my family doctor finally in 2002 and started on 50 mg of Zoloft also. I felt so good with it that I stopped taking it in june of 2002. WHat a mistake, by Sept I was in a deeper depression then ever thought possible and I went back on the meds. Upped to 100mg this time and also started seeing a therapist again. THis more then anything helped me I think. I mean the zoloft is great but if you dont deal with the underlying issues of why you are depressed you never really get any where. I'm glad you have your dh is your corner supporting you, that makes a big difference.

My suggestion based on my experience hun would be to definately look for another therapist and start seeing one for awhile. I agree if you are not comfortable with them its a waste but they really can help. In the meantime, sure it doesnt hurt to talk to your doctor about the change, perhaps he knows of a good therapist too.

Hope you will keep posting and will certainly offer all the understanding and support I can, cause I have been there sweetie..