I am new and in need of some support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2003
I am new and in need of some support.
11
Sun, 11-02-2003 - 4:35am
Hi,

I am mother of four wonderful children (two older and two very young) and a wife of twenty four years to a terrific guy. I have lived with SAD for sometime now, but in the last two years it has been getting worse, mainly due to my situation. I also was recently diagnosed with stress induced depression.

Here is some background knowledge:

Five years ago my huband and I purchased some land so that we could build a home and do some farming. In order to do this we had to sell our home of seventeen years and move in with his parents. My in-laws own a duplex, the apartments are on top of each other, there are seperated by a set of stairs. We live in the bottom apartment. When we moved in it was only going to be for a short time, but as life does it throw us many curve balls and I fogot to swerve. The first ball came after we purchased the property, it was not disclosed to us till after we had the land for several months that there was a building moratorium of six years on the property (this meant that we could not build or develop the land for 6 years). We were not alone, it seems that there were several land owners that had purchased land all at about the sametime and the county did not disclose the information to us, so fearing a lawsue the county allowed each land owned to develop only part of the land. This caused some delays. I was pregnant with number three child at the time.

When we moved to my in-laws I had an array of animals and a very allergic mother-in-law. To make the move my huband made an outside run for my indoor cats and a very long cable for my dog. This work out fine for a while till a other ball was pitched, a nieghbor decided to use a spray to get rid of some blackberry bushes. It did its job and it did a job on some of the cats too. We lost two:-(( My hands were getting full as now I was due anytime with child number four. Ball three, My kind hearted father-in-law thought that with my hands so full that he would let my dog off her chain at times. Eight days after the birth of child number four there came a knok on the door, (I was home alone with an eight day old infant and two year old) When I anwsered the door, two very distraught ladys were there, my dog had been hit by a car, the driver had not even stopped and the two ladys had witnessed the hit and run. I called my father-in-law who in turn called my husband and the crew of a job to come home and take the dog to the property to be buried. Ball four, we rehomed the remainer of the animals as I had my hands full with one High schooler and two little ones.

Ball five,we have been at my in-laws for four and a half years now and the property and the building have been nothing short of a nightmare. Ball six, I have had to picket the engineer to get the plans back from him, we have had to pressure the designer to do his job (the house was designed by my husband all the designer had to do was put it to blueprint) we have had more problems then you can imagine.

With the lose of our house, the lose of our animals, no money to do a reaffirmation of our wedding vows (something that I have looked forward to for years) no money for anything accept for the bare necessities. I have fallin into depression.

My husband as you can tell works for his father so we are constantly with his parents. They are both really great but when you are with each other 24/7 it gets to be to much. My husband family are very close so we all get togeter a lot, we even vacation together:-/

There is so much more to tell you but I think that I will stop here. I think you all can get the picture of why my doctor says I have stress induced depression. He has also suggested that I find something to do. Nothing right now interests me, all of my old stand by are just to aggravating to me now. I also do not have any money to start anything new. I have two little one that need constant attention which makes it difficult to go any where. So I sit here in this cave with two small children in potty training. The little one are so well behave I sometime feel bad about not going any where, but I just do not have the energy. Any advise or just support is greatly appreciated. :-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 11:01pm

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Sweetie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


One of the things, that might help you on the fact that you aren't happy about how well you do things, is to repeat over and over again.

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