Binge eating????????

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Binge eating????????
14
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 7:02pm
This will probably sound like a huge over-reaction, but I'm frustrated with this one. As I've posted before, my appetite has been non-existant for quite a while. It started disappearing about 3 months ago, then was gone completely until about 3 weeks ago. Then, there was one day where I just couldn't get full. I literally ate all day long. Then, the next day I was back to no appetite. It wasn't like the not being hungry after a huge meal type of thing, I just had no appetite. I went on like that for another 3 weeks. Today, I'm back to stuffing my face with anything I can get my hands on. During the non-appetite "phases", I would try to force myself to eat at least one thing every day. usually a one of those microwavable soup on the go things. But, even that wasn't a daily thing. I don't know if this is something to worry about or not. The only thing I can compare it to are alcoholics who binge drink. I don't think I have an eating disorder, but then I don't know what's causing this wild fluxuation in my appetite either. Is it the depression? I just don't know. I may be over-reacting, it's just weird. With my depression before, this never happened. of course, before I didn't have the noise in my head either. If anyone has any input, I would appreciate it. Thanks.

Traci

~ ML ~  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2003
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 7:12pm
Not sure what's going on...but when you figure out an answer, let me know! I too experience the same binging habits. It's kinda goofy, but I have NO clue as to why I do it, or keep up with it. Then afterwards, I feel extremely guilty. I don't know if it's related to depression, but it could be. But if anyone answers with a "real" answer let me know!

Trix

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 7:54pm
I'm afraid I don't have an answer for you, either. I have a pretty severe eating problem. I overeat. Like for the past I'd say four weeks, I have been eating pretty much non stop. That's not an exaggeration. I have been nibbling on bbq peanuts. I eat when I am bored, happy, sad, mad. Whatever.

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 8:00pm
Trix,

Thanks for your post. At least I know now that I'm not alone on this. I don't know much about "eating disorders" except that it's usually dealing with the "thought" that someone is overweight. This has been the direct opposite problem for me all my life. I've always had to struggle to maintain an "optimum" weight. With my last depression, I lost 20 pounds and it took me 3 years to gain it back. I'm the one so many people just love to hate because I can do that "eat all the time and never gain a pound" thing. What so many people don't realize is that being on that end of the spectrum is just as bad. I've put up with so much teasing over the years, I sometimes find myself wishing I had to worry about gaining too much or even losing a few pounds. I actually feel kind of guilty for even posting this. But, like I said, this is just a very weird thing for me. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone.

Peace, Love & Light,

Traci

~ ML ~  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 8:30pm
NOISE IN YOUR HEAD????

What do you mean, "noise in my head"? please.

As far as an eating disorder, are you concerned about anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or strickly binge eating? Binge eaters don't purge.

You did not mention if you are currently on any meds for the depression. Meds can effect your appetite as well as your taste buds. During the times you are not eating, you might want to supplement with some of the drinks like Ensure. I know they use it in eating disorder clinics, especially with anorexic patients.

If this will help, here are some of the "triggers" of binge eating:

Particular stressful situations

Particular upsetting thoughts

Feeling guilt about something one has done

Feeling socially isolated or excluded

Worries about responsibilities, problems, or the future

Boredom

Usually binge eating is associated with over eating. However it is common (1% of the population), and especially with women dealing with depression and anxiety.

I hope this helps some....but I am really intrigued with the noise in your head.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 9:29pm
Thank you for your post. The noise started out kind of like a static-filled radio station. Just fragments of voices of family members that have been pulling me in every conceivable direction known to man, and then some. About 2 weeks ago, the "static" has cleared and the voices became more prominent. All the things I "should" be doing, all the things I "need" to do, etc. Then about a week ago, the voices suddenly became my own telling me that I needed to just put a stop to my pathetic existence. That I am no good, worthless, a waste of skin. That voice has become constant and loud. I've been trying to ignore it and was able to for a while, but then it became unbearable.

When the "noise" started I went to the ER on the advice of a friend who works in a clinic in NY. I went back on zoloft. That was about 2 weeks ago. I had been on it before, but was "cured" (HA!) and weaned off it and have been free of it for a little over a year. Of course, my fear of being hospitalized prevented me from telling them about the "noise".

When I started putting the pieces together about a month ago I called to get back into therapy. The first available appointment that they had for me is this coming Wednesday. I utilized the emergency services department twice in the past month but have been scared to call them back because they told me that if I didn't start eating they could hospitalize me whether I wanted it or not. Right now, with everything going on in my life, that is just NOT an option. Plus I have a HUGE fear of hospitals anyway.

Anyway, even though it's only been 2 weeks, there has been no indication that the zoloft is doing anything good. It's only gotten worse. I have 3 beautiful children who I love more than life itself and they have been what's kept me from suicide. I keep telling myself that my appointment is just a few days (now) away. Last night I came terribly close to giving in to the voice. Recently, there has been an upsurge of absolute rage that I haven't felt in about 20 years. The last time I experienced this rage I attempted suicide. When I get to raging, I don't hurt others. I hurt myself. The rage has made the voice stronger. Last night it was bad. Today it's not as loud as it was yesterday. Could be cause I'm not raging.

As for the triggers you posted, I think just about every single one applies. I'm not worried about anorexia cause I don't purge. I'm just in a really dark bad place right now.

Thanks again for your input. I'm wondering now if I keep my appointment if they won't lock me up anyway. I keep hearing that I need to be totally honest when I go in there so that they can get me on the right meds. I'm scared to tell them about the voice and the suicide thoughts for fear they'll throw me in there. There's a custody issue of my kids involved here as well. That adds to my fears/anxieties. I'm just really scared and confused right now. Thanks for listening.

Traci

~ ML ~  

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 10:00pm
Traci, I have noticed the same thing with my appetite. My pdoc says it is the depression. Just another thing to deal with! Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 11:29pm
Oh wow, when I read your description of the "noise in your head" when it started out, I literally got chills. When I was a kid, I occasionally heard what sounded like loud static on a radio...once I even yelled at my sister to turn her radio down, and she was really confused because the radio wasn't even on. But fortunately, I guess, that noise didn't progress to the voices you are describing...I did occasionally hear very clear snippets of songs I knew, etc...but that's all.

I just want to urge you to be honest with your doctor and therapist about these voices... it's very important for your treatment. You can't be thrown in the hospital just for hearing things...but there are medications (e.g. antipsychotics) that are very effective at treating this problem. The doctor might even change your diagnosis, if you are diagnosed just with depression...although I have read in my psychology textbooks that there are occasionally cases of hallucinations (e.g. voices) during severe depression.

I too am struggling with eating issues...trying to avoid eating, and then ending up stuffing my face with junk food...I am so upset with the weight I've gained that I didn't even go home to visit my parents this weekend because I know they make sure I eat more than I want to. So I know how that is...but I'm not sure about why your appetite would be changing so much...definitely something to ask your doctor.

But please, I really want to emphasize that the "noise in your head" needs attention from your doctor or therapist...for your own sake, please talk to someone about it. I will be thinking of you and hoping that you choose to get the help you need.

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 11:32pm
Sorry for my long posts, but I just had one more thing to add after I read through your post again. The fact that the voices you hear are telling you to harm yourself makes the problem more serious...your life could be at stake. I couldn't bear to hear that you had hurt yourself because of the "noise"...please, for you and your kids, talk to someone about this as soon as possible...no consequence can be as bad as you losing your life.

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 12:29am

(((((Traci))))), what they would most likely do is ask you if you can contract for safety.

 

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CL-ladybug987

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 12:51am
Thank you for your posts. I have nobody that I can call. I have this board and a friend that lives in NY. My friend referred me to this board. For that, I will be eternally grateful. I'm just fed up with the whole mess. From what's going on in my life externally right down to this blasted illness. Although not diagnosed until about 3 years ago, I can trace this back to childhood. I can't ever remember the noise/voices though. I feel like I've crossed the point of no return. Right now, I can say that I'm "safe" which I guess is a good thing. The voice has not been as loud today. I'm just scared that they will put me in the hospital cause if I tell them everything, they're gonna think I'm a danger to myself. Between not eating (except for today and one other in the past month), the noise/voice, the suicide thoughts I don't stand a chance. If I get hospitalized, my ex will go after custody of my kids and along with a journal he "removed" from the house when we were separated, this would tip the scales in his favor. Without my kids, I have nothing. I'm just so confused right now. Thanks for listening and your input.

Traci

~ ML ~  

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