THERAPIST AND PDOC AT ODDS ON ME
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| Tue, 11-18-2003 - 1:33pm |
My therapist and pdoc are at ends when it comes to my treatment my therapist whom I see every wednesday thinks that I need more or better meds than what I am on now which is nuerontin and just that alone but I have horrible rage and she sees it everyweek by me telling her things and she thinks that a mild anti phycotic may be of use just to calm me down a littel bit well my pdoc seems to disagree with her and says that she souldnt get involved with my meds and I disagree with him he thinks that my dosage needs to be up'd
and I think htat I may need something different more I dont know I am not trained in this field so I cant tell my pdoc what he should do and not do.
So I go to therapy tomorrow night and I am going to try to figure something out with my therapist we are getting small vicotories but nothing to do with the depression me loosing the scale trying to not take diet pills I ran out of them a week ago and trying to not buy them, I dont take laxatives anymore which is good I dont vomit anymore and I am trying to eat like a normal person at least once a day instead of going a weeek and then eating so that is a small thing on my part but it isnt a victory until it is something that I know I wont turn back to.
With my friend dying in September I drank maybe three nights in a row but not driunk drinking just a beer or two nothing major and then I just kinda slipped thru the cracks and was left alone with my emotions and my memories of Keith and I would look at his picture and smile then cry then scream so loud I thought I would wake the dead hoping that I would wake him ya right his soul was dead so much longer thanhis body his soul was gone a good two years before his body died he was on so many drugs and just stopped caring about himself he loved the peole around him so much why couldnt he love himself just a little bit.
I guess I am not one to talk about it since I hate myself more than onyone else could ever hate me that is one thing that I know will be hard to change maybe never change.
I gotta run thanks for listening.
Erin

(((((Hello, Erin)))))
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CL-ladybug987
((((((((((((((((((Erin))))))))))))
While you may not know enough about things for your treatment to chose meds, you do know enough about you to say what is and is not working.
Hey Sweetie! Barb and Trac are both right on this one! You need to focus on your victories that you've made. Honey, they are HUGE accomplishments! BE PROUD OF THEM! LOVE YOURSELF for them! I have said it time and time again here but I'll continue saying it............YOU ARE IMPORTANT!!!! YOU MATTER!!!!!!!! And as both Barb and Trac said, let us love you while you learn to love yourself!!!!! Talk to your therapist tomorrow. See what she recommends. She is good for you. She will help you get to where you need to be..........just as we will here as best we can. Hang in there honey. We all love you here!
Foggy