help

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
help
2
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 1:21am
Hi all -

I have been posting messages on other boards on this website about situations in my life that i needed feedback on. well... i think it's all catching up to me.

I am trying to remain as positive as I can for the sake of my kids. I have 3 kids, ages 13, 11, and 9. Just recently we had an incident where my ex's girlfriend was beating my 13 yo son. I filed a police report and a report w/ children services. The case was closed because my ex insisted that it was horseplay and there were no visible marks so they couldn't make any arrests or modifications to the court ordered visitations. From what the detective told me (and he didn't tell me much), my ex stated that it was a squabble that I had with him and that I was basically a vindictive ex-wife. I cried because they believed my ex and dismissed this as a "squabble". I believe my kids when they complain and I told the detective this, but he refused to hear it. So I sucked it up and just let the kids know that if anything else like that happens that they should dial 911.

Prior to this happening, I asked my boyfriend to move out. Things just weren't happening the way i wanted them to. He was not very fond of my kids. He would turn into a different person when they were around. He'd try to discipline them, but I found that he was overstepping his boundaries and I'd intervene. He really wasn't helping around the house financially or physically. He would always say that he had no money. I found it hard to believe, but like an idiot, I took his word. I had slowly fallen out of love whenI saw that he wasn't much of a man afterall.

2 weeks ago I broke my ankle falling off a cliff. it was about 5 feet down and I hurt myself pretty badly. A month ago I broke my other foot. My health insurance denied all services for that injury, so it's still very tender. I'm in a cast and I have become dependent on others.

On top of all this, our child support was cut to about 1/4 of what we were recieving last year. I've had to take on a second job and it still doesn't cut it. I get close to 130 dollars every week to support my 3 kids.

I find myself crying to and from work almost everyday. I refuse to seek help because I'm afraid that the ex-husband will track my medical records and make me out to be an unstable, unfit mother (he tried it last year). I feel trapped. I feel like there is nowhere to turn. I feel very very alone. I totally don't see the sun shining anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: super_bernie
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 1:38am

Welcome to the board,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
In reply to: super_bernie
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 9:03am
((((superbernie))))

I can't believe that the police believed your ex instead of you. But I am sending you a huge pat on the back for believing your son.

I think Trac gave you some great advice on the confidentiality issues.

I can't really offer much advice, because I don't really know how insurance and all that works down there.

But....I am sending you hugs.

Take care

Pamela

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