long night
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long night
| Wed, 11-19-2003 - 8:16am |
sorry i haven't been here in a while. everyone in my house had the flu last week.
i have a theripist appointment today thank goodness. hubby and i were up fighting till one o clock this morning. i have been obsessing again. i was haveing a really down day,
i just wanted to tell him i was sad, i needed some reassurence. he takes it personally.why can't he understand? why can't i just accept things? why do i have to obsess and cause fights? he keeps saying he can't live like this. if i can't get this under controle he will leave me. i don't know what to do. i take my meds. i go to my sessions. i try to talk myself out of letting things bother me. i even found a friend to talk to once in a while. i am so sick and tierd of being sick and tierd.i'm lazy. i can't get anything done. i am so tierd all the time. i feel like i am not being a very good mom right now. all i want to do is sleep. i know i'm not being a good wife. i suppose i couldn't blame him for not wanting to be with me. i don't even want to be with me.but the fact remains that i need him. he is the love of my life. every thing good i have is because of him.so knowing that why can't i stop obsessing. why can't i stop hurting him?i know i'm just rambling, but i didn't know where else to go.i don't expect anyone to be able to answer theese questions. i just needed to get them out so they stop replaying in my head over and over.this place is my life line. this is where i go when everyone else is sick of hearing my woah is me sob story.i know i am just feeling sorry for myself. i am sorry for bothering all of you with this stupid stuff. i'll go now.
i have a theripist appointment today thank goodness. hubby and i were up fighting till one o clock this morning. i have been obsessing again. i was haveing a really down day,
i just wanted to tell him i was sad, i needed some reassurence. he takes it personally.why can't he understand? why can't i just accept things? why do i have to obsess and cause fights? he keeps saying he can't live like this. if i can't get this under controle he will leave me. i don't know what to do. i take my meds. i go to my sessions. i try to talk myself out of letting things bother me. i even found a friend to talk to once in a while. i am so sick and tierd of being sick and tierd.i'm lazy. i can't get anything done. i am so tierd all the time. i feel like i am not being a very good mom right now. all i want to do is sleep. i know i'm not being a good wife. i suppose i couldn't blame him for not wanting to be with me. i don't even want to be with me.but the fact remains that i need him. he is the love of my life. every thing good i have is because of him.so knowing that why can't i stop obsessing. why can't i stop hurting him?i know i'm just rambling, but i didn't know where else to go.i don't expect anyone to be able to answer theese questions. i just needed to get them out so they stop replaying in my head over and over.this place is my life line. this is where i go when everyone else is sick of hearing my woah is me sob story.i know i am just feeling sorry for myself. i am sorry for bothering all of you with this stupid stuff. i'll go now.
becky


I am so glad that you feel you can come here.
Please don't feel that your posts aren't important or too long. Say what you have to. No matter how long!
You aren't whining, what you have to say is important. Otherwise you wouldn't need to get it off your chest. Have you thought about your DH going to a session with you??
Take care. I am sending hugs.
Pamela
(((((((((((((((BECKY)))))))))))))))))
Im so glad you came here and posted.. please dont feel you have to 'go'. I can relate soo well to what you are saying.. Its where I was about 2 years ago.. My DH didnt understand either. Men look at depression so much differently then we do. Its hard.
Its sounds like you are really trying hun. Im sure you have talked to your T. about this, but has he or she mentioned Cognitive Behavior THerapy? Its a very proactive process of turning negative thoughts to positive ones. Im proof it works hehe and some I hope you too can look in the mirror and say "I am a Good person" and believe it, cause you are. ANd once you believe that it all falls into place
*hugs
*hugs
becky