Ya' know I thought it just wouldn't...

Avatar for karenmrh
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Ya' know I thought it just wouldn't...
1
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 9:51am
..bother me anymore. I mean it's over with my STBX. I know that. But he called this morning; first to harangue me about talking to his Mom and letting her know what kinda slug he was (but she started on how 'unfair' everyone was treating him). And then to argue about getting the divorce. He believes that I make enough money to cover the $400 a month I'd have to pay if I wasn't on the military health system. And he's not even sure I'm telling the truth about the $400 (includes copays), he doesn't know anyone who pays that much. He even said that many people could live on what he pays in child support...$14,000 a year is enough to raise two kids in Northern Virginia. I pay more than that in daycare, per year.

I think I might have gotten to root of why he needs a divorce right now....he is involved with someone that he said he wants to have a family with. That is if he's not lying about not having married her already (since he is being charged with bigamy).

But it just hurts, even though....

He doesn't care what it costs me to lose medical care.

He doesn't care what it costs my beautiful children.

He's ready to replace not just me, but our kids too.

My Dad did the same thing; he left and took his new wife's kids as his own. They are his children not us, their kids are his grandkids....

STBX's parents are sure to embrace this new wife and if she produces a son, well my kids will be kicked to the curb as they say. (If they aren't already.)

You know it's bad enough that I am rejected, I mean I outta be used to THAT by now. But it is so important to me that my kids don't go through what I did/have....but it's repeating despite my best efforts. My kids have little in the way of family, and they will probably lose STBX's family too. STBX hasn't even seen the kids in 2 years.

I've heard the talk that maybe they are better off without him, but better how? Better knowing that their father doesn't really care about them, that they are inferior in some way to this 'new' family? I've been there and it changes EVERYTHING! Besides the financial issues....

Why do these people hurt my kids? I had them because I thought they'd be cherished...but I am the only one and most of the time I'm barely holding on to the finances, the kids medical problems, my medical problems....just everything is way too much and it's OK for that scum to leave it all.

Why, exactly is this OK? If/when we go to court the judge/master won't care about what this does to my kids....he'll give that scum permission to marry again.

And I just don't think he should have the right to use his sperm to make more kids, when he has abandoned mine and, get this, an illegitimate one 7-8 years older than our oldest (he'd be 17 or so).

I am sitting here with no social life, no way to have more kids, health problems from CARRYING his kids...you don't see me DATING!

I hate Y chromosomes....I've NEVER met anyone with one who wasn't a slug! (This includes my own relatives.)

My brain is crispy and fried at the edges like that commercial...

ANNOUNCER: "And this is your brain when you are Bipolar, while taking many medications that still DON'T control your mood swings!"

Hugs,

KarenMRH

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 11:10am
(((Karen)))

Sweetie, you are going through such a rough time. And that is not fair.

I think you are totally right in being angry. I agree, men/women should not just be able to leave their kids behind. The affect on them is terrible. I know how hard a divorce is, I can't imagine how hard it is to have a parent not want anything to do with me.

I just wanted to send you some ((((((HUGS)))))).

Take care

Pamela

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