OK where is my mind? *major triggers*

Avatar for karenmrh
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
OK where is my mind? *major triggers*
6
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 3:56pm
Friends:

First let me say I am so sorry to monopolize board time, I know I have been doing that a lot the last two days....

I wrote this in my 'Mood Chart' today, and it's scaring me:

Morning: Temper problems. High energy, yet hard to think things through, racing of incompatible thoughts. Suicidal. Depondent. Fighting SI with other things, still want to anyway.

Afternoon: Want to die, to leave, some paranoid/psychotic – fightng that. Teary. Hopped up and want to destoy, pound, break my own bones – ‘cause I shouldn’t hurt others – it’s all my fault. So hard not to SI, keep seeing it, wanting it. Thinking of calling , not feeling safe. .

I CAN'T STOP IT. My mind is dropping into some sinkhole, swirling and I should be able to stop it. Should. Should. Could, if.

On the edge of true madness. Where is 'me'?

Hugs, hugs,

KarenMRH



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 4:09pm
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((KAREN)))))))))))))))))))))Sweetie, please call your doc NOW! We are worried for you. If you don't feel safe, then call the doc. Don't hesitate to call! We want you to get the help you not only need but deserve! You will get better! Give yourself that chance! You are Important and You DO MATTER! We all love you!!!!!!! Don't worry about monopolizing the board. This board is here for you to come to when you need it! Use it as you need it. There is no need to apologize. Keep coming back here:-)

(((((((((((((((((((((((((KAREN)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((((((KAREN)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((((((KAREN)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((((((KAREN)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Peace, Love & Light,

Foggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 4:43pm


(((((((((((((((((((((((karen)))))))))))))))))))))

I hope that you did call your tdoc and speak with hem/her about what is goin on with you today and these past few days.

Sweety know that you are going thru alot an dI wish I could do something for you be there for you take away what is haunting you I could give you hugs and love and strength shuld you need them and I know I am not around much but I lurk read posts see if I am of any help to anyone.

Good lick please please please call your tdoc

Erin

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 4:51pm
(((((((Karen))))) Don't know what to say. Just keep posting to us and know that we care a great deal. Never feel you can't post, we need you to post if you feel you need to. I wish I had a way to make you feel better, but all I can tell you is that no matter what we are here for you.

You are an extraordinary woman. Don't forget that.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 6:44pm

You are not monopolizing board time to post your thoughts here, that is what the board is for.

Avatar for karenmrh
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 9:20pm
Well update...

Still going whacky *giggle*....

Tdoc said to call pdoc....pdoc isn't available, but I could come in to the ER and see someone, the LCSW on duty, no pdoc is on duty tonight. Of course there's no daycare for my kids and I'm not allowed to bring them anyway (according to the ER).

So *you may not want to read this*



I'm having a few drinks. I NEED to tamp all this stuff in my head down. I haven't slept more than 5 broken hours since last Friday.

Actually I feel a bit giddy! Still got stuff going around in my head...but it just seems to be quieter.

Hugs,

KarenMRH

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Sat, 11-22-2003 - 9:15am

((((((((((((((((((Karen))))))))))))))))


I am really glad you are posting every day!

 

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