Think I need mega support now

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Think I need mega support now
11
Sat, 11-22-2003 - 6:45pm
Hi All,

CL-Jenn I think I read your post a little too early today, but thank you for my gold stars. Also, thank you to everyone who replied to my post.

The good news here is I've been able to squelch the noise today. The bad news is the way that came about.

The day started out good. But my life changed forever at 1:00 p.m. when the call came in that my father had passed away. There's just so much I want/need to say and have no idea where to begin. My "role" in this family is to be the "ROCK", well the rock is crumbling. I don't know what I'm feeling right now other than a whole bunch of different things. I have a very wrestless feeling inside to do something and haven't got the first clue as to what it is. I'm trying to focus on what NEEDS to be done right now and am having a really hard time with that. I spinning in circles and need to stop and focus. I'm getting very frustrated with myself and this blasted illness. I have a lot of "should'a,could'a, woulda's" running through my mind while trying to focus on the details of what has to be done.

Thanks for listening and I'm sorry if my thoughts didn't come out making any sense. I'm not thinking to straight right now.

Foggy

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Avatar for karenmrh
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Sat, 11-22-2003 - 7:23pm
Oh Foggy I'm here for you. My Mom died In April.

Lotsa, lotsa hugs,

KarenMRH

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sat, 11-22-2003 - 7:29pm
(((Karen)))) Thank you. How are you doing today? I hope that you are feeling a little better. I'm thinking of you all.

Peace, Love, & Light,

Foggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sat, 11-22-2003 - 7:36pm

Sweetie (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((foggy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


I am sooo sorry about this, I am available via AIM if you need to talk.

Avatar for karenmrh
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Sat, 11-22-2003 - 7:43pm
I'm about the same. Saw tdoc today. For various reasons I won't be able to get a hold of my pdoc until Monday morning. So I am holding on....as nuts as I'll ever be right now.

But what's life but not interesting?

Hugs,

KarenMRH

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Sat, 11-22-2003 - 7:52pm
((((((((((((((((((((Foggy))))))))))))))))))))

Sweetie, I am sending you massive hugs of support and caring.

Come back and post, sometimes getting your thoughts out helps.

I will be thinking of you.

Take care

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sat, 11-22-2003 - 9:01pm
Thank you all for your support! It means so much to me right now. You all have become family to me. I've been sitting here making the phone calls, trying to focus on the task at hand and I can't. I need to figure out the details of what needs to be done but as I think of something a thought or memory surfaces and the "detail" is gone.

I took a break and went on a dinner run for my mom and kids and while the girls and I were out my 10 yo asked a question that just really left me speechless. She asked "Why do we have Thanksgiving anyway?" My 14 yo picked up the slack for me and told her "It's to thank the Lord for everything we have." I can't come up with a word that describes how I felt at hearing those words. I said nothing. I couldn't. The pain is indescribable, yet I know from other posts I'm not alone here.

So, now I'm back, mom and kids are fed and I'm once again trying to get myself in a mode to handle all of what I need to do and being interrupted by thoughts and memories. It all seems very surreal right now. I am numb and trying so hard to focus and don't know how to do that.

I don't really know what my point of this is. Or, even if there is one. I just needed to get some of this out. Thanks for putting up with my ramblings.

Foggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sat, 11-22-2003 - 11:20pm

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Foggy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))


I know from past experience that the numb feeling is one of the stages of grief.

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 8:51am
Foggy, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is hard to lose someone you love. Please, don't tell yourself about the things that went un-said. He knew, he knew the good and he knew the bad. You are a caring compassionate human...he had to know how wonderful you are. I have a belief that people who pass on are still with you no matter what. Keep him with you...and know he knew all the things that you feel you did not say. He knew, they always know...trust me.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 6:06pm

((((((((((((((((((FOGGY))))))))))))))))))))))


Im sooo sorry to hear of your loss.. I cant imagine how hard it must be to try and "be all" for everyone else when inside you just want to be held yourself..Im glad that you have gotten so much support and help here at the board.. its a truly amazing place and please post as much as you need too.


I apologize profusely for not being here more for you this past week or in the coming week..


There is a poster I saw once that said "Life is what happens to you, while you are planning something else" and that seems so true for me lately.. the lyrics to the Santana song.. "im just a soul whose intentions are good.. " fit here too..


But I want to send you all the Love and support and caring my heart can hold.. I want to also pass on to you a "Pocket Hug" to get you thru the next few days... Its a tiny hug that fits in your pocket and when you are feeling down or stressed you put your hand in your pocket and my Hug will be there to hold your hand in spirit!


With Love,

*hugs

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 6:44pm

Foggy,


I know this is late and I apologize.

    CL for The

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