I Can't Control my Weight

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
I Can't Control my Weight
19
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 10:05pm
I feel so out of control. I weighed myself and I am just steadily gaining weight. I can't stop it. I just feel so helpless right now, I can't explain it.

I am so miserable, and I feel that food is my only friend. I eat when I am not hungry, and I pretty much grazed all day today. I am lonely, but I don't want to be around people, either. I want to feel loved. I want someone to hugs me and tell me that I am a good person. That they will love me for who I am. I want to feel all warm and fuzzy inside with love, not because I have stuffed myself so full of food.

I just don't know what to do anymore, it's getting too cold here to do any walking. I have an eliptical exercise machine, but it's out at my dad's house as there is no room here. I am gonna ask my roommate tomorrow if it is okay just to bring it even though it's gonna look terrible.

I just hate this, I never had to worry about my weight until after high school. The weird part is that I totally ignored my feeling etc up until that time. Now that I am attempting to deal with it, my weight is out of control. Hmmm...guess there is a connection there.

I want so much to be called "tiny" like I used to. I guess I feel that is the only way I ever got recognized. But I so badly want to be thin again.

I hate myself, and I don't know how to not hate myself. I know I have to start with me.

I know this isn't as important as Traci's dad passing away, but I just feel so hopeless...

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 5:12pm
I don't know what to say (En tiedä mita sanoin), except that I have depression as well. Otherwise I wouldn'y be on this board. I am 19 years old and I'm a mother of 4. (minä olen 19 vuottia ja minä olen äiti neljas). My name is Meg. (Minun nemeni on Meg) I live in Finland (minä asun Suomeen) near the Artic Circle, and it is (in celcius) - 15 degrees outside (is that like 5 F) and I have to walk with 2 of my kids (the twins are 3 ms. old) about 8 km every day. So, get outside and bear the cold! At first it's bad, but then you get used to it. The longer you walk, the warmner you get, and the more fit you get (of course you'll need to do more than just walk), but I'm sure you knew that. Is there a possibility that you can leave the house and avoid a place that sells food. I tend to eat all the time, but I have trouble gaining weight. That may sound good, but it isn't. Do you want to lose weight for "you"? Or do you want to lose weight for "society"? I mush rather be friends with a person who isn't "thin" but still is very nice than a person who is "thin" and nasty.

Hyvää Yötä (hu-va U-o-ta)

Good Night

PS. I'm not sure if this will help but perhaps reading a book about good health will inform you about losing weight, and you will be busy reading instead of eating. Also, don't eat Italian food (only on rare occasions) because it is very fatty (on the Weight Watchers diet it has the most points). Don't go on a diet until you talk with your doctor, and if very close friends tell you you're not THAT overweight...most likely they aren't lying.

Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 5:19pm
Thanks for the reply Meg. I live in Canada, pretty soon it will be REALLY cold. But I try to walk alot.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 7:07pm
i didn't read all of the replies (but saw that you got a ton!) so excuse me if i repeat anything. first of all, i understand the whole association with being "tiny." my whole life i was short and scrawny. guys used to think i was so "cute" and pick me up and give me attention for being so little. then in high school, i grew 6 inches in one year and kept growing. i know that height is slightly different, but just hear me out :) i went from thinking of myself as a cute little thing to being taller than the guys. i felt uncomfortable in my own body- like my identity was all messed up. i learned first of all that anyone who gave me less attention for physical reasons wasn't worth it anyways and best of all to be confident with myself. pretty soon, i didn't think about it as much, and eventually i learned to think of tall as beautiful instead.

ok that was one realm of how i wanted to help, and here is another: i just finished working for a weight loss and exercise website and learned all about that stuff in school. if there is anything i can do to help- advice or whatever, feel free to email me! i think you can just click on my name and email me from my profile. if not, let me know. one thing i can tell you is that you are not alone, and i know that you can turn the trend around. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 7:33pm

(((Trixie))) and (((Foggy))), and anyone else who'd like a hug!!


Trixie, I'm 5'2 also and just topped 197...I used to be a size 6 and 120 lbs.

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 7:36pm

Brain fart...I'm taking off my hat...AGAIN!!!


Sheesh, sorry about that.


Deb

    CL for The

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 8:57pm

Welcome, (((((Meg))))), to our board!

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v254/ladybug987/Signatures/springbutterflybarb.jpg>

CL-ladybug987

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 5:50am
Hey! I don't know where in Canada you are but I LOVE LOVE LOVE Toronto! My parents took a vacation there and they loved it so much that they live there now,hehe...in a small town called Niagara on the Lake.

PS. I know what MuchMusic and Canadian air farce is...I am not Finnish, I live in Finland because I am studyng science in school (they have the best science and medical programmes here) and raising 4 kids at the same time (with of course help form by bf). I wouldn't say I'm the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, but I speak 5 languages and my kids speak 3 (Gabrielle speaks 4). My kids are advanced...my 2 yr. old son started talking in full sentences (in both Italian and English) at 18ms. but because we are teenage parents society STILL thinks we are doing something wrong. Whatever I say... well up here no 1 bothers you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 8:49am
Wow, you just might be the most interesting and smart person I have ever come into contact with.

I live in Manitoba.

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 5:29pm
Interesting alright, but I wouldn't say smart, hehe.

Well, I have to go to Poland for awhile (I know I am very lucky) and I love to make up songs/ and poems. Here is a song I have been singing to my sons (I have 2 sons, and 2 daughters) in Catalan and French. My kids don't know Catalan, I have been learning it for a while now...but I had to stop when the babies were born (the twins) and I am refreshing my brain.

PS. Sit up straight when typing, it makes you feel better! And can I have some of your emails...I don't have a link, and there is a picture that I would LOVE to send (of 2 of my kids and also a comedy pic.) If you want to learn some French ..look on the side..and if you want me to 1 day I can come back here and put in the pronounciations!!


I like to sing to my baby J'aime chanter a mon bebé

I could sing every day Je pourrais chanter touts les jours

I will say why I love you my son Dirai pourquoi je t'aime mon fils

While I sing a song or maybe two Donc je chante una chanson ou peut-être deux

You are my baby, with beautiful brown eyes Tu es mon bebé, avec beaux les yeux marro

Smile, my baby, and now you will sleep Sours, mon bebé, et prête dormiras

Sleep, my baby, it's time that I go Dors, mon bebé, c'est le temps que je vais

Sorry, my son, but you know (that) Desolée, mon fils, mais tu sais (que)

I went to see God to ask about you Je suis allée a voir Dieu demander vers toi

He said that I must always keep you Il a dit que je dois t'embrass toujours

Close to my heart, where you can be safe Ferms à ma coeur, où tu peux être bon

I cannot be with you, sorry baby Je ne peux pas être avec toi, desolée bebé

But my love for you grows every day Mais mon adore pour toi plus grande toutslesjours

I hope that you are happy J'éspere que tu es heureux

Every Day Touts les jours


(and this needs work..mostly I hum it. This is Catalan) I can give you the pronounciation for this too if you want. I like to challenge myself..it keeps my mind off depression. there are some accents missing in both the French and the Catalan

M'agrado cantar a meu bebè

Podria cantar cada dia

Dirè perquè te vull el meu fill

(while) canto una canco o potser dou

Ets el meu bebè, amb bonics els ulls marròns

(smile), el meu bebè, i ara dormiràs

Dorms, el meu bebè, és la això vaig

Perdona, el meu fill, (but) conèixos (aquest)

He anat veure Deu a demanar sombre tu

Ha (said) això havo (always keep you)

Ferms el meu courro, on pots estar (safe)

No puc estare amb tu, perdona bebè

But el meu estimo per tu (grows) cada dia

Espero que aquesta ets felic

Cada Dia

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