hate being depressed for no reason! help

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
hate being depressed for no reason! help
13
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 4:53am
hi eveyone..i have been suffering depression for along time now and not a soul knows about it ..its gotton worse for 2 months now i find it hard 2 look people directly in the eyes why? i am a bit shy..but i can also be loud...anyways my self esteem has dropped ..i get really self concious..why am i getting like this..sumtimes i cry ...i just want to be a confidsent person..me low self esteem is getting me no where ive gained on weight feel so unhappy..i hate the fact that i go really quiet when i go out with guys and then they think i have no personlality gets me more depressed help plz? how can i be a happy confident care free girl? i hate the way i feel !! does anyone feel like this especially with eye contact(cant look people in the eyes)..plz reply sum1

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 5:41am
haticek,

sweetheart I know exactly what you're going through. When you say that you've had depression for a long time but not a soul knows, does that mean that you haven't seen a doctor about some medication? If so the first thing you need to do is see your doctor about some medication to start controlling your depression. Also see if your doctor can refer you to a cousellor or even if there are informal support groups in your area, sometimes there are groups of people who who have depression who meet regularly to give support to each other.

After you've done that you can work on your self-esteem. That for me was the hardest part. Find something you really enjoy like walking, reading, crafts and see if you can join a group of people who also like that activity, that way you can share your enjoyment and your skills.

The other thing is to remember to take time for yourself each day to go over the day and find 2 positive things about yourself, maybe you wore a really nice lipstick or were polite to the rude person at the shop or maybe even you just got out of bed.

I hope this helps and that I didn't waffle on too much!!

Luv n Hugs

Shannon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 7:26am
Haticek,

I don't have much to offer right now, but I do want to say welcome to the board. You will find a lot of support, encouragement and suggestions. The ladies here are wonderful. Keep posting.

Foggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 9:48am
(((haticek)))

Welcome!

Wow, you sound almost exactly the same as me! I can be really loud or shy, I often say that I have two different personalitites. I, too, have gained alot of weight, but it's been over a period of quite some time. I also have very low self esteem.

I think alot of us can relate about the whole people not knowing. Alot of us put on what we call "the mask" so that nobody can see how we really feel. I think it is a fear of not being accepted.

Are you on medications? Do you go to counseling? Both of these are options, I do both and I find that they really help.

Anyway, I should get back to work!

Take care. I look forward to getting to know you.

Pamela



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 1:11am
hi thanx for your reply...i dont think i can ever go and tell my docter or any docter that i suffer from depression firsty i wouldnt know how to tell them and i just cant do it! i guess i would feel to embaressed to tell them i suffer from depression and i do not want to go on medication! i dont want anyone knowing i suffer depression i just want to get my confidence back thanx for your advice tough :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 1:20am
hi thanx for ur reply..thats right i havent told a docter no one know about my depression except me and the people that have read my post hehe luckily they dont know me..welli havnt got the guts to see the docter..did u overcome depression from medication?? how did u do it!! and also have u ever had a problem with not being ble 2 look people in the eyes? and another thing if i do build up the guts to go see a docter and they refer me 2 a counseller would that be free? and would they let my family know! i dont want anyone knowing how can i go about it :( plz reply back thank you
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 3:12am
Haticek,

I am overcoming my depression with medications. I found that they really helped almost immediately. I didn't really "tell" my doctor, I just kept visiting her with different things that meant I couldn't go to work, one week it might be a really bad headache, the next it was stomach ache, then back pain. Eventually my doctor looked at me and just said "there's something bigger wrong here isn't there?". I started crying a couldn't stop again. So she prescribed some antidepressants called Aropax for me.

After taking them for about 5 days I actually started being able to look around me a cope with things.

I really had trouble looking people in the eye, I couldn't look my husband or my boss in the eye. If I saw someone looking at me I thought that they were thinking to themselve "what a waste of space".

My doctor also referred me to our Community Mental Health workers which was free. I'm not sure about America though (I'm in Australia) but I would think there would be something similar. Even if you rang your local hospital but didn't give your name just to ask.

Also, I don't think that unless you're a danger to yourself or anyone else that they'd be allowed to tell anyone because of Privacy Legislation.

Please keep in touch, my email isn't working at the moment or I'd give you my address.

Luv n Hugz

Shannon

ps, how old are you?? not being nosy but sometimes there are special programs and support groups for young people with mental health issues like depression.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 8:46am
hi again thanx for your reply...well my age is 21..and i still dont htink i can go to the docter about my depression isnt theree any easier way 2 get over it??? its really eating me up :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 9:08am
Sweetie...it's completely normal for you not to look people in the eye. Especially if your shy, and not sure of yourself. Something to help you is that you should feel confident when you're talking to people because, let's face it, you rock!! As your depression lessens, your confidence will get boosted. I promise. Also, it helps communication when you are looking someone in the eye when you're talking to them. I hope that this helps a little bit. Let me know how this goes!

Trixie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 10:59am

haticek;


I'm glad that you took the time to post here.

Blessed Be!

Laure-co-cl on migraines & headaches

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:45pm
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! **Hugz**. Okay, maybe that was a little weird, but honey you have no idea how relieved your post just made me feel. Okay, its crappy...hell yeah its such an aweful feeling inside, but its nice to know that I'm not as alone as I thought in feeling that way. I used to be so outgoing, so bubbly, funny, witty, kinda' snippy-but "on fire", I had an attitude that said "come be my friend" to all the new people and a warning that said "just don't screw me over". Lately, I wonder if I even have a personality. Its soo hard for me to look a lot of people in the eye anymore. God, I used to be so confident...I used to feel like I was just glowing everywhere I went and I had not a care in the world...even though life was bringing me down. Sometimes, I hear myself talk to other people and I annoy myself. I have to be extremely comfortable around someone for the real me to come out anymore. People just brush past me all the time, I wonder if they even know I'm there. I do smile when someone says hello, and I can put on quite the "phone voice" - but I still feel pretty empty inside. Like, I really wish there was something that made me stand out. I hate feeling like I have nothing to offer the world, but I do. There are just so many times that I think about how nice it would be to feel special...important, respected...well liked. I'm so shy most of the time anymore, that I've been in a new city for nearly 2 years now, and my friends consist of my b/f and his family, my sister, her b/f and his family. I can't even make a single friend. We need to figure out how to beat this. I try to talk to other people about it, but no one understands. They don't understand how physically difficult it is for me to make a new friend. To trust someone. I struggle calling people. Not sure why, I don't really have a phone phobia, I just find it nearly impossible to pick up the phone and call anyone b/c I feel like I'd be bothering them and that they wouldn't want to talk to me anyway...even if I KNOW that's not the case. ARgh. Lol, just thought I'd vent back. Hang in there *Hugz* ~Sarah~ ((I hope to be able to keep in touch))

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