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Please read and respons someone's
| Mon, 11-24-2003 - 8:20am |
Heres my guts and why Im so scared...
I married my second husband just about 6 months ago..it was what I wanted more than anything. He was different from my first husband. Outgoing...would keep an eye on his home and family etc...
Ok..now IM married...(FYI I suffer from depression and anxiety which is set off by change) and now Im so anxiety ridden about this not working..having to go through the pain of divorce again ( I have no reason to worry about this) and be alone having to take care of myself. I think how would I without a man?
I know I can be lectured that we dont need men...but with my past experience I have jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend and husband to husband. I have always had a net under me.
When I work..it sets off my anxiety..so that scares me to death and I lose jobs.
Heres my wish..for the strength to say...Linda..if your afraid that you might be alone..or have to take care of yourself one day..start going to beauty school..or dental assistant school now..so inside you feel secure. Oh that sounds so nice..but then mr. anxiety pops up and says you cant handle that!
Im telling you guys..this is no way to live. Wondering from one day to the next if you will wake up "OK" or not. If your spouse isnt finally gonna go...
You are so annoying woman..uck and walk out.
I go to counseling...he says lets us both go to counseling..and it seems like the day I do go..Im in a good mood and Im fine. I wish I could get her here in the midst of an attack.
Wrapping this up...somtimes I write in here and no one responds to me..makes me sad. Than when I come in and see everyone wondering where another board memeber is..really scared for them...it makes me feel even more invisible.
Sorry for being such a baby today...thanks for letting me vent this.
I married my second husband just about 6 months ago..it was what I wanted more than anything. He was different from my first husband. Outgoing...would keep an eye on his home and family etc...
Ok..now IM married...(FYI I suffer from depression and anxiety which is set off by change) and now Im so anxiety ridden about this not working..having to go through the pain of divorce again ( I have no reason to worry about this) and be alone having to take care of myself. I think how would I without a man?
I know I can be lectured that we dont need men...but with my past experience I have jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend and husband to husband. I have always had a net under me.
When I work..it sets off my anxiety..so that scares me to death and I lose jobs.
Heres my wish..for the strength to say...Linda..if your afraid that you might be alone..or have to take care of yourself one day..start going to beauty school..or dental assistant school now..so inside you feel secure. Oh that sounds so nice..but then mr. anxiety pops up and says you cant handle that!
Im telling you guys..this is no way to live. Wondering from one day to the next if you will wake up "OK" or not. If your spouse isnt finally gonna go...
You are so annoying woman..uck and walk out.
I go to counseling...he says lets us both go to counseling..and it seems like the day I do go..Im in a good mood and Im fine. I wish I could get her here in the midst of an attack.
Wrapping this up...somtimes I write in here and no one responds to me..makes me sad. Than when I come in and see everyone wondering where another board memeber is..really scared for them...it makes me feel even more invisible.
Sorry for being such a baby today...thanks for letting me vent this.

Sorry that things aren't going that great for you right now.
I think it is a great idea to go back to school. YOu will be ensuring you have a "safety net", and when you get into the groove of school, you will feel so good about yourself.
I have to head out to work, sorry the response is so short.
Take care
Pamela
Foggy
(((((Linda))))), you are not alone in feeling this way.
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CL-ladybug987
first of all i want to apologize for not responding to any of your earlier posts. i know that i have read some of them, but may not have responded. some days i have more to offer than others. i understand the anxiety you feel, the fear of change, the fear of your significant other just up and leaving, just changing his mind on day. i am working on that myself. i am going through a divorce and currently dating a wonderful guy. i too have had the tendancy to go from one relationship to another. from my first real boyfriend to my second to my husband. there was a break between soon to be ex husband and my boyfriend now, but not a whole lot. after my husband left it was the start of many firsts for me, the first time living alone, the first time being alone. as scary as it was it was also liberating after a while. we all can stand on our own two feet, given the opportunity. it sounds like your hubby is pretty supportive, which is great. i know it is hard to trust tomorrow will be okay. we try so hard to control things when it comes down to it we have no control of anything or anyone else. i have worked so hard to let of trying to control things. as far as the fear that bf will cheat or run off i do my best. if he says he wants to go watch the football game at his brothers then i say 'okay, have fun' and try not to hold my breath. he has asked me to go with him before and i have always declined. kind of testing myself, to see if i can handle it and if he will come back. has your counselor have mentioned self defeating thoughts? that is probably my main problem, i just think these bad things. i am getting the new mood therapy by david burns this week. i will let you know if it helps. i know how it feels to come here and think no one cares or understands. i know what you are going through. keep in touch linda. i am always lurking around, even when i am not posting. sending hugs your way.
But for the last 12 years I had been on Prozac and it wasnt working anymore.
Thank you for responding...I really need it right now.
Hugs
I would feel better knowing your lurking around and I can toss out a holler if I need ya
wink
I get in here and somtimes read to much and get overwhelmed reading others problems..LOL
So thank you again...
Happy Thanksgiving Sister!
I know how you feel about people not posting back to you. The only reason I can give is that sometimes we're all down at the same time. Believe me. It happens more times than not. I know it's not an excuse, but that's the only thing I can think of. As far as worrying about marriage, I hear your pain. I am not a child of divorce, or been divorced myself, but my whole dad's family has been divorced at least once, if not twice. I worry that I'm going to end up alone because I'm afraid to venture into relationships. And when we become too close, I end it. I think it's half way normal, so don't get so down on yourself. More importantly, just know that your new husband loves you for YOU, and isn't the same as your ex. I hope that this helps a bit. Keep your head up! Love ya!
Trixie
Just a note. If you feel you can't read other's posts because you feel really overwhelmed, that is totally okay!
Take care
Pamela