i can't really think of a title

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
i can't really think of a title
1
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 10:51pm
i'm not really sure what's going on with me lately

i feel nothing, so much crap has happened lately that it feels as though i've gone into emotional shock and i only get upset when i stop to think of specific things. a bus driver lying about me when i was in school, causing me to get in trouble then smirking at me later that day. my father giving my mother a dirty look because she got me something that cost 50 dollars last night when she buys him hundreds in shoes and clothes, he never says anything. she buys my sister so many outfits and shoes, he never says anything. it's just when i get something. i'm the spoiled one. yet i rarely get gifts, nor do i ask for them.

almost everything i have, i buy with my own money. yet he acts like she buys me everything

no one really pays any attention to me or anything i say and most of the attention i get is negative and hurtful.

yesterday i took a knife and sliced at the side of my wrist over and over.. not to draw blood, just because the pressure had gotten to the point i had to do something. but mainly i feel nothing

death is alot less scary than it used to be.. and i'm kind of afraid i may go through with it one day

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 11:34pm
((((((amberscotch))))))

Please don't do anything! If you feel that you need to, please call someone.

Can I ask how old you are? Can you maybe sit down and talk with your family? I know that can be difficult sometimes.

Do you have a therapist? Do you take meds? These, either together, or seperately help a great deal.

Please take care

Pamela

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