I'm so sorry... *triggers*

Avatar for karenmrh
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
I'm so sorry... *triggers*
6
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 12:28pm
I'm so sorry for writing on the board, I've decided that I'm not really mentally ill...I'm just some kind of attenetion seeking hypochondriac.

I’m also a horrible person, because how could I yell at my beautiful DDs. How could I hate them and their screaming and taking care of them?

I’m nuts for sure but it’s my own fault, I mean how could I do the things I do? Well I suppose the point is that I am way too weak and I let things happen to my kids and me.

I just want to die so I can LEAVE all this. But that’s the coward’s way, and I feel so guilty for that and all the other really bad things I do.

Oh man I am just so sorry to lay all this on you, I’m sure you all are in much more pain and suffering than me.

This is why the meds don’t work - I’m not really ill. If they don't work, then they are supposed to look at a new diagnosis. Well I probably have some personality disorder and if I just thought the right way or really worked hard I could be better, I know it. But I don’t. I guess I’m just lazy and fat and ugly too.

I'm so sorry to bug you all.

KarenMRH

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 12:55pm
Hi Karen,

I don't really know how to reply to your post, so I am just going to give you a hug!

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

From, Heather the "Newbie"

siggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 1:31pm
(((Karen)))

Feel free to post here and vent. YOu are not bothering anyone. If people don't feel as if they can help, they just don't read it.

Please take care

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 2:09pm
first of all you aren't bugging any of us. i doubt that you are some kind of an attention seeking hypochrondriac. i know that sometimes i feel like i am just doing this to myself - i am alot of self defeating thoughts. you aren't a horrible person either. all parents yell at their kids now and than. please don't apologize for posting here and please don't stop posting. if your meds aren't working maybe they need to adjust the dose or change the med all together. i know how you feel when you say you just want to leave all of this. you aren't 'just lazy, fat and ugly', you are a beautiful unique individual who is just as god intended. we all have these things that we deal with and god doesn't give us more than we can handle. now having said that i just want you to know that i am not overtly religous and sometimes i have questioned just how much more can i handle before i just snap, but i have made it through all of those things i didn't think i would. i am sure you are going to make it through too karen. please hang in there. please keep posting. i am sending you all the hugs i can.......
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 2:12pm
MORE HUGs,

I agree with the previous post. If people can't handle it they don't read it. You put triggers and that was a good, kind thing to do.

Sweety, I thought the same you did. How could I be sick, I am just an attention seeking, well you know the drill. You are living with it.

IT IS AN ILLNESS. It's the illness beating up on you. Depression is tricky. Know what, don't trust your own opinion of yourself right now. Just know that right now, for whatever reason, you feel sad and down. And you need help. Having kids is tough. What's your game plan, are you on meds, did you just start, do you have therapy? Both were helpful to me.

Post again, and big squishhhy hugs, Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:31pm
Hey sweety. Been there, felt that. Please, don't consider yourself a burden. What do you think we all come here for? Not everyone here takes meds. and goes to therapy or is clinically ill. Sometimes, just a bit of the blues kicks in and we need somewhere to go to discuss how we feel. I enjoy reading other people's posts b/c it reminds me that life is just a beotch sometimes. It gets hard...really hard, but you have to force yourself to get through those times...even if that entails laying all of your problems out on a table so that someone else can attempt to help you sort it all out. It is difficult at times to honestly figure everything out. I know I feel better when I talk to my mom or my sister, or the ladies here and they give me feedback. It helps so you can figure yourself out, that's the first step. Once you realize what might make you feel the way you do, its a bit easier to go after a remedy. It takes work. And it takes time. I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with you. Actually, you probably wouldn't believe me when I say that you're more normal than you may think. Society just has a way of hiding it at all costs...which I believe is the weak way. Just hang in there, we're all here for ya'. **Great big bear hugz 2 you** Love ya' ~Sarah~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 6:27pm

((((((((((((((((((((((((((9Karen, )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))