I can't stop crying

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
I can't stop crying
6
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 9:15pm
Hi, I'm new to this board but I'm not really sure where or if I fit in at all. I'll briefly explain my situation. I moved in with my boyfriend (of 2 years) in August. He is a contract engineer and after his job ended in Aug. we headed down to Florida to stay in his condo for a while until his next job comes along. I lived in Boston and had a full time job..supporting myself and everything so I quit my job to move in with him which is what I really wanted to do. I was starting to really hate my job as a bill collector..who wouldn't, right? lol :) Anyway, while on our sabbatical he completely takes care of me with food, clothes and he's even taking me on a 10-day cruise that leaves on Friday. I'm pretty sure we will be getting married. We talk about the future a lot and having kids, starting a business together..everthing that couples do. He's 8 years older than me (I'm 28 he's 36..I don't know if that really matters..)and very financially set so I don't have to worry about money or have any stresses. I'm a strong person..I'm just not sure what happened to me. The problem is I cry at the drop of a hat the last couple of months. Every stupid argument that we have feels like the end of the world. Like most guys he has porn on his computer and I saw that he was looking at it..and I starting crying. I KNOW he has it, we both watch it but I start to cry every time. It use to not bother me. It's horrible! This is so not like me. I hate crying. It's happening on a daily basis now and it's really starting to scare me and worry my boyfriend. I can't even give an explanation for my tears. It's so frustrating. I'm wondering if it's because I'm so dependent on him or if it's because I'm in a new situation but I would think by now I would have settled in. I really love this man but the way I'm acting you wouldn't think so. He's been making me herbal teas with St. Johns Wart and other things which help temporarily. I refuse to go on any major medication for this because I'm hoping it's just a phase. I know that no one is a doctor but can anyone relate or have any advice?? :(

Sorry for the novel...

Sylent Angel


Edited 11/26/2003 9:17:50 PM ET by sylentangel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 9:37pm
((((sylentangel))))

Welcome to the board, sweetie!

Maybe you are having such a hard time adjusting to being dependant on someone else. Have you thought of getting a job? Or volunteering?

Most of us here are on meds, and they aren't as bad as they sound. But it is totally your decision. I know stress really depletes the b vitamins in your body so alot of people, me too, take b vitamins. I take a b-complex vitamin which has all the b vitamins in it.

Keep in touch. I am looking forward to getting to know you.

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 9:50pm

Welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 5:35pm
Thank you for your responses. I'll get some vitamin B and take a chill pill with it :)

I probably am just stressed out. Today was okay..nothing set me off crying at least.

Thanks again

*Clarissa*

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 9:50pm
Hi,

I hope you start feeling better soon. I think you've just gone through a big change and its taking you awhile to adjust. You were set on your own, but now you moved in with your boyfriend (in a different city?) and you don't have your own work anymore. I know having your own goals is really helpful in overcoming depression (or at least the blues). Do you plan on getting a new job? It might give you something to look forward to... I don't think I can be very helpful right now (weeping a lot myself lately), but my thoughts are with you and I hope things get better.

Cheryl :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 11:04pm
It sounds like you are more sensitive and insecure than usual. Do you notice what thoughts go through your head? Being completely dependent on your boyfriend after you have been independent and self-sufficient is very scary. Have you considered going into therapy? I would strongly suggest it. I wish that I had gotten therapy much sooner than I did. In the end, it made all of the difference.

St. John's Wort is a very mild antidepressant. I've heard of some people that it has helped. But it can take up to a month to start to work. The herb called SAM-e is a stronger natural antidepressant. My cousin had his depression completely alleviated with SAM-e.

The thing to remember with depression is that the longer you have it, the more your brain chemistry changes. It actually changes your brain. So it is a good idea to take care of it right away.

Moving is always very difficult. You might try taking some classes in things that interest you, like dance, art writing, or whatever you enjoy. When you don't work, ,you don't have structure and purpose. Filling your life with things that you love to do can help tremendously. It has helped me.

I hope you have a wonderful time on your cruise. They are lots of fun! I've been wanting to take another one. Hopefully I can in the next couple of years.

Welcome to the board.

Take Care,

MariaC

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Fri, 11-28-2003 - 12:36am

Welcome ((((((((((Sylentangel)))))))))))).