i can't take it
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i can't take it
| Fri, 11-28-2003 - 1:11am |
i feel so sick, and i feel like i just want to crawl into a hole. i was feeling really badly at thanksgiving dinner and then had to go home before i went to my boyfriend's friend's place for dessert. i was really looking forward to it. i have had "unexplained" health problems for my whole life- usually centering around my stomach. some have been diagnosed. but here i am, terrible stomach aches and generally feeling achey and icky but i have felt this way for days and i am worried it is my depression causing it and it won't go away. i don't know if this makes any sense or not, but i spent so much of my life missing out on things because of feeling sick- i can't stand watching it happen now. i am so scared that everything is going to fall apart now like it did when i was younger. i have been having constant panic attacks and i don't know what to do. i can't take the way i feel, and even worse the thought that it might not go away any time soon. i always assume that i am not sick when my stomach is bad because usually i am not, but this is especially bad and i feel terrible. i have felt better and then worse again, and i am so scared that it is my head doing this to me. i know i am repeating myself, i am jsut really freaked out and upset. any insight or support would really mean alot.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Sweetie)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Anxiety quite often goes hand in hand with depression.
((((((((((((((voguegirl15))))))))))))))
Sweetie, about all I can offer is if you have a pdoc to call him/her.
I don't know what to tell ya...have you talked with a doctor about your stomach pains to rule out some things?
Were you really anxious about going to your boyfriends house? Anxiety is sure a pain in the arse.
Anyway, I have to leave for work now. I juse wanted to send you some hugs sweetie.
((((((((((Voguegirl))))))))))
Take care
Pamela
thank you all so much for your support and suggestions. i am feeling alot better today... well, i just said goodbye to my boyfriend who is leaving for a week, so i am being very girly and sad about that right now :) but other than that much better. i wasn't nervous about the thanksgiving thing, i don't know if i told you guys or if you remember that my boyfriend is the brother of my cousin's wife- so it was my family and his family both for thanksgiving (luckily minus my father, but unfortunately that meant my mom was with him- hence the stress!) anyways, here i am talking on and on when no one is probably even reading this! so if you are, thank you thank you.
i was such a mess last night and i posted before i went to sleep and was hoping to have exactly what i got when i woke up- you guys making me feel better and ready to start today! thanks for everything- always.
(((voguegirl15)))
i'm sorry to hear about your issues. However, I'm wondering if the stomach thing is related to depression. I've been having a lot of problems with my stomach, feeling icky and not so hot too...we'll have to chat more about our "symptoms." I've had ultra sounds and IVP's done and every fancy thing that you can imagine it. And nothing. Everything is "normal." Who knows...
I'm sorry everything is going wrong for you now. The funny thing with depression is it comes and goes, and gets worse and worse when it's bad. The only thing I can say is just hang in there, and you can get over this part. Please keep us posted with everything that's going on. Take care!
Trixie
Did you go to the doctor at all this time around or to the E.R.?
The reason that I ask is because I was getting these really bad stomach pains no reason why but for about 4 months my stomach would go into fits and it hurt so bad, I was living in Arizona at the time and my ex my son and myself came to Connecticut for Thanksgiving back in 1998, when we got back to Arizona that night I woke up at about 11:30pm with horrible pain in my stomach I was rolling on the floor went to the E.R. they did and ultrasound of my abdomen and I had gallstones....they ended up taking out my gallbladder the next day wasnt so bad I have tiny little scars 4 of them on under my belly button but you cant see it cause my tattoo covers it two on my right side and one near my breast bone very small ones though.
So anyways maybe you have problems with your gallbladder or kidney you should go to the E.R. if the problem is still there better to be safe than sorry.
I hope that you are feeling better and I dont think that it is your head playing tricks on you feel better sweetie
Erin
I'm sorry to hear about your health problems.
I can't speak to what your stomach problems are. I can, however, relate to missing out on things because I wasn't feeling well. I have always needed more rest than other people that I know. When I don't get enough sleep, my whole body gets achy. I get bad headaches and I even get nausea at times.
I used to get upset about it, feel sorry for myself and feel bad for being a weak person. But now I just accept that I need more sleep than other people. I figure that there's no point in beating myself up about it because it's the way I am. I'm happier if I just accept it and take care of myself accordingly.
So I schedule my life so that I have the flexibility to take a nap almost every day. Yesterday I didn't get a nap. I shopped all day with a close friend. Last night she and her boyfriend came over to hang out for awhile. After a couple of hours I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open. I had no energy to sit up or anything. I finally excused myself to go upstairs and go to bed. They stayed and talked with my dh for a little while. I didn't care because I knew that resting was what I needed. When I laid down I got nauseaus and had to throw up. I felt a bit better after that. I think I may have eaten too much for dinner. I get nauseaus if I do that. Thanksgiving is a notorious day for stomach aches from too much food.
Your body needs what it needs. If you can accept that, than you won't worry so much about what you are missing out on doing. Sometimes people try to tell me that I missed some good time. But I know that I did what was best for myself. There are plenty of good times to go around. You'll have more time to hang out with your boyfriend and eat desert. Don't worry about certain days not measuring up to your plans or expectations. Holidays never do. It sounds like you had a nice time with your family. That's a wonderful thing.
On the stomach thing, do you limit how much food you eat because of modeling? If you do, that can cause stomach pains. Then eating more than usual will cause more pains. Just a thought.
Take Care,
MariaC