Visiting with a little hope
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 11-28-2003 - 4:04pm |
I was very depressed throughout my childhood and college years. My depression was inextricably linked to my self image and therefore, it completely interfered with my ability to excel in school. In fact, I just left university five credits short of completing my degree. I got married to a very nice fellow (only thing that far in my life for which I had gotten any approbation from the family) and the depression just got worse. Let's just say I didn't do anything much in my 20s -- just laid in bed a lot, felt worthless, like I had no future and could never accomplish anything. Interestingly, no one in my family seemed ot think this was very weird, just a bit weird, which just goes to show you that when you come from a family where they say things like, 'aren't you supposed to feel depressed all the time?' that there are problems.
I started therapy when I was 26 and went for several years, during which my husband and I moved to a new city and things improved for me. I finished my degree, got two masters degrees with honors and had a baby. The talk therapy did wonders, as does exercise. I haven't been depressed in about 8 eight years and there are even details, etc. that I don't remember. I do keep a jounral, and a close eye on myself in case it begins to creep up again, but I have not had any symptoms at all in years. All the years of therapy really worked and I feel very good. Just need to put in a little more effort on the career front (which can be tricky with a toddler, but what they hey).
Anyway, if I can do it, you can too. I just wanted to let you know that I know where you have been -- I used to have to fight all those images of throwing myself off my balcony. But now my life is in a whole different place, and while not perfect, I can see how I can make my life anything I want, that I have power and ability and I like myself. All this is possible, but you have to do the work. It seems awful and daunting at times, but it is all about you. And you are worth putting a lot of effort into.
Robin

(((tobermory)))