What now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
What now?
6
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 1:06am
So now what? My friend Lisa is gone, and I feel so lost. I wasn't missing my ex because I had Lisa here to hang out with. But it was around this time last year when we (my ex and I) had gotten back together. I am really missing him.

There is nothing here for me, but I moved back because I was miserable where I was. I just want to go live off in a cabin in the woods. Away from outside stresses, away from people who only seem to hurt me (even Lisa, although she didn't mean to hurt me and I know she left and it is best for her). I want to be happy, to like myself. I knew I need to stop looking for happiness in other people, and I have to find it in myself.

I wouldn't mind moving somewhere, but I can't afford to pick up and leave. I have an awesome paying job here. But I have no friends here. I miss being young and not having bills and being carefree. I miss my horse, I miss going for all day rides and relaxing.

I feel so lost...

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 1:33am

I know how it feels when you feel you're not where you belong..Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone..*hugs*


Jenn










iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 1:38am

((((((((((((((((((((((((PAMELA)))))))))))))))))))))))


Sweetie, I wish I could reach through this machine and give you a huge real hug!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 4:00am
Pamela,

I know that it's the cliche that you have to find happiness in yourself. I agree that no person can make you happy. But I do think that having a life with friends that you enjoy and connect with adds a lot of happiness to your life.

It has taken me years to finally make just a few friends like that. But a few is all we need, right? Have you considered taking classes doing things that you love to do? I have met lots of people at classes. First I took a belly dancing class. That was tons of fun and I met women of all ages and walks of life. It was just a bunch of women having fun together. You could take classes in art, writing, improv (which is VERY fun), self-defense, almost anything.


After school is over, it's hard to meet friends. I specifically prayed to have certain kinds of friends come into my life. I don't know if you are the praying kind, but I'm amazed at how prayers like tht come true. After I prayed for that I had a small circle of wonderful women in friends in just a couple of months.

It's hard to start a new life in a new place. It takes time. I've only been in San Diego for a little over 3 years. I've only just gotten friends that I feel I really connect with. I didn't have friends like this in the last three places that I've lived. It takes a little time to feel rooted in a place. I can see now that my biggest problem in other places is that I didn't take classes in things I like to find people I related to.

Take Care,

MariaC

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 8:39am
(((Pamela))) I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will make new friends and things will get better. Plus----you are still young! You'd better be----because I am a LOT older than you are and I still feel young! Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 9:34am

Awww (((((((((Pamela)))))))))))))


I know it hard to take those first steps to find something like a new friend or something to do..


What about this? Are there any local farms or stables in your area? What about heading over and just hanging out as a start? I know having worked with Horses for years that an extra hand is usually always welcome even just as a hot walker or grooming. Who knows where it may lead?

*hugs

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 10:27am

Pamela;


I'm so sorry that you're going through this rough time right now.

Blessed Be!

Laure-co-cl on migraines & headaches