Why? Why? Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Why? Why? Why?
11
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 4:10am

Why does it seem like when you are already down and feeling bad about yourself, things just seem to multiply?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 4:34am
Trac,

I was trying to figure out why you posted at what was 4 am your time, but it sounds like you work graveyard shift. Yuck. I am in California and just haven't gotten to be yet.

I'm sorry for all of the stress you are going through. I just hate when people do that passive-agressive crap with notes at work. It really sucks. I know exactly what you mean about working on your perfectionism. It sounds like you are very detail-oriented, so to get accused of things that weren't your doing is even worse.

I am not at all detail-oriented. I could swear that I did something right, but not have done it right. I am a writer and editor, but I tell my clients that I should never be the last one to look at something. I am an editor, not a PROOFREADER! There is a big difference. I edit for good writing. I rewrite. Most people read what they expect to read, so it is hard to find every error, especially in your own writing because you know what you expect to read even more in that case. I have finally accepted that I such big time at details. This has helped me deal much better with the shame that I always felt about errors.

I know that things have been really hard for you since you moved. Your son is very blessed to have such a caring mother.

About your furniture situation, you can rent a couch or two for December for very little money. You could also buy a couch at one of those furniture stores where they don't expect you to pay for 6 months.

Also, I bought a coffee table at a garage sale for $10 last year. I like. It had crayon marks on it, which is sanded away in three minutes. It has that stylish weathered look now. I think it's great.

I'm just saying that you could probably put some basic furniture in your living room for little to no money. People constantly remodel and get rid of perfectly nice furniture.

I'm the champion bargain shopper, so I feel like there is always a way.

I'm sorry things are so tough right now. But face that stupid gremlin with all the evidence that you are a kind, caring person. You are amazing CL on this board. You always give people hope, support, and compassion. Everyone who finds this board is blessed to have you here. Your son and daughter are also very lucky to have you.

One more thing, have you called your ex husband to tell him you need the money right away? I used to have to really push my ex husband for the money he owed me. But I usually got it with the right pressure.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Trac. I know that other people nitpicking is very stressful. But they are the messed up, unhealthy ones. They aren't addressing issues head on.

Take Care,

MariaC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 5:05am
Hey!

As you know, anytime you write a novel, I love to read it! I'm being serious. I know things aren't going your way right now, and you have EVERY RIGHT to be upset. You are dealing with a lot of lousy issues. As far as the work issues, here's what I have to offer. As far as someone being so ignorant to go around correcting it, it could have been more of an "anal" issue more than a personal attack. If you say that they're all super anal, hey, it could be well the issue at hand here. Either way, I know it sucks to be picked on/singled out. I also think that moving to days will be more beneficial to you too. It also could provide more opportunity. Plus, it will make you become more regular, and I feel that this could do more wonders for your than anything. I say regular, because working nights isn't the most fabulous of things,and you're almost isolated from everything and everyone. Plus, who likes going to work in the pitch black dark!?

As far as your kids go...I seriously think that you need to sit them down and have a nice long conversation with them. Tell them how frustrated you are. Even if they aren't very receptive of the whole situation, they'll know you're upset, plus you're gonna be able to feel better about it, because you let it out. Keeping all in, is not very healthy, and if anything, letting it out will be SO much of a release.

As far as the jerk goes...well, there's not much you can do. I say call him on it! If he said that he was gonna pay for the plane ticket, what better time to collect than now! You need furiture, he's a jerk...go for it! I know...easier said than done, but if anything could Shannon call?? Maybe she can swoon him!

I hope this helps, and please hang in there. Life is too short to be upset like this. Vent, let it out girl! That's what's gonna make you feel better. We're all here to listen!

Love you!

Trix

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 8:34am
(((Trac))) You have so much on your plate right now. This time of year is exceptionally hard on those of us who are already depressed! I know you will find the perfect gift for your son. I was glad to read that you are going on days at work.Don't worry about living room furniture. Borrow some folding chairs and have everyone over. They just want to spend Christmas with you, they won't care about the furniture! Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 9:29am

(((((((((TRAC))))))))))))


we talked on IM last night and I hope we can talk more tonight..


I just want to drive down to DC right now and help chase those Gremlins out to the garbage dump where they belong.


Talk to you more later sweetie... If you are home tonight I will call so let me know!


*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 10:41am

Traci;


I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now!

Blessed Be!

Laure-co-cl on migraines & headaches

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:16am

Trac,


I'm sorry you are having such a plateful right now!

    CL for The

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:43am
(((((Trac)))))

I think the ladies have given you some great advice. So I just wanted to send you some hugs.

Take care

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 1:41pm

((((((((((((((((((((((((((TRAC))))))))))))))))))))


Sweetie, you are a fantastic person with an

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 2:31pm

((((((((((((((((((((Trac)))))))))))))))))))


I can only imagine what you are going through.

 

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CL-ladybug987

Avatar for karenmrh
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 4:33pm
Trac:

I don't have much to say that the other ladies haven't said already. I'm sorry I wasn't on IM last night to help you out. :(

About the professional stuff....

Immaturity: it is endemic to the computer and tech field, I mean, we are populated by trekkies (I do go to conventions - but I swear I do NOT dress up), people who were picked on in school, etc. Tends to encourage immaturity and a lack of what others call social acumen.

I wouldn't be too concerned, if they really are having a problem with the way you are doing things (and this I HIGHLY doubt), they'd have to say it to your face. What's happening now is someone trying to feel superior to someone else by pointing out errors. And therefore it's more about things happening inside their heads, than reality; or you for that matter.

(((((((((((((((Trac)))))))))))))))

KarenMRH

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