Feeling so Lost
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 11-30-2003 - 10:51pm |
I don't have anyone to go and visit here. My sister never calls me and I am really bitter against her these days. I don't think I am going to spend Christmas at my brother's because my sister and her family will be there, and because of that my dad isn't gonna go. He doesn't want it to be tense. Well, I can't stand my brother in law or one my nephew. And my sister thinks that she is the most important.
Hopefully I can get in to see my counsellor this week. I was supposed to see her last week, but she was having laser eye surgery.
There is one girl that I went to school with that still lives here. And my friend Lisa (who just moved) and I hung out with her. The girl that still lives here is Tanya. Well, in August she started acting really weird, and I approached her about it. I told her that it seemed as if she was mad. She didn't say anything. Well, I called her for the first time in months a few weeks ago. I called her yesterday, and I went over there last night. Her brother's girlfriend was there and her name is Colette. I used to hang out with Colette because she was good friends with my ex best friend Kathryn. But I never really liked Colette because if we all went out, there were four of us, they would leave me and go to a party or something. And then she would say, oh I forgot. So that really upset me all the time. Not to mention that my best friend seemed to want to spend time with Colette more than me. Well, it seemed that when Colette started dating my friends brother, Tanya started to act weird.
Sorry, this is most likely confusing. I just want to have friends. I have never really had alot of friends, never felt like I belonged. That is a dream of mine, to have a group of close friends like I did the year after high school. There was six or seven of us and it was great. I was watching a show tonight and this guy had a make over. He invited all his friends for a bar b que and I just thought "I wouldn't have anyone to invite."
The close group of friends are all scattered. One is in Minnisota, one lives two hours away, one lives five hours away (the same city where Lisa just moved) one lives in Alberta, one lives four hours away. I am the only one is isn't getting married or pregnant. I feel like such a loser. I just want to be loved, I just want close friends. I want to be able to have a close friend who lives near me.
Sorry, this is a novel.
Pamela

If there is one thing my mom ever said that was so wise it was if you have one close friend after highschool consider yourself lucky. The world has changed so. It is so competetive and people in there young adult years will even step on their friends to get to the top. I have seen for the most that it's the competetive people who work their life away that even though they surround themselves with beautiful things they never seem happy enough. I to missed my younger years when I had a group of friends. ( it always seemed like we would be together through thick and thin) and then we grew up. Yes it sucks, it hurts, and you will never forget them. I just want you to know what your feeling is normal and guess what you do have a friend----it's me.
(ps. sometimes people say things that hurt because they are not happy with the situation they have.)
I still have friends who are not married nor have kids and they seem happy:)
~~~~~~~~~~~ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS~~~~~~~~~~~~Amy~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pamela
Pamela;
I'm sorry that you're feeling so lonely right now.
Blessed Be!
Laure-co-cl on migraines & headaches
Pamela
Someone once told me that in your lifetime you will only really have one or two true friends and I believe that with all I have it is true to have one friend is to be blessed.
You do not need a crowd of people to make you feel special or loved or important your worth is not based on how many people you have around you they all wont love you for you what is important is that you have family like your dad and ya your friend moved away but that doesnt mean that you can not visit her.
I wish I could give you some huge insight into things or make you happy or show you to love yourself but I cant it is within you and you exude all of that you show all of that
you just have to believe you are a great person you always show me such kindness and support.
Sweetie try to feel better I think the same way but you know what I would rather have one or two great friends than a bunch or people whocould give a crap about me and I do have only two great friends and for that I am blassed
and you are blessed also.
Lots of hugs to you........Ilka
I was one of those ones who got married in her 20s. Got divorced a couple of years later. You'd be amazed at hom many people who get married and have kids are really miserable. Watch one of those Dr. Phil shows on mothers with young kids. They are miserable! It's not just people who find this board, it's everyone! Just because people are doing what they are "supposed to" do at your age doesn't mean that they are happy. I think the longer you wait for that stuff, the better off you are. My best friend from college is so depressed that she isn't married with kids. But the people she knows who have gotten married recently just married whoever was handy so they could be married.
Did you know that men are happier when they are married, but WOMEN are happier when we are single? That's what studies show again and again. I think it's because women have to do all of the work with marriage and kids, while men just sit back and let the woman take care of them. Who wants to be someone else's maid?
I know what you mean about friends. I in no way relate to the big group of friends I had in college. I saw them at our ten year reunion last year and I realized how boring and shallow they are. I think friends change because we grow apart, and that includes moving away. Having the same friends you had in high school would be tough because you are a very different person than you were in high school. You are more emotionally aware and caring than you were in high school, I'm sure. I assume this because you are such a caring person on this board. High school students couldn't have the wisdom and kindness that you show. Few people ever gain that kind of insight and character.
I know that it's painful to have your best friend move away. It's a very hard transition. That's why I suggested some classes to you. It wasn't until I reached out to new situations that I started to have good girlfriends again. I wish I had realized that sooner. Then I could have had friends much sooner. It's hard to make friends when you aren't in school. You have to put yourself in situations where you will meet new people. Obviously, women don't form friendships in bars. Classes are the best way I know.
Collette sounds like a nasty backstabber. I don't know the whole story, but anyone who excludes other people is a mean person. Anyone who would listen to her probably isn't so great either. She sounds competitive and uncaing.
Take Care,
Maria
I do take a class. It's Monday nights. I live in such a small town, there isn't much in way of stuff to do or people to meet.
Pamela