Not so hot...but hanging in there...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2003
Not so hot...but hanging in there...
6
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:30pm
Why is it when you think you're doing well, you get kicked on your butt. I've been really depressed lately, mostly because of a comment I had a parent say to me. If any of you don't know, I am a teacher. Just an FYI. So, if I ever refer to my "kids" they're really my students. I just am pretty involved in their lives. This parent isn't so nice to me, as well as others. She's what I call a "High Maintenence" parent. She's gotta complain about something all the time. She's not happy with her life, and basically has to take it out. She really hurt my feelings though. She told me what a terrible teacher I was, as well as that I didn't care about her daughter. Also she continued to tell me that I do nothing but "disappoint" her daughter. I know neither of these statements is true, but it just hurts so bad. Maybe I have other parents that feel the same way, or students that feel this way. It's just so hard because I really do love all my kids, including this parent's daughter. I really think that the parent is telling her daughter false things about me that makes her not like me.

Financially, things aren't going well for me either. As you all know, this is putting extra stress on my life. I JUST got paid. It's all spoken for already, and I am in the negative. Not good. With the holidays just around the corner, and presents to buy, I'm feeling the pinch. I know that the true meaning of Christmas is the thought and the spirit, but I love to see the faces of my little cousin's faces get excited, as well as seeing my family's faces light up with excitement. I already am in the process of making sometihng for my mom, and I know she'll love it, however, Dad is a tough sell. Considering that I'm inconsiderate for buying a gift certificate to his favorite store to buy what HE wants, and that I don't put any thought into that. Basically he's a jerk, so I have to buy something for him. Something made is not thoughtful, and I am cheap. Gotta love him. I guess to put it bluntly, I'm in about 7,000 credit card debt (which was put on when I was at school....basically whatever my loan didn't cover). My question to you is this...Should I try to get a loan at the bank to just pay them, rather than all the credit cards (mind you one payment minimum is just over 300 dollars).

I just don't know what to do. This teaching stuff and financial crap is piling up and ruining my life and moral. Thanks for listening.

Trix

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 6:18am

((((((((((((((((Trix)))))))))))))))))))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 7:31am

(((((((((((((((((((Trixie))))))))))))))))))))


I'm praying for you!!!

Blessed Be!

Laure-co-cl on migraines & headaches

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 8:47am
Hi (((((Trix))))))

I just wanted to send you some ((((hugs)))). I got a consolodation loan and it has really helped.

Anyway, I just wanted to send some support.

Take care

Pamela

Ps: Don't worry about that parent. Although it is not fair and completely wrong on her part, she was just taking out frustration.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 3:01pm
I don't know about the debt service myself. I've heard that they can make your credit worse because they have you not pay your bills until your creditors agree to decrease the interest or decrease your monthly payments. I've heard sketchy things about consolidation loans, too. However, since other people here have had good experiences, I'd just make sure you get all of the facts from the companies you call before you go with them. It could really help. I have far more debt than you have, BTW. I'm trying to figure that out myself.

As for the parent, if she's awful to everyone, how can you expect to be any different than the others. I think it's a great skill to learn how to consider the source and let that crap roll off of your back. When someone is in pain, they usually only know how to communicate from pain. They blame everyone else for the pain inside them. And they project their bad qualities on to other people. She is probably disappointing her daughter all of the time, so she blames you for doing that. My sister is a selfish user, so she tells everyone else that I'm a sselfish user. It's the only thing she can see in others because that is her reality. "Selfish user" are the glasses she looks out of that taint how she sees the world. It took a long time for me to not take that personally. A very long time. But now I have enough feedback from others about me not being that kind of person that I don't believe her skewed view of the world.

Your students are lucky to have a teacher who cares so much. I never had a teacher who cared about whether or not she disappointed me. Many are just punching time clocks and getting through to their vacation time.

On the present thing, I think that discount shopping is very fun. I can usually find something wonderful for each person on my list for between 5 and 10 dollars. Just take your lunch to school for the next month and eat cheaply and you can buy some things. Do you have Ross, Marshalls, TJ Maxx, or even Target or Walmart in your area? You can get your dad a nice looking shirt at any of those places. Then go to Macy's or a nice department store and put his shirt in a box from there. They will often give you a box. Just say you bought something there the other day and forgot to get a box. If your dad complains about that gift, tell him that you spent all of your money on him, but since he's not grateful you'll take the present back and not get him anymore. That would be funny! Of course, I don't take crap from jerks like him. You can't make them happy.

That's my two cents.

MariaC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 9:36pm
Thanks to everyone that responded. I'm still feeling down, because of all this junk, but your help did help me. Thanks. I saw the student whose mother is a royal pain today. We were laughing and goofing around just as usual. We got a bunch done, and everything seemed to be fine. who knows? Seems as though everyone is out to get me. Including the flu. It sucks! Thanks again to everyone that responded!

Trixie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 12:38am

Trixie!


I've been in a debt consolidation program for about a year and a half now. I have over $10,000 credit card debt (yeah, I was stupid) and I pay $291/month. It is definitely worth looking into, hon. I went through Amerix, and they assigned Clarion Debt Management to my case. They automatically take the money from me on the 20th of the month, so I have no worries about getting things paid on time..


Hope that helps, hon.


www.amerix.com