TO ALL AND THE ONES WHO ANSWERED BEFORE

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
TO ALL AND THE ONES WHO ANSWERED BEFORE
3
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 9:32pm
I figured I would do a response to all under one heading since I don't have alot of time on the computer at the library.I understand if I want to do it that no one can really stop me. I also do know that I have posted it here because I have made friends with women on here and I don't think it is fair just to leave them wondering. Like I said in my other post I have been pretty much screwed up since the day I was born. I know I have been in therapy on and off since I was 5. Plus I am also dealing with sexual abuse issues and a whole bunch of other stuff. I am tired. This time it just feels like it isn't going to get better. I know in past times I have gotten through it before but this time it just isn't shaking loose. To top it off I have had it hard the last three months dealing with a different therapist while mine was on leave and now going back to her and having to deal with my feelings about that.I did call Kara today (my therapist) and told her I wanted her to get me in to see Weiss ( my pysch.) My family's feelings and I will admit mine too at times is that I need either an increase again in meds but I don't think I can go any higher on this drug or to have different meds.She called me back and said that I can make my own appointment to see him which I explained to her that the office wouldn't let me they said I had to go through her. That is fine she told me that she got me in to see him anyway on Friday after I see her. My pysch is one of those that you see for 5 min and then your out the door. Barely have time to talk to him. I told my mom I will sit in front of the door and not move until he listens to what i have to say. She said he will probably take me away in a straightjacket.I am so sick of feeling this way that if I have to do something drastic to get him to listen to me I will.I mean it is bad when you go to the circus which is a happy thing and at the time for an hour you feel good but then you go back to blahhhhhh! I do appreciate all the love and concern that you women give here and I am sorry that I have not been very supportive as of late. Even though I may not be able to answer I do care and I do understand what it is you are going through and how terrible this disease called depression is. It can suck the life right of you. I will try to keep you all posted on thoughts,feelings and ramblings. Lately that is how my thoughts are. They are jumbled ramblings. Well, I better get on home. Maybe read a bit before bed. Tomorrow is our laundry day and maybe I will help Irv with that and work on cleaning our animal's cages. Have a good night and love and hugs to all. Thank you for support. Andrea
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 11:13pm
Andrea,

I emailed you back, but I don't know if you can check your email or the board if you can only access the net at the library.

I'm not sure that your mom knows the most helpful things to say if her response was that your psych would take you away in a straight jacket. It sounds to me like you just want him to listen to you. That's not crazy, that's completely normal and healthy!

I have been up and down on the roller coaster too. But I finally learned that I always came out of the depression. It's not that the depression is where I "always ended up." Instead, depression is what I "always came out of." It always ended. I started to hold onto that during my depressions, knowing that it would end because it always had in the past. That helps so much to hold onto that.

My depression are much shorter and rarer now. They still happen. I feel so good most of the time, that when they do it's excruciating compared to how I normally feel. But I just reflect on what brought on the bad feelings and thinking about it in a different way. My husband helps with this so much.

I'm glad that you are talking to your therapist. It's good for you to deal with your feelings about her going away for so long. I know that she had maternity leave, but you depend on her and it was hard on you for her to be away. Dealing with it in session is a healthy way to handle it. Try to think of it as part of your recovery.

Please let us know how you are doing and what you are feeling. Again, email me any time you want to.

Take Care,

MariaC

Avatar for karenmrh
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 8:59am
Andrea:

I've got an idea. I know how hard it is to verbalize what's going on with you to a pdoc (Weiss), especially with this wham, bam, thank you m'am way of medicine.

What if you printed out or put on disk or whatever, some of your posts? Maybe the one you did prior to this?

I often give my tdoc & pdoc lists or stuff from my journal or mood charts. Helps boil everything down to essentials and I am also not stummbling and too nervous to say something. Your previous post was pretty powerful. I think it'd help the doc to see what's going on with you.

Hugs,

KarenMRH

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 1:36pm
I was very glad to see your post!!!

Hugs and take care..

Hang tough..