pandora's box

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
pandora's box
2
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 9:08pm
first of all, i would like to thank all those who responded to my question about how to talk to my family about depression. i looked at the links some of u suggested. then i found a site in a language that father can understand, both literally and figuratively. i think we made a little progress, but it still needs a lot of owkr.

now for the main attraction. i know i'm not the only one who is wondering this because i have seen some of u posting about the same thing. why me? no one died, i wasn't abused. so why am i depressed? there are people out there with real problems and here i am just taking up space.

my therapist has been trying to convince me that there are real causes behind how i feel. i don't get along with my mother. who does? i was in a bad relationship. but i was strong enough to finally walk away. so how come i can't be strong now? it feels like talking about it is like rationalizing it. it gives me an excuse to be depressed. that's not what i want. i want a way out, but it seems like on the way i am sinking further down. if there are things that i have forgotten, maybe it's best it stays that way.

thank u for listening to me ramble

Anya

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 10:37pm
(((Anya)))

Nobody "qualifies" for depression. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. You can have the best childhood and still have depression. It sucks, but it's true.

I would suggest researching it on the internet, it really helps to know what you are up against and what causes depression.

Hope this helps a little.

Take care

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 11:04pm
There are many things that contribute to depression besides extreme trauma. A number of disappointing events over time, disillusionment, and even reaching your goals, but finding the achievement empty can all trigger disappointment.

We all go through adjustments when we have change or negative events in our lives. Psychologists consider 6 months to be a time for normal adjustment disorder. If depression lasts longer than that, it is called a Depressive Episode.

Perfectionists often find themselves having depressive episodes. Depression is often characterized by "all-or-nothing" thinking. That means that if things don't go exactly the way you think they should, then you might feel they are completely bad.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy has the most success with treating depression of any form of therapy. It teaches you to not make generalizations about your life, and to accept that mistakes are normal and human.

Many depressed people have been shamed and treated like their mistakes made them horrible people. So they keep beating themselves up inside of themselves. You see this in many of the posts on this board. Telling people the positive can sometimes help a little, but the negative inside is so overwhelming and is the core belief. It isn't until the depressed person is willing to consider a different way of perceiving a different way of interpreting their life events that they can make internal changes. Until someone is willing to do that work, no amount of feedback or reality checks from others will help them much. It takes a decision on the part of the depressed person. I know this because I have not only studied it in my graduate school classes in counseling, but that is how I finally dealt with my lifelong depression.

Lastly, depression is also a chemical disease. People can be predisposed to it. Diet very much affect your brain chemistry. Negative thoughts and personal trauma can trigger it, but within s few weeks or months, the ruminating actually changes your brain chemistry. Antidepressants can help tremendously helpful in dealing with depression. Sometimes it is a matter of finding the right one. It can take up to 6 months for the antidepressants to take their whole effect. That's how long it took for me. It evened me out. But I still could go down to those low lows and stay there, though maybe not as long.

The most effective, proven way to cure depression is with a combination of antidepressants and Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I have read that exercise has an over 40% success rate in curing depression. It certainly highly elevates my mood, especially the longer I do it. It takes about a month of forcing yourself to get your heart beat into the aerobic zone for at least 20 minutes each day to consistently get the endorphin benefits that pour over into raising your mood the entire day.

I highly recommed the book "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David Burns, MD. It's kind of a goofy name, but it's a very amazing book. The first chapters cover the thinking process that causes depression. The author give you very specific, step-by-step ways to change your negative thinking so that you don't stay in depressive thinking.

That's an overview of what I know about depression from my studies and a lifetime of personal experience with it.

Take Care,

MariaC