JUST CHECKING IN-LIFELESS-TRIGGS
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JUST CHECKING IN-LIFELESS-TRIGGS
| Wed, 12-03-2003 - 3:33pm |
I just figured I would check in. Feeling very lifeless. I just go back to bed every chance I get. I called my best friend of 25 years last night to say goodbye to her. She told me she wasn't going to let me go that easily. She lives in AZ and I am in IL. She told me she needs me but more importantly she said her son needs a Godmother. Her son Cole is 19 months old and I named him Cole and I am his Godmother.I said what kind of Godmother am I as I am 3000 miles away and I am nuts. Her and I have been through everything together since we were 8 years old. I also talked to one of the guys that works at the library named Marty.He said I can't do anything to myself because they depend on me to be here. I don't work here but I do come here just about everyday. All these people are giving me reasons not to but I just can't bear to look at my lifeless self one more day.I miss who I used to be in between my depressive times. I know that major depression is a disorder I will have all of my life and that I will need to be on meds all of my life but my heart just aches at the thought of how lifeless I am and how nothing is pulling me out of it this time. I did promise Kathy(best friend) that I would hang on until Friday and see Kara and see Weiss and see what happens. My time is up here at the library so I got to go but maybe I will go out to my parent's today instead of Saturday. Don't know yet have to think about it. Talk to you soon. Love and Hugs,Andrea

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Sweetie, Thank you so much for checking in with us.