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Still Down
| Wed, 12-03-2003 - 10:37pm |
Hi everyone. Just kind of checking in. I doubt anyone cares. I have been of no help to anone on the board for so very long. I just want to vent for a minute or two.
Today was the 5th ECT.Not even halfway thru yet. No change yet. I saw my therapist Monday and my doctor today. The hospital doctor had talked to my doctor and told him that I try very hard to be cheerful---but that he sees right thru it. DARN! Oh well, at least I'm trying.
Anyway,my doctor says he would feel better if I were in the hospital still, but he said he will not make me go back unless he feels I can't control the 'feelings'.
I guess that's all. I'm tired and going back to bed now.
Debbie
Today was the 5th ECT.Not even halfway thru yet. No change yet. I saw my therapist Monday and my doctor today. The hospital doctor had talked to my doctor and told him that I try very hard to be cheerful---but that he sees right thru it. DARN! Oh well, at least I'm trying.
Anyway,my doctor says he would feel better if I were in the hospital still, but he said he will not make me go back unless he feels I can't control the 'feelings'.
I guess that's all. I'm tired and going back to bed now.
Debbie

I'm so glad to hear from you, and yes, I do really care, as I know many others on this board do. I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling much better from the ECT...maybe with time, you will begin to improve.
As frustrating as it may be, I'm glad your doctor can "see through" your happy face...he needs to know how you're truly feeling in order to treat you properly.
Please, if you do start feeling like you can't control yourself, do call your doctor or head back into the hospital...I know it's not a great place to be, but we all want you to be safe and (eventually, hopefully) happy.
Rose
It takes work for me to steer myself away from the negative thoughts every day. I spent my life ruminating and thinking about the pain I had been in. I tried Gestalt therapy to release the pain. I tried rebirthing. I tried hypnosis. I made some progress, but it was my thinking patterns that kept me coming back to depression. When someone went wrong, I went to the worst place. That was a normal, short trip for me ... to lose all hope over every disappointment and start thinking it was all hopeless again.
CBT helped me to stop myself when I start down that path. I actively stop my mind like I'd stop a small child who was running into oncoming traffic, or stop my dog from stealing food from my plate. I mentally say, "NO! I'm not going there. I'm not doing to entertain that victim, low self-esteem consciousness right now." It helps me every day. I don't always succeed, but it helps me a lot.
I'm sending prayers and positive thoughts to you for your ECT.
All My Best,
MariaC
That is how excited I am to hear from you. I think about you alot and I wonder how you are doing.
I am sorry that things aren't going the best for you. I want so much for you to have some light at the end of the tunnel.
Take care.
Pamela
Ps: We all love to hear from you. And don't worry about not replying to posts if you feel you can't. We have all been there and we understand. Just keep us posted, we care alot about you sweetie.
((((((((((((Debbie)))))))))))), it is so good to hear from you again.
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((DEBBIE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Sweetie, I'm soooooooo glad to hear from you!