I just don't know what to do anymore
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| Thu, 12-04-2003 - 1:54am |
I have been in a two year relationship with a man who says he loves me and I believe he does but I am not happy. He says he wants to get married and we even set a wedding date but now he says he doesn't think we can becuase things aren't good financially. The wedding date was set for June 2004. We are both 35, I will be 36 in March. I want to get married and have a baby. He tells me he wants to get married and have a baby too but keeps backing out of it all. Tells me adventually we will. He tells me I am the only one for him and he can't see being without me, so I don't understand the hold up on marrying me.
He knows I have depression and he has excepted that. He supports my therapy and he actually started therapy for himself. I guess I am just feeling like I'm not getting any younger and if we are going to have a baby we need to get married and at least start soon trying for a baby. I made an appointment with my doctor to see if I was able to have a baby because I have some female problems and it turns out I will need fertility medication to conceive. So I am feeling like that is against me with needing fertility meds and him changing his mind all the time doesn't help.
I am getting so depressed. All I want to do is lay around and I feel like I have no energy and feel so unsure of everything. I am wondering am I in the right relationship. I am feeling my needs and wants are not being fulfilled and I am also feeling lonely even though I am in a relationship. I really love him but I wish things were different. I wish my needs were met more often. I just don't know what to do. I have talked to him about all this and I just get the run around and vague answers. He will say one day he wants to marry me and it will happen, and when the time is right we will have a baby. I am wondering is he just telling me what I want to hear. Well I just needed to vent. If anyone has any suggestions on how I should handle this delema I am in I would appreciate them.
Take care and thank you for reading

Welcome to the board.
I want to thank you for responding to my post and telling me about the books out there that may help me. I feel so lost about this and feeling urgency to find the answer to this. I know there is no quick answer or a quick fix but the problem just overwhelms my emotions. I hope you are doing ok and hanging in there.
Tina