Tired of it all
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| Thu, 12-04-2003 - 6:00pm |
I have been so tired and grouchy these past few weeks. It's getting to be more than I can handle. I have always been a tired person for as long as I can remember. This can't be normal. There has GOT to be something that can fix this. I have been to a sleep clinic, I have had my blood tested and tested to no avail.
I am tired of feeling as if I can't express my emotion for fear of being laughed at. I am tired of having to pretend that I am okay when I AM NOT. I am tired of being sad and lonely. I am sick of having no friends and no social life. I am sick of hating myself, of having no confidence. I am sick of being this fat and ugly person that I am.
I just want to go live in the bush with all the wild animals where I can be myself and where I won't have to deal with the worst thing on earth: people.
Pamela

I have been hurt by many people I have loved and given a lot to. I thought it was about me. Maybe it was at times. It was about them, too.
I think that most people are pretty shallow, judgmental, and self-centered.
It has been quite a road for me to find some true friends. Even they frustrate me at times, but they also accept me warts and all, which no friends have ever done before.
I feel like my life has been a process of weeding out all of the negative, hurtful people. Sometimes I've pulled all of the weeds and there was no one left. I'd start over, then end up weeding everyone out again, or getting weeded out myself.
I keep trying to find the people, activities, and things that I enjoy, and weed out the rest. I'm thankful for the few people in my life who care. It has taken so long to find them. None of my immediate family falls into that category.
I understand your frustration. I used to want to go live on a desert island. I still wish there weren't taxes ans so many bills that make life such a struggle.
Anyway, I recommend moving the toxic people out and putting yourself in new situations like classes, where you can meet more people. It's weeding, weeding, weeding.
I think the people on this board are awesome. So that's a start!
Love,
MariaC
(((((Pamela))))), you might want to do some reading about chronic fatigue syndrome and see if anything fits.
Barb
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v254/ladybug987/Signatures/springbutterflybarb.jpg>
CL-ladybug987
(((((((((Pamela))))))))))
I'm right there with you girl!!!
Blessed Be!
Laure-co-cl on migraines & headaches
Take care of yourself.